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#208157 - 02/29/08 11:07 PM innappropriate dreams and anger
glad2beme Offline
New Here

Registered: 06/28/07
Posts: 8
I have recently noticed that my dreams are not totally appropriate and that it scares the hell out of me. They are about my anger issues with my nephew but somehow in the darn dreams there is anger followed by sexual contact. This has happened after two major blowouts between me and my nephew. I wake up screaming or sweating so bad from fear. Fear of having the dream and fear of what I had let myself do in the dreams.

This i tribute to some of the past sexual abuse in my life. I know that when I was abused by males in my life i was told i was the bad one for doing it, even though it had felt good. Not the males that were in charge of me that were forcing it upon me.

I am not acting this out in real life but just the thought of these dreams scare me to death for it is the last thing I want to have happen.

Lord knows my nephew has already been abused himself by foster families and I want him to never have to go through that kind of trauma ever again.

I hated it when I went through it, i hated the results it left me with and i hate that i am still suffering its effects 22+ years later.

I have so much more to put into words but trying to figure out where it really goes on these discussion boards.


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#208172 - 03/01/08 12:26 AM Re: innappropriate dreams and anger [Re: glad2beme]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
Glad,
It is not unusual to have those kinds of dreams. I have had them too and I am sure a good number of guys here would admit to it. I think that comes from not fully dealing with the issues and it just means you still have some work to do. You know that deep down and the fear is coming out in your dreams. I am glad your here and I am sad that you need to be here. This is a great place to work out those issues and continue to process what you need in your recovery. I think those dreams are just your minds way of telling you you have more stuff to process and you need to get going on it. It is a good thing and your listening so your doing what you need to do by being here.

Welcome your safe here and not alone.


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#208342 - 03/01/08 10:16 PM Re: innappropriate dreams and anger [Re: Freedom49]
Lazarus Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/01/07
Posts: 851
Loc: Below the radar, USA
Hey Glad,

Interesting post, welcome to MS, sad you have to be here, etc.
I'm not sure I can add anything to the conversation except a question; why are you angry with your nephew, and yet sympathetic towards him at the same time? I'm sorry for your CSA, and I know how you feel. Except for this one issue.

Best regards,

Lazarus

_________________________
"That which does not kill us, surely makes us stonger." - Neitsche

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#208467 - 03/02/08 01:17 PM Re: innappropriate dreams and anger [Re: Lazarus]
glad2beme Offline
New Here

Registered: 06/28/07
Posts: 8
The true anger is because I don't know what to do when he chooses not to do what i need him to do. He has been diagnosed with Adhd, slight M.r. aspergers and odd/pdd mood disorders. He was broke long before I went to get him but I keep trying to fix something that i didn't do. As well as I have found for myself that anger really is not because of him. It is because I don't know enough to handle him and try to work through my stuff as well. I can't let go when he starts pushing back and the battle of the wills is on. I am seeking help from many agencies to work through this but the waiting part is not going so well for me. So I guess the real answer is some form of control or from my abused days of always trying to have it just right so I wouldn't get abused. Somehow i have managed to bring that very thing through but want him to uphold the strict standards I try to fall into but often fail. The other thing i am angry at is that i tried to get him before he was sexually abused but after I got him I found out I was to late. This has nothing to do with how i feel towards him other than i can relate to the pain.

One question brought up so much more than i was aware of at first. But thanks for asking.


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#208486 - 03/02/08 03:18 PM Re: innappropriate dreams and anger [Re: glad2beme]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
Glad,
This is just me so take it with a grain of salt, but I wonder of your anger is not only from what you suggest but also a left over from you abuse and lack of control. When you feel out of control with your nephew's behavior is that triggering a out of control issue when you were abused and causing you to over react? Just a thought. With someone like this boy LOTS of patience and love are required which those of us who have been abused usually have a short supply of. Just a thought.


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#222892 - 05/06/08 06:00 PM Re: innappropriate dreams and anger [Re: Freedom49]
Jblerner Offline


Registered: 05/06/08
Posts: 2
Loc: New Jersey, USA
Dear Glad,

I just wanted to comment that there are no inappropriate content in dreams. What would be inappropriate is acting on a wish which would be destructive to your nephew and yourself. What you need is help in understanding what you feel consciously and unconsciously and in working through these feelings.

Best regards,


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