He may or may not be a kid in his mind because of his CSA, but he is still an adult to the "outside" world and in turn he must be treated as such, I feel. I think treating him with kid gloves would just enable the manipulation more -- which is what I feel it is when he takes the "well, if it's a dealbreaker, I guess that's what you want, it's your decision" stance. Can anyone say passing the buck??
Stand your ground and don't play his silly mind games.
Just because we're CSA's doesn't mean we're not responsible for our thoughts and actions.
Right on....and not just CSA's, but all adults, no matter what our childhoods for that matter.
As someone who was raised in an alcoholic home, it is also not ok for me to continue to enable others and then act as though I am the victim.....hard to do.....but hopefully learning each and every day!
Best wishes to you brokenhearted.