Newest Members
myrlin, AaronS, BookHouseBoy, WeFallWeRise, kieran
12463 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
Blakanezebruh (43), OneWithStrength (37), Parker (45), scottyg (42)
Who's Online
0 registered (), 21 Guests and 4 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12463 Members
74 Forums
63990 Topics
446625 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 2 of 2 < 1 2
Topic Options
#206754 - 02/22/08 02:57 PM Re: Chat room gripes! [Re: Muldoon]
Muldoon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/30/02
Posts: 1428
Loc: St Paul MN
What are Healing Circles

A Healing Circle is a peer support group over the internet. Peer support groups can be a very powerful tool in the healing process. None of us are trained therapist. We are simply survivors coming together to share our feelings. Therefore, we all take responsibility for making the meetings as safe and supportive as possible.


How it Works

We use the chat room format with a few changes. One of the members of the group is the facilitator who directs the meeting. Only one person is speaking at a time. It's a therapy type chat setup where each member can ask for time to discuss their issues and receive feedback from others. Much care is taken to avoid people being triggered. In order to have a open and truthful discussion of the issues, once formed groups will be closed meetings. The circles are a chance to get a little closer to the guys who meet with you every week ,it's comfortable, after a few meetings you get to know what to expect and what each persons needs and strengths are .


Why it Works

The Healing Circles are valuable resource for everyone. We all get an opportunity in the circle that many of us don't get in the outside world - the chance to share something that is pressing against our hearts, and to get some realtime feedback from people who at some level or another understand and feel that pain or concern. In turn, we all get an opportunity to help someone who is hurting and needs our support. That to me is what helps make this community a good one.



Below is some more information


Our Mission Statement.

We understand that the road is easier when not traveled alone and therefore the purpose of this circle is to provide a place of safety for men who as children or in adulthood have been victims of sexual abuse and or assault. Here, one can express his thoughts, fears, joys, or anger and know that his voice will be heard by others who will understand and validate him as a human being. Here, the focus is not so much on the past as it is on healing. Naturally the past and its abuse will come up from time to time but the purpose is to find a way through it to the healing that awaits on the other side. We will look at our journeys to see where we are on the road to healing and discuss things that work for us as well as things that do not. We will learn from the mistakes and successes of others and thus promote healing in our own lives.


Choice

If there is one thing that I have learned in my life it is that I have a problem. It is not my fault but the fact still remains; I have a problem. I did not choose to be sexually abused. The pedophile chose to abuse me. He did not ask my permission; he took what he wanted, leaving me wounded, confused and in pain.

So now it is my turn to choose. I can choose to stay here where I am and feel sorry for myself and try to convince or manipulate others to feel sorry for me too, after all, don’t I deserve it. Or I can choose to seek heeling for my wounds. I can reclaim that which was taken from me. I can seek answers and relief from my pain.

It’s not my fault, but it is my problem. What I do about it is my choice. If like me, you are tired of being a victim, I encourage you to make a choice to heal, I invite you to join us here in The Healing Circle. Together we will travel a road that is not familiar to any of us but common to us all. We will support each other and lend a helping hand along the way.

This is not an easy road we travel and is not for the faint of heart but if you are serious about becoming a victor instead of a victim, by all means, join us. We are not super human nor do we claim to have all the answers. We are just a bunch of ordinary guys who want to use all the tools available to become the men we were created to be

_________________________
Teach the Children to Never Hide in the Silence

Top
#206809 - 02/22/08 07:48 PM Re: Chat room gripes! [Re: AndyJB2005]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Andy,

Originally Posted By: AndyJB2005
Sort of like a Healing Circle? Some are not worthy to be there too. What's the difference in that, besides the name? It's still a "separatists" group, in my mind.


There are numerous Healing Circles that have formed at various times, and each one has been open for participation by anyone who is interested in developing a dialogue on abuse issues with a smaller circle of guys. The formation of Circles is always well publicized around the site.

The idea is, however, that the group will develop its own identity and feeling of trust among its participants. A circle that has been going for awhile will get into a lot of very personal and frank discussions specifically because the guys in the circle have come to trust one another.

With that in mind, it becomes difficult to accommodate new participants in an already existing circle. But new circles form, and anyone who is interested can join one.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#206839 - 02/22/08 09:44 PM Re: Chat room gripes! [Re: roadrunner]
AndyJB2005 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/14/06
Posts: 1245
Loc: Saint Paul, Minnesota
Well nothing against Healing Circles, I was just defining what "separatist" means -- i.e. being "separate" and private. I guess people in the Separatist room are doing the same thing as Healing Circle, but it's not a sanctioned-by-MS event.

Sure, maybe it could use a new name...but no one should take it personally that some go in there, even if the name isn't uber PC, just like I shouldn't take it personally that people go into Healing Circle. Some of us just don't feel comfortable talking about certain things via the lounge, and don't want to upset anyone in the main room. \:\)

Besides it's just a name...sheesh....

_________________________
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words. -- Calvin (Calvin and Hobbes)

Top
#206844 - 02/22/08 10:04 PM Re: Chat room gripes! [Re: LandOfShadow]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16265
Originally Posted By: LandOfShadow
And the Friends and Family room.

I guess this is the place to move to when it's that sort of conversation. Rather-- I just read that F&F are strickly supposed to be in here. So perhaps we should do that.

The Friends and Family room is for use of F&F who wish to have a discussion among themselves but it is also open to survivors unless an F&F user asks them for privacy. Likewise F&F users are welcome to participate in all public areas of the chatroom unless asked to move to F&F by a survivor. There is no limitation on survivors and F&F use of private chat or private rooms to chat with each other as long as the discussions there remain within the Discussion Board Guidelines.


_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

Top
#206892 - 02/23/08 03:25 AM Re: Chat room gripes! [Re: AndyJB2005]
Muldoon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/30/02
Posts: 1428
Loc: St Paul MN
Originally Posted By: AndyJB2005
Well nothing against Healing Circles, I was just defining what "separatist" means -- i.e. being "separate" and private. I guess people in the Separatist room are doing the same thing as Healing Circle, but it's not a sanctioned-by-MS event.



Just to let you know the Healing Circle is not a sanctioned by MS event, in fact the healing circles are only peer support group on their own. The only thing that MS does is provide a meeting place. It is kind of like the AA or SA group meeting in the basement room of the church, you wouldn't say that they where sanctioned events by the church. Just want to clear that up.

Tom

_________________________
Teach the Children to Never Hide in the Silence

Top
#208945 - 03/05/08 10:11 AM Re: Chat room gripes! [Re: AndyJB2005]
ak Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/10/04
Posts: 1491
The healing circles also are private rooms, that do not show up that even they are there. The private rooms individual people make, the name shows up in the room list. Yes, it's 'just a name, sheesh'. It is something I find rude. This is a thread for chat room gripes. That is one of mine. And I have known other people to comment on it, the name particularly, when that particular room is created. That is why I bring it up.

andrei


Top
#208983 - 03/05/08 02:32 PM Re: Chat room gripes! [Re: ak]
LandOfShadow Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/11/07
Posts: 684
Loc: Minneapolis, Minnesota USA
I just want to thank all of you who I've noticed trying to make the chat room work better (IMO). I've noticed more "coordination" around the concerns I've had, and I feel better myself at least.

_________________________
Et par le pouvoir d’un mot Je recommence ma vie, Je suis né pour te connaître, Pour te nommer
Liberté

And by the power of a single word I can begin my life again, I was born to know you, to name you
Freedom

Paul Eluard

Top
Page 2 of 2 < 1 2



I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.