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#208394 - 03/02/08 08:05 AM good idea?
greekguy Offline
New Here

Registered: 03/02/08
Posts: 3
ok, so iv kept this to myself my entire life, and i cant kill myself, because i have an amazing family and group of friends, and i know how selfish of me it would be, but its destroying me. and i do need to tell someone.problem is, my uncle happens to be the sick old peodophile, and he's practically part of the family....... would it be a good idea finally opening up to my parents?...... or would it just divide the entire family(and that is something i worry about the most)


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#208400 - 03/02/08 08:47 AM Re: good idea? [Re: greekguy]
ChicagoSurvivor Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/08/07
Posts: 17
What do you think will heal you the most? Do you have a therapist you can talk through this issue with? Good luck with your discernment process. I don't know where one of my perps is. My other is my brother (who just exposed himself to me and old me his was bigger than mine (he was much older) than I. I have not said anything to him or my folks about it. Therapist asked me what would help me with my healing. At this point, I don't need to confront him. Not yet.

Sorry you have even found this place. Happy you are here though and seeking help.

God bless.


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#208420 - 03/02/08 10:45 AM Re: good idea? [Re: ChicagoSurvivor]
Scoutvictim Offline
Guest

Registered: 06/04/07
Posts: 434
Loc: St. Louis, Missouri
Greekguy,

I would also like to say welcome to MS, but I am sorry you need this place.

Chicago has made a few good points. Are you seeing a therapist yet? A good T will help you deal with the many questions that you are now facing.

I also think you should be very prepared for any kind of reaction to revealing this secret. I want to warn you, this will tear the family apart. Sometimes the people who should believe and support us will take the wrong side. It is very important that you have a support network to fall back on, if things don't work-out.

I agree that you will know when the time is right, there is no hurry to tell anyone. The only exception to this, is if you feel like you are still in danger from your uncle. Or if you think he is still abusing others, I would also hope you will be strong enough to help put a stop to it.

Remember, you are here for yourself.

Take your time, healing from the past is going to be a long journey. You have taken a huge step by coming here. Pull up a chair, read all you can and ask whatever you want. This site has been a "God" send to me, and I hope you will find it as helpful as I have.

Again welcome to MS and be good to yourself.

TTYL,
Carl



_________________________
Shawn and Ben will always be in my heart....

Happiness is like peeing your pants; Everyone can see it, but only YOU feel the warmth.

Peebles, Ohio WOR alumni, Oct. 2007

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#208421 - 03/02/08 10:45 AM Re: good idea? [Re: ChicagoSurvivor]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
Hi guys
Question Do you think it is just you your perps are makeing advances to? Is it possible that others could be abused this way? Other children? I think you should at the very LEAST confront them and let them know that if they do that to anyone else you will blow the whistle on them. Personally I would have reported them long before now but that is me. I kept quiet about my perp only to find he had abused many others and I was very upset when I found this out and still blame myself for all those others that could have been spared this pain I have.

Thank you for posting this. Glad your both here.


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#208434 - 03/02/08 11:11 AM Re: good idea? [Re: Freedom49]
greekguy Offline
New Here

Registered: 03/02/08
Posts: 3
no, im not seeing a therapist, im justnot comfortable or never have been opening up to anyone. thanks for all your input!


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#208437 - 03/02/08 11:23 AM Re: good idea? [Re: greekguy]
SpiritRisingMan Offline
New Here

Registered: 03/02/08
Posts: 11
Kalimera Greekguy:

A therapist will really help you, even if it is hard at first. Go once and see how you feel. Baby steps. Good bless you.
SRM


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#208448 - 03/02/08 11:54 AM Re: good idea? [Re: SpiritRisingMan]
KeithR Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/28/06
Posts: 363
Loc: Georgia
Hi Greekguy,

Welcome to the site. I agree with what some others have said. You need to do what will help YOU most. It's not your job to protect your uncle or his relationship with your family. Especially if there's a chance he's still a perp. I've read stats that say an adult peodophile may have an average of 100 to 400 victims.

However like Carl said, you will have to be prepared for any reaction. It's possible the family would support him, sadly enough. It seems like that wouldn't be the situation in your case, but you would need to be prepared. You need to figure out what it is that you need from talking about this to your family, or from confronting him. You need to decide if exposing this will help anyone else. You need to pick when and how you do it, because it won't be easy. It's one of the hardest things you can do, so you probably don't want to rush into it. A Therapist or really close friend can help you think through these decisions.

I wish you the best and Welcome to the site.

Keith.


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#208464 - 03/02/08 12:46 PM Re: good idea? [Re: KeithR]
KENKEN Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/25/07
Posts: 762
Loc: NOTHERN COLORADO
Greekguy,

I can only tell you what I did that was best for me. I did after many many years, disclose to a very close friend and did make an appt. with a therapist. It worked wonders for me.

Like what was said above, you have to be comfortable with what you do, but you asked for suggestions and we are all here to help you.

Welcome to MS,

Ken

_________________________
I AM A GOOD PERSON, I AM A GOOD MAN

From the Movie: Antwone Fisher

***WOR ALUMNI SEQUOIA MARCH 2008***

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