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#20824 - 10/09/03 09:18 AM THE TRUTH!
crisispoint Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 2154
Loc: Massachusetts
Reading "All Lies" has helped me a great deal with the garbage my abuser told me (and I believed), but I also really need the flip-side. Namely what is true.

Henceforth, here are the things I tell myself and I wish someone had told the 11-12 year old me. Please feel free to add if I missed anything. I will do the same.

We need to hear and tell The Truth!

It wasn't your fault.

You didn't "ask for it."

You didn't "enjoy" the abuse.

You are a good person.

You had your innocence betrayed.

You are good.

You are normal.

You are capable of loving.

You are loved.

You are safe.

The abuser cannot hurt you anymore.

They took the power away from you.

You are taking the power back.

You can and will heal.

You are healing now.

You are better than the abuse.

You are better than the abuser.

You are strong.

You did what you had to do to survive.

You are worthy of love, and there are others worthy of your love.

You do NOT have to be hurt.

You do NOT have to "put up with the abuse."

You can hate your abuser.

You can forgive, but only when YOU'RE ready.

You can cry.

You can laugh.

Life is beautiful.

Life is wonderful.

Believe in yourself.

Trust yourself.

It did happen.

There are people who care.

There are people who love you and will love you unconditionally.

You are special.

You are worth something, and you don't have to prove it.

I hope this helps someone. As the song says, "when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance."

God knows we all deserve that.

Peace and love,

Scot \:D

_________________________
There are reasons I'm taking medication. They're called "other people." - Me, displaying my anti-social tendancies

fromacuriousmind.blogspot.com
malehurtandsurvive.blogspot.com

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#20825 - 10/09/03 09:53 AM Re: THE TRUTH!
Mike Church Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/23/03
Posts: 3439
Loc: Toronto, Canada
Scot:

Absolutely great. Each and everyone of us should post that on the bathroom mirror to remind ourselves every day. :p

_________________________
Mikey

IT REALLY IS OK TO STUMBLE. NONE OF US ARE PERFECT.

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#20826 - 10/09/03 10:15 AM Re: THE TRUTH!
Sinking Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/26/03
Posts: 577
Loc: Took my ball and went home.
Truths:
I have located my abuser 30 years after the abuse.
I have confronted my abuser over the telephone.
My abuser stopped short of denying what happened.
My abuser stopped short of admitting what happened.
My abuser said he was going to contact an attorney.
My abuser and I decided on a time to follow up on our brief conversation.
My abuser has since avoided me.
I intend, with all my heart, to make my abuser pay for what he has done to my life.
I hate my abuser.


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#20827 - 10/17/03 03:10 PM Re: THE TRUTH!
crisispoint Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 2154
Loc: Massachusetts
More truth:

You are worth caring about you.

Everything they told you was a lie.

You are not the bad person you say they are.

You are wonderful.

You are trustworthy.

You are wanted.

You are needed.

The world will NOT be "better off without you" when you're gone.

You are a gift from God.

You matter.


I believe that about every one of you here.

Peace and love,

Scot \:D

_________________________
There are reasons I'm taking medication. They're called "other people." - Me, displaying my anti-social tendancies

fromacuriousmind.blogspot.com
malehurtandsurvive.blogspot.com

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#20828 - 10/17/03 06:40 PM Re: THE TRUTH!
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
The truth -

I am a better person than I ever thought I was.

I am not a pervert, like they are.

I can get better than I am now.

I belong to a very brave and exclusive group of people, I'm a SURVIVOR.

Dave

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#20829 - 10/19/03 06:06 AM Re: THE TRUTH!
Leosha Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 3614
Loc: Right here
More truth:

I am not responsible for what else he may have done.

My brother's death was NOT my fault.

Okay, so time to believe this...

leosha

_________________________
Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963

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#20830 - 10/19/03 03:17 PM Re: THE TRUTH!
crisispoint Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 2154
Loc: Massachusetts
More truth:

You have the right to be protected.

You have the right to defend yourself.

No one - NO ONE! - has the right to hurt you.

You have the right to be safe.

You are worth fighting for.

The world is a good place, and worth fighting for.

The perps should live in fear of US, not the other way round.

Love is a gift. It can be given freely and taken freely. No strings.

You can be hugged, kissed and touched without anyone hurting you.

It's okay to love someone else.

Sex is a gift. You can give it freely and to those who deserve it.

You have a right to say "no" to sex.


After my setback, I needed to remind myself of this again.

Love you all (and that's my gift!)

Peace,

Scot \:D

_________________________
There are reasons I'm taking medication. They're called "other people." - Me, displaying my anti-social tendancies

fromacuriousmind.blogspot.com
malehurtandsurvive.blogspot.com

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#20831 - 10/19/03 04:23 PM Re: THE TRUTH!
FlyWM Offline
Member

Registered: 09/14/03
Posts: 322
Loc: Michigan
Wow, reading all this made me cry, I hate to admit that, but these are things I intellectually know, but hard to believe at times, but I try, and this post helps, thank you, and one I must add for myself:

I am not resonsible for his, or others actions.

Now on to the work at hand of believing it evryday.

Scott

_________________________
Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they've been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible in not a declaration, it's a dare.

--Adidas

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#20832 - 10/19/03 04:48 PM Re: THE TRUTH!
Mike Church Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/23/03
Posts: 3439
Loc: Toronto, Canada
More:

I have worth!!

I deserve good things when they happen to me!!!

I am loved!!!!

I can live contentedly with myself and my warts!!

I am not alone anymore and the proof is right here!!!

_________________________
Mikey

IT REALLY IS OK TO STUMBLE. NONE OF US ARE PERFECT.

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