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#207338 - 02/25/08 03:00 PM Meeting my Avatar
MemoryVault Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/01/07
Posts: 693
Loc: NJ
If this child still survived, he would look through my eyes
And marvel at the Internet
And my cell phone straight from Star Trek
(No, we donít have teleporters yet!)
Heíd hear the silence in my room
A silence known to lonely boys
Relieved Iím living on my own
Still passing time with books and toys

If this kid now were real, he would wonder how I feel
And if Iím lonely or OK
Thereíd be so much I couldnít say
Too young for details, anyway
My face would frighten him, of course
Iíve passed into the world of men
A world of power, will, and force
(Heís no idea how strong heís been)

If this boy came to light, he would say heís all right
Avoid my eyes and scan the floor
His face would beg me to ask more
To pick the locks that bar the door
Would I let insights fill the air?
Throw meanings at his strange arrival?
Or just be loving, calm and there
Since thatís the key to his survival?



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#207344 - 02/25/08 03:27 PM Re: Meeting my Avatar [Re: MemoryVault]
VLinvictus Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/05/07
Posts: 273
Loc: NY
Beautiful, and thought-provoking.

I would be tempted to "let insights fill the air," because I always feel like it's my job to offer advice and make everything OK. That's what my avatar always did, when really he just needed to have someone accept him and care for him and just be there for him.

Thanks for this!

_________________________
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
~ Oscar Wilde

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#207390 - 02/25/08 07:46 PM Re: Meeting my Avatar [Re: VLinvictus]
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11181
Loc: Denver, CO
"Or just be loving, calm and there
Since thatís the key to his survival?"

I would love for my kid to appear so I could hug him.

Thanks, MV.


_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

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#207391 - 02/25/08 07:56 PM Re: Meeting my Avatar [Re: FormerTexan]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
David,
That is really beautiful imagery. You do realize that when you write stuff like that your speaking to him. His responses seem to be hidden between the lines looking at you with awe and wonder. Seeing you tells him he made it. He survived. Your both courageous and wonderful. Thanks for this piece of your soul. I cherish it.


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#207485 - 02/26/08 07:31 AM Re: Meeting my Avatar [Re: Freedom49]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
David,

Really nice. But you know what? When we met in NYC I saw so much of that kid in the adult David I stood around with and talked to and had coffee with.

It's worth remembering how good an abused boy becomes at hiding his feelings and even his presence. We become expert chameleons, champions at remaining invisible. Those were skills we developed in order to survive, David, and just because we are all grown up now that doesn't mean those skills have been abandoned by the boy within.

I keep thinking of those great "time-travel" pics you did. That's the kind of feeling of safety and security Little David needs. Does any boy WANT to be alone? I don't think so. We just do that if we are afraid. Little David IS in there, and so also are the strength and confidence that Big David needs to take his hand and lead him out into the light.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#207524 - 02/26/08 10:53 AM Re: Meeting my Avatar [Re: roadrunner]
ineffable Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/08
Posts: 1371
Loc: state of holeecrapdood
This really moved me
No thrown meanings from me

Craig

_________________________
:: "Anyone who can handle a needle convincingly can make us see a thread which is not there" ::


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