Larry,

I will be praying for you this Sunday also. We are all with you in our thoughts and prayers.

Ken

Thanks again to everyone who posted here or spoke to me or otherwise gave me support. All that was very important to me and I really do appreciate it.

In the end all this ended on a rather anti-climatic note. We were all ready to go to church on Easter morning, and then my Dad called to say that my mother was feeling unwell and was not strong enough to go. We didn't want to leave her behind, so we all stayed home with her and had a quiet family morning together. It was rather nice ... but in a way I was disappointed and relived at the same time.

That afternoon, as we began Easter dinner, my Dad said grace and I kind of lingered on every word. I appreciated everything he was saying and I even believed some of it, but mostly I was amazed as what a serene man of grace he was. I felt bad because I felt I could never be anything like that. I mean, I knew the feeling wasn't true, and I knew it was an echo from my childhood, but there it was anyway.

Later in the week I wanted to talk to him about this, but over and over again we were interrupted and it was difficult to get any time to ourselves. We finally did talk and he had some useful things to say. But he was talking in ways that brought up my usual problems; I hear the words but they just go right past me. Not because I don't want to hear them, but because it's like listening to an expert talking about a subject when you yourself don't have the slightest clue.

So is this back to Square One? I really don't know. Clearly this is something I just have to keep working on.

Anyway, thanks again.

Much love,
Larry

larry, come visit me. i'll take you to church. the lightning will for sure hit me so you will be safe

I am having mental images drift by my minds eye watching the two of you approaching the front of the building, one wary eye each cast toward the heavens...

Seriously, nothing so sinister would ever happen. God is not like that.

All this has now taken an unexpected turn. My Mom recently sent me an email saying that she and my Dad would soon be returning to the church where so much of the abuse occurred. The Sunday School class they founded in 1953 was celebrating its 55th birthday, and if the opportunity arose would I like her to mention to anyone on the Session that I had written to them about what happened to me but was ignored? I said okay, sure, why not, but I expected nothing to come of this.

But what happened was that they met one of their close friends from those days and told him about my letter. He was horrified that the abuse had occurred in the first place, but then was especially angry that my letter had been ignored. He checked into it and has now raised the matter with the new pastor they have.

I will be back in the States again this month for a conference at Princeton, so that will give me a chance to pop over to PA again. The church told my parents they would like to welcome me for a visit to talk about things and see how I am doing.

I'm thinking I will do this. I don't have any anger towards the Presbyterian Church; I was abused by an evil man, not by the Church as such, and I don't feel that the Church has betrayed me (though I understand and support others who do feel this way). If it can be said that I want anything, it would be for them to appreciate the need for vigilance.

It's a beautiful old colonial-period church anyway, so it will be nice to walk around and see what I remember. Cathie and I were there in 2006 to burn my letter to the abuser over his grave in the cemetery, but the church itself was closed that day so we couldn't get in.

I'm not sure what else I want, but this "feels" like an opportunity. For what? I really can't say. But it feels like an opportunity all the same.

Much love,
Larry

Larry,

Wow! A new, unexpected, and interesting turn If I may say so. I like your approach. Just go and see what happens. I'm sure it will be a very positive but possibly emotional time.

Don't go into it expecting certain things to happen in any certain way. Just let what will be, be. I think you'll be okay with the outcome.

Hugs,

John

Larry, my big brother,

Wow, that is some interesting turn of events. I'm glad to see it come about as well, for several reasons. They are coming to face what they choose to ignore, and I also think it will be good for you in several ways. I think it is an opportunity as you said. Keep us posted on how this turns out, I'm interested in it, but mostly am interested in how it affects you, as my dear friend.

Larry,

I am amazed at this upcoming event. I can't wait to hear how it goes for you.

Andy

A new twist here is that Joanne, my "second mom" (I talk about her in the "Special People" thread in the Images forum on the Members Side), is a member of what they call the Presbytery in the Presbyterian church. That's a kind of supervisory board that looks after the affairs of all the Presbyterian churches in the district and takes decisions on anything affecting the church district-wide. She didn't know that my letter to the church was ignored, but now she does and she's mightily pissed.

She says she has called the church and told them that this one is not getting swept under the carpet and that the Presbytery expects the church to hear me out, look into what can or should be done to keep kids safe, and then submit a report.

This sounds pretty good to me, but Little Larry is digging his foxhole all the way to China.

Much love,
Larry

Larry (and little Larry) - throw down that shovel, men, you have nothing to fear because you have done NOTHING wrong. Remember, you did not ask this perp of the church to abuse you, he came looking for YOU. I think this will be a healing moment for you, Larry, when you have the opportunity to address them in person. You can really open their eyes, and I think it will be validating to know that now the perp's church can look into the eyes of one of his victims and see the real human side of all this.

Remember, Larry, you got a whole team of cheerleaders here rooting for you, man! GO! GO! GO!