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#209739 - 03/09/08 04:45 PM Positive Things
rehpotsirhcs Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/10/07
Posts: 204
KeithR inspired me to begin a thread on positive things. I think focusing on postive aspects in our daily lives will lead to positive attitudes about ourselves. And I think a positive attitude about oneself is significant when it comes to healing.

I am sure I have read this somewhere before or gotten the idea from somewhere else. Please don't get mad at me if this idea has already happened on this board. I think trying to list at least 5 positive things that happened to you today or positive things about yourself will help. It's okay if you can't think of 5 positive things. Listing at least one thing is a start.

Here are my 5 positive things today:

1. I did not get angry at my mom today even though I was forced to go grocery shopping with her.

2. I willingly talked with my parents about sexual abuse and even asked if I could buy a book on the subject so we all could read it as a family.

3. I hugged my step-dad today for the first time.

4. When I woke up this morning I was determined to be productive today, so I took my anti-depressant first thing.

5. I tried to do some homework.


See, it's not so hard. Come up with a few things that are postive. You might have to think a bit on it. If you feel like you just can't come up with something postive, please don't say "my life sucks so much there are no positive things." You can put one thing down: 1. I refuse to not give up thinking about positive things even if I can't think of anything right now.


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#209740 - 03/09/08 04:52 PM Re: Positive Things [Re: rehpotsirhcs]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
Great post Chris!

let me see.
1. I remembered to set my clock ahead.
2. I did my homework for monday,
3. I had a good lunch(not healthy but yummy) and I walked to the diner to get it.
4. I stayed in my room and didn't go anywhere bad.
5. I took care of myself this morning and did not get angry at the motel.


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#209741 - 03/09/08 04:56 PM Re: Positive Things [Re: rehpotsirhcs]
Scoutvictim Offline
Guest

Registered: 06/04/07
Posts: 434
Loc: St. Louis, Missouri
Christopher,

WOW...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so proud of you for this post and the positive things you mentioned.

1. I am so positive about my future, I can see that I have a great one ahead.

2. I have made plans to meet a friend and am so looking forward to dinner tonight.

3. I think I have made a great reply to another post on here, and I hope it helps.

4. I'm making great strides in my recovery.

5. I have also bought a book about CSA and am working my way through it, and learning a lot.

OK.... five can be tough. I feel like I am blowing my own horn, and that can come across as conceited.

BUT... They are great to think about.

Luv ya,
Carl

_________________________
Shawn and Ben will always be in my heart....

Happiness is like peeing your pants; Everyone can see it, but only YOU feel the warmth.

Peebles, Ohio WOR alumni, Oct. 2007

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#209742 - 03/09/08 04:58 PM Re: Positive Things [Re: rehpotsirhcs]
KeithR Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/28/06
Posts: 363
Loc: Georgia
Wow, Chris.

I was just going to post my five positve things right back, but then I read yours. These are all great. You're numbers 2. and 3. are really, really great. Since I'm sick it bed, it's gonna take be a bit, but here goes:

1. I solved a math problem (even though I was unable to show my work)

2. I didn't have to go groecery shopping at all.

3. I got plenty of much needed rest.

4. I'm starting to feel a little better so I will be going into the sunshine soon.

5. I was able to inspire someone.

Keith



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#209770 - 03/09/08 07:12 PM Re: Positive Things *DELETED* [Re: rehpotsirhcs]
awakening Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/01/08
Posts: 342
Post deleted by awakening


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#209777 - 03/09/08 07:48 PM Re: Positive Things [Re: awakening]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16265
Awesome topic Christopher,

Let's see.........

1. I got up when I woke up instead of lying in bed all morning.

2. I cleaned up around the house, folded the laundry, and put away the dishes for my wife.

3. I did all my washing so now I have more stuff to fold \:\(

4. I comforted a friend whose sister passed away.

5. I remembered to set all the clocks in the house ahead. (do you know how many clocks there are in the average house?!!!!)

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#209781 - 03/09/08 07:54 PM Re: Positive Things [Re: awakening]
MemoryVault Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/01/07
Posts: 693
Loc: NJ
1. I did an hour of work on my project today.
2. I didn't beat myself up because I'd been planning on doing more.
3. I called a friend and told him I'd had a great time hanging out last night and that I care about him.
4. I sat on the couch for an hour and petted Sebastian, the cat who doesn't call much attention to himself. He seemed to really appreciate the affection.
5. Worked out. Felt good--realized I'm really getting stronger.


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#209789 - 03/09/08 08:23 PM Re: Positive Things [Re: MemoryVault]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Chris,

What a totally cool thread, especially nos. 2 and 3. I am so proud of you. Okay, my five things:

1. I cooked a huge turkey dinner for my daughter before she goes back to college tomorrow morning.
2. I told a friend some things that were difficult for him to hear, but important for him to know.
3. I packed for my trip to the States tomorrow, instead of leaving everything for a last-minute panic.
4. I took Bruno for a walk to the next village and let him chase pheasants and get all muddy along the way.
5. I made time for my daughter so we could talk about how things are going for her at college.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#209791 - 03/09/08 08:27 PM Re: Positive Things [Re: awakening]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 2024
Loc: durham, north england
wonderful idea, thank you for begining this.

I'll try my five things for today:

1:I am considdering positive things to post in this thread without worrying that I am being an arrogant git.

2: Despite getting upset over causing my family trouble over the phone locating my new Deep space 9 dvds, I managed to feel better, ---- and said dvds were indeed found.

3: I contacted my director reguarding the next performance he's running, and he was very pleased I expressed such inthusiasm (sinse it's a production he's actually writing), and would be pleased to have me back.

4: I did not drink any instant coffee, nor buy anymore instant coffee when I nipped out to pick up some milk this morning, though I did buy some very nice flapjack.

5: I am feeling generally more positive today, despite the fact that I've got the second appointment with my T tomorrow.


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#209793 - 03/09/08 08:43 PM Re: Positive Things [Re: dark empathy]
VLinvictus Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/05/07
Posts: 273
Loc: NY
1. I gave myself the luxury of sleeping late to make up for the sleep deprivation of the work week.

2. I donated my dogs' old crates to the animal shelter from which I adopted one of them 7 years ago.

3. I was finally able to confirm a meeting for work the logistics of which had been driving me batty for weeks.

4. I wallowed in slothfulness and reminded myself that I'm doing a lot of work inside myself these days and that the world won't end if the laundry doesn't get put away today. I didn't beat myself up -- or allow anyone else to beat me up over it.

5. My closest friend called to say how much he enjoyed hanging out with me last night and that he cares about me -- and I told him the feelings was totally mutual.

_________________________
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
~ Oscar Wilde

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#209796 - 03/09/08 08:51 PM Re: Positive Things [Re: dark empathy]
imbroken Offline
Guest

Registered: 02/19/08
Posts: 40
Loc: NJ
1. I went to church today willingly with my family. I looked at my daughter and wife and couldn't stop thinking how much I loved them. First time in a long time I went. I actually paid attention and listened to the priest. I felt really good, like he was talking to me.

2. I didn't blow up at my wife when she was venting at me. I controlled my anger, bit my tongue and actually thought about things for a minute. In the past, I would just erupt.

3. I worked on my car. I have an old mustang that I love to restore. Makes me feel good to take a piece from this tired, old car and bring back the shine. Most people throw away anything that is old or worn. It's so easy to just buy something new. But for some reason, I just feel good about myself working on it. When i have had bad thoughts over the years and felt really down, working on this car and reading about them has really gotten me through some tough times. It's been very good therapy for me.

4. Took my dog for a walk. Again, was nice to get out and do something productive.

5. Made dinner with my wife. For a couple minutes I forgot some of the problems we have had recently and realized I do love her very much. She will never know how sorry I am for putting her through this and how much I admire her for not kicking me out.

Despite a few minutes of being down, today was a really good day. I almost wish I could freeze time and replay today over and over. Ever see the movie Groundhog Day? I would be very happy if today was mine.


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#209797 - 03/09/08 08:53 PM Re: Positive Things [Re: VLinvictus]
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
Church with my wife and daughters this morning.

Took my wife out for ice cream this afternoon.

Afterwards, we went to the park and walked around. It was a beautiful, 60+ degree day.

Visited with my in-laws for while (they live down the street from us). They are more like my parents than my blood parents are.

Spent time cooking dinner with my daughter this evening, talking about a lot of things.

_________________________
Eddie

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#209799 - 03/09/08 08:59 PM Re: Positive Things [Re: VLinvictus]
hoverpup Offline
New Here

Registered: 03/09/08
Posts: 3
Loc: North Carolina
What a Wonderful Idea!!!

1. I spent some much needed one on one time with my eight year old son, playing gameboy(it was FUN)

2. Cooked dinner for my whole family on a moments notice(must not have been bad, nobody complained!!)

3. I took soaked in a tub(haven't done that in years)

4. Decided that once again I would try to tackle this problem instead of running away.

5. Found what I hope to be an awesome web site that will help me emensly!!


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#209810 - 03/09/08 09:31 PM Re: Positive Things [Re: hoverpup]
Scoutvictim Offline
Guest

Registered: 06/04/07
Posts: 434
Loc: St. Louis, Missouri
Hoverpup,

Welcome to MS, I am glad you found this site, but I'm sorry you need it. MS is an awesome site, but the best thing about any site like this, is the guys who are involved.

I have to say you have seen some great comments on this thread, and I hope you can tell that these guys will always step up to help a fellow survivor. That is the best thing about this site, we support each other and stand by to offer a pat on the back or a shoulder to cry on.

I am so happy that you already feel comfortable enough to post on your first day on MS.

Plus, this thread you chose to post on is a great beginning, and you have given some fine examples of being positive. BRAVO!!! to you, for wanting to stop running and face this demon that we all are trying to defeat.

Welcome again,
Carl

P.S. #6 for me.... I wrote some encouraging words to a new member.

_________________________
Shawn and Ben will always be in my heart....

Happiness is like peeing your pants; Everyone can see it, but only YOU feel the warmth.

Peebles, Ohio WOR alumni, Oct. 2007

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#209816 - 03/09/08 09:51 PM Re: Positive Things [Re: rehpotsirhcs]
SuperTramp7981 Offline
Guest

Registered: 03/06/08
Posts: 99
Loc: Massachusetts
1.Finished 1984
2.Started Walden
3.walked with my dad down to a pub to watch soccer and eat lunch/drink a beer and paid for everything

_________________________
Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery;
None but ourselves can free our minds.
Have no fear for atomic energy,
'Cause none of them can stop the time.
How long shall they kill our prophets,
While we stand aside and look? Ooh!
Some say it's just a part of it:
We've got to fulfil de book.

Chat Name-Lparsons

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#209863 - 03/10/08 03:15 AM Re: Positive Things [Re: VLinvictus]
lucas Offline
New Here

Registered: 03/10/08
Posts: 4
Loc: scottsdale, arizona
i just now found this site, and am so relieved. do you know how hard it is to find support groups? or therapists specializing in male abuse? anyway ill put down my positive things for the day.
1.i saw a friend in the hospital, and talked to her
2.i sat out in the sun! it was 80 degrees today! started chipping away at the winter whiteness
3.made my own dinner. a rarity for me
4.i did my laundry
5.set up a lunch date for wednesday!

didnt realize how hard that would be. today was a depressing day but now that im thinking of the positives its great! im glad i found this site


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#209929 - 03/10/08 05:23 PM Re: Positive Things [Re: lucas]
rehpotsirhcs Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/10/07
Posts: 204
I'm so glad everyone liked my post idea!

1. I started a really cool thread (15 responses so far!) and even got 2 new people involved!

2. Had a good conversation on the phone (I even talked!) with a friend

3. A girl gave me her cell phone number today \:D

4. I turned in homework today at school

5. I did not skip any classes today even though I really wanted to


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#209934 - 03/10/08 05:47 PM Re: Positive Things [Re: rehpotsirhcs]
GateKPR4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/28/07
Posts: 955
Loc: North Carolina, USA
1. I posted to this thread
2. I went to my dr. today to get some help because the I feel like crap.
3. I went to work and had a pretty good day
4. I had a girl flirt with me at work....???? whats up with that?
I must be getting better with age...lol gotta be those 6pk abs with padding that got her... \:D
5. I talked to my mom some more about male abuse
7. I posted something positive and supportive in another thread
8. I laughed at myself today \:D

_________________________
I'm a normal person dealing with abnormal experiences.
The greatest discoveries we will find within ourselves.
Ricky
__m_ô¿ô_m__
|| || || || || || |

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#209938 - 03/10/08 06:35 PM Re: Positive Things [Re: GateKPR4]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 2024
Loc: durham, north england
1: I woke up at half past three this morning, but spent four hours reading the screwtape letters which helped, not feeling dysmal.

2: I actually got some ideas for my thesis out of my head and written down.

3: I went to see my therapist today and had a reasonable conversation, about my self worth issues, and feel better for that.

4: I gave my kitchin a complete and utter hard core cleaning so that it no longer resembles a war zone.

5: Though I got an E-mail from my superviser seriously wondering where my work is going, I only panicked briefly, shared the problem with my family, which culmninated in my mum agreeing to speak to my supervioser tomorrow on my behalf, tell him that I'm finally trying to deal with my abuse, and suggest I do my phd part time.

6: I accepted this help from my family without feeling either like a parasite, or that my independence was being stamped on.


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#209950 - 03/10/08 07:58 PM Re: Positive Things [Re: dark empathy]
Patrick Walsh Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/08/08
Posts: 22
Loc: PA
five things
I did not blow up at an associate when he seemed to take forever to tackle a problem. And lo and behold, when we got the time it only took 15 mintues to solve (i usually would have blown up)
I had sex with my wife in the morning, even though I was late and felt guilty for coming into work late. It made her feel special.
I got a project started that I've been stressing about, and of course, once I got started, it seemed a lot easier.
I said 5 supportive things to coworkers. Even though I didn't really want to.

pat

_________________________
I'm a good person. I'm a good man. I'm a postive force and I will not be shamed.

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#209962 - 03/10/08 09:13 PM Re: Positive Things [Re: Patrick Walsh]
KeithR Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/28/06
Posts: 363
Loc: Georgia
1. I got out of bed
2. I was able to enjoy the laughter and happiness of people around me.
3. I posted here.
4. I talked to some friends in a positive way.


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#209991 - 03/11/08 12:14 AM Re: Positive Things [Re: KeithR]
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
What a great thread, guys. I've enjoyed reading about your days and talking about my own.

_________________________
Eddie

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#210002 - 03/11/08 12:54 AM Re: Positive Things [Re: VLinvictus]
AndyJB2005 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/14/06
Posts: 1245
Loc: Saint Paul, Minnesota
Woah, great idea! Good to see some positive here. \:\)

1. I worked 18 hours with a smile on my face (mostly).

2. I talked to a friend that I've been avoiding online (long story).

3. I refrained from buying girl scout cookies by the case (none, actually. lol My love handles thank me.)

4. I'm 80% committed to biking when I can this summer instead of the bus (love handles thank me again -- just have to buy a bike).

5. My kitty welcomed me home from work and I love her (even though I'll probably yell at her at 3am for waking me up LOL). \:\)

_________________________
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words. -- Calvin (Calvin and Hobbes)

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#210034 - 03/11/08 08:36 AM Re: Positive Things [Re: AndyJB2005]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
1. I picked my daughter up from school which she loves.

2. I took her to buy a game for her comuter that she wanted even though I was tired and had to drive across town.

3. Even though I had a lot of catching up to do I stopped and installed it for her.

4. I didn't chew out and employee for not doing what they promised to do even though I really wanted to.

5. I went back to a meeting with 9 men last night after humiliating myself infront of them last time and really really not wanting to go back and face them again. Yes it was as hard as I thought it would be but I did it and I feel better.



Edited by Freedom49 (03/11/08 08:40 AM)

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#210041 - 03/11/08 09:46 AM Re: Positive Things [Re: VLinvictus]
VLinvictus Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/05/07
Posts: 273
Loc: NY
Since today just began, here's my positives for yesterday:

1. I got out of the house and made it to work on time.

2. I got caught up on work: while there is still a lot left to do, I'm about where I ought to be and I have done as much as I can right now.

3. I treated myself to a gourmet pizza for lunch.

4. I didn't let my cohabitant's pissy mood drag me down into the dumps with him.

5. I went to the gym and had good, invigorating workout. I can actually see visible results and feel good about my body.

_________________________
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
~ Oscar Wilde

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#210087 - 03/11/08 12:40 PM Re: Positive Things [Re: Patrick Walsh]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
This is such a totally cool thread. It's great to see so many guys participating in it and again, Chris, thanks for starting it. I'm glad you can continue to see more good things happening in your life.

This is what recovery is all about. We DON'T have to sit with this burden on our hearts. The risks can feel extreme and scary sometimes, but the reality is what we see in your thread. Keep up the good work.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#210338 - 03/12/08 06:15 PM Re: Positive Things [Re: roadrunner]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 2024
Loc: durham, north england
1: Unlike yesterday, I actually have positive things to post in this thread today.

2: Woke up at 7 this morning feeling so good I got a lot of work done on my thesis, including some new ideas on the subject which i hadn't thought of before.

3: I recieved an E-mail about an academic conference that looked both really interesting and appropriate to what I'm doing, and i motivated myself enough to register for a place and commit to going.

4: I actually relaxed andtook pleasure in several things, the sunlight, several pieces played on classic fm, some of the novel I'm reading.

5: I booked train tickits to meet my parents for a weekend's break on friday, and was able to be patient with the chap on the phone despite the fact he was obviously both a cog, and not a bright one at that. I also didn't have to feel that I was forcing myself to be patient, or repressing an urge to say something creatively sarcastic.


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#210543 - 03/13/08 07:16 PM Re: Positive Things [Re: VLinvictus]
River Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/23/07
Posts: 114
Loc: Nashville,Tennessee
1. The buttercups are blooming!!! YEAH! Spring is near!

2. It was warm enough to grill hamburgers on the grill and to sit on the patio with my wife and children and enjoy our supper this evening.

3. I got to throw the ball and play with my Weimaraner! He is awesome!

4. I gave and received hugs to/from my wife, and both of my children today!!!

5. I was able to do something really creative at work this morning (editing audio for a podcast)... my creative brain actually worked today!!!





Edited by River (03/13/08 07:17 PM)
_________________________
GD

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#210546 - 03/13/08 07:25 PM Re: Positive Things [Re: River]
KeithR Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/28/06
Posts: 363
Loc: Georgia
1. I picked out and maile a birthday card to someone dear to me.
2. I shopped for and picked out some furniture
3. I ate lunch with a friend
4. I maintained good composure even through there were some stressful things going on at work today.
5. I had a long conversation with someone, and even though it didn't turn out like I wanted, I am still glad I did.
6. I remembered and thought about something personal to me, that I needed to.


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#210547 - 03/13/08 07:35 PM Re: Positive Things [Re: KeithR]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 2024
Loc: durham, north england
1: My mum contacted my superviser, and I'm no longer panicking about not working and letting him down. This is a great relief!

2: I thought very hard today and phoned a friend to have an in depth conversation, where several things were revealed.

3: I watched some startrek tng, though I had to skip one episode because I kknew the plot would hurt me, I watched a couple of others, enjoyed them, and lost my troubles in them.

4: I went to the sandwitch shop for breakfast, then went shopping for some propper grosseries so that I am no longer living out of tins or on take away as I have been for the passed few days.


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#210551 - 03/13/08 07:55 PM Re: Positive Things [Re: dark empathy]
rehpotsirhcs Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/10/07
Posts: 204
1. I had a good conversation with a friend today.

2. I stayed home from school so I got extra rest

3. I did not get mad at my mom today

4. I went to therapy today and I almost cried because I wanted to tell him so badly (it is positive because it is a big step for me)

5. I started a good thread that continues to help indiviudals including myself


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#210585 - 03/13/08 11:17 PM Re: Positive Things [Re: rehpotsirhcs]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
1. I did a open heart case today with a new piece of equipment and I remembered every thing and it went well!
2. I met with other Male Survivors in town and had a good group.
3. I got up early enough this morning to stretch and take a hot shower which made me feel good.
4. I made some good replies today to some posts that I hope helped.
5. I said something to some one that made them feel really good.



Edited by Freedom49 (03/13/08 11:21 PM)

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#210587 - 03/13/08 11:26 PM Re: Positive Things [Re: Freedom49]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
1. I took my elderly parents to a great mexican restaurant for lunch and they ate like there was no tomorrow! \:D

2. I talked with my son back in the UK about problems he is having with a difficult James Joyce essay.

3. I was able to support an incredibly brave friend.

4. I finished an important MaleSurvivor project proposal that has taken months of work.

5. I went for a really nice walk with my sister along the bank of the Susquehanna River.

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#210627 - 03/14/08 07:00 AM Re: Positive Things [Re: roadrunner]
sabata Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/08/06
Posts: 1948
i cant see anything positive in myself------------------sorry----------------------steve


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