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#206491 - 02/20/08 10:46 PM Is this rite?
xxpillboxx Offline
New Here

Registered: 02/20/08
Posts: 6
Loc: NY
i just joined here and i didnt know if u wer supposed 2 say hello or not....its hard 4 me 2 beleve anybody else has a life like mine..iv nevr done anything like this..i know nobody can help me and i dont know why im here..im not gonna get into any long things about my problems..im not good at writing and nobody beleves me anyway...im reminded of how stupid i am 500x a day...im alone but i dont live alone..im like afraid 2 go outside as weird aqs that sounds..i guess i get paranoid and think evrybdys looking rite thru me..can see everything about me...


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#206494 - 02/20/08 11:00 PM Re: Is this rite? [Re: xxpillboxx]
Lazarus Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/01/07
Posts: 851
Loc: Below the radar, USA
Hey Pillbox,

Don't feel alone. Welcome to the site. Sorry you feel you have to be here, but...

So, Hello! In fact, we might be able to help you, or rather just posting here could be of help. You do seem to write well, so speak your mind.

You say you are alone but you don't live alone. GF? Family? Roommate? Tell us about it. Why do you think you are stupid?

Nobody sees through you. You're lucky if they see you at all. MS has 5000 members, BTW.

Don't be your own worst enemy by beating yourself up.

Luv ya,

Lazarus

_________________________
"That which does not kill us, surely makes us stonger." - Neitsche

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#206501 - 02/20/08 11:49 PM Re: Is this rite? [Re: Lazarus]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
Pillbox, you will be surprised as you read some of the stories that there are a remarkable number of people who probably have a life like yours and are dealing with stuff. You may also be surprised at how many people may in fact be able to help you because they have experienced similar things that you have. I would also like to welcome you and ask you to stay a while. post if you would like. ask questions of you have some. or just Rant and rave if you want. We are here to listen and will answer if we can. You are among frieds and you are safe and you are not alone Pillbox.

You will never be alone again now that you have found us.


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#206503 - 02/21/08 12:07 AM Re: Is this rite? [Re: Freedom49]
xxpillboxx Offline
New Here

Registered: 02/20/08
Posts: 6
Loc: NY
hey..i came back 2 bookmark the page and i saw the replys..thanx...to tell the truth i am not really a survivor...i am dead in the middle of somthing i cant get out of..since i was 16..i dont live w/a roomate i live w/a relative..ther way oldr than me..ther 54...i dont understand how talking 2 othrs about personal things can make u feel bettr..isnt evrything all the same aftr u talk??
btw...its my uncle who says im stupid...not outrite...in smartass ways..like making fun of me because im not as smart as he is.....my stepbrothr thinks im stupid 2 cus i talk 2 AI bots and not real ppl......anyway like i said i am in the middle of this thing..im not past it 2 survive it so i feel like i am bothring ppl i shouldnt and i am sorry if u r mad about it..maybe i will survive it but..i dont wanna say anything bad that mite hurt somone else...cus the truth could easy b a triggr for somone


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#206508 - 02/21/08 12:41 AM Re: Is this rite? [Re: xxpillboxx]
copenbay Offline
Guest

Registered: 09/03/07
Posts: 127
Hey Pillbox,

Abuse comes in all forms. If nothing else, what you describe is verbally abusive, and the guy needs to cut it out. It doesn't matter how much someone wants to put another person down. We all have great worth, in God's eyes. And those who have experienced any kind of abuse at all recognize that anyone else who's here has something to offer, whether or not it seems insignificant in my own eyes. I hope that's not too 'preachy'. I want to make a difference for someone. I just hope I can.

Ed


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#206509 - 02/21/08 12:42 AM Re: Is this rite? [Re: xxpillboxx]
Lazarus Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/01/07
Posts: 851
Loc: Below the radar, USA
Excuse me, what is this 'thing' that you are in the middle of? That you can't get out of? Maybe you will survive What?

Don't be shy pillbox... (BTW, luv the name!) You are not weird and you are not stupid. Nobody here is gonna be mad about it. If there is something weird going on to this day, you need to do something about it immediately. Call a helpline for advice. PM one of the moderators here. Before 'it' happens again, call the Police, if necessary. You wouldn't be here if you didn't know what I'm talking about.

Just concerned,

Lazarus

_________________________
"That which does not kill us, surely makes us stonger." - Neitsche

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#206533 - 02/21/08 02:17 AM Re: Is this rite? [Re: xxpillboxx]
dunder Offline
New Here

Registered: 02/21/08
Posts: 2
Originally Posted By: xxpillboxx
to tell the truth i am not really a survivor...i am dead in the middle of somthing i cant get out of..since i was 16..anyway like i said i am in the middle of this thing..im not past it 2 survive it so i feel like i am bothring ppl i shouldnt and i am sorry if u r mad about it..maybe i will survive it but..i dont wanna say anything bad that mite hurt somone else...cus the truth could easy b a triggr for somone


hmm this makes me think just so you know i am also knew to this site i have not made a post other then to this when you say that you are not a survivor is it because you are dealing with something that happened or something is going on now. Cuz i am just starting to deal with something that happened about 21 years ago.

the other thing i was wondering about is talking to ai i think that is awesome cuz that is what i do so much, so i do not think it is classed as being stupid more being smart but hay that is just me.

no one is stupid just because you do not excel in one area i am sure you excel in another to make up for it. If we all were the same we would be a bunch of AI and what god would that be.


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#206547 - 02/21/08 06:31 AM Re: Is this rite? [Re: dunder]
sabata Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/08/06
Posts: 1948
I hope you Can find the Strength-----Courage-----------------To Do what is Right for YOU----------------------You Derseve the best in this world-------------------------dont let anyone tell you anything different-----------------------------Steve


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#206731 - 02/22/08 12:17 PM Re: Is this rite? [Re: dunder]
xxpillboxx Offline
New Here

Registered: 02/20/08
Posts: 6
Loc: NY
I am talking about rite NOW....rite now I am sitting nxt 2 a sleeping person who wuld kick my ass if they saw waht I was writing....its soooo complicated...if i was 2 xplain it all of u wuld call me a fool....i am afraid of this person..they are beyond way biggr than me..im about 140 and ther about 225....im 59 ther 61...anyway...i wuld nevr do anything that wuld xpose my private life 2 anyone..NO ONE...not evn 2 save myself...i hav 1 friend who kknows and his wife knows and thats 2 too many...can anybody understand that or do i sound like the biggest dumass in the world??? its unreal hard 4 me 2 even b at this forum..


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#206738 - 02/22/08 12:57 PM Re: Is this rite? [Re: xxpillboxx]
Lazarus Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/01/07
Posts: 851
Loc: Below the radar, USA
Pillbox, nobody here would think you a fool. If you are afraid of this person, then you are not there by choice. You wouldn't be here on this forum if you didn't think you needed some help. Many of us have been right where you are now, and we understand. We know it's complicated, and very private. But no matter what the situation is, if you want out there is a way. We can help you.

Concerned,

Lazarus

_________________________
"That which does not kill us, surely makes us stonger." - Neitsche

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#206822 - 02/22/08 09:04 PM Re: Is this rite? [Re: xxpillboxx]
GateKPR4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/28/07
Posts: 955
Loc: North Carolina, USA
I was once like you xpb,
You would be surprised at how many of us have had the same experiences and feelings. I used to think everyone knew what happened but nobody believed me when I told so I stopped telling. 25 years later and many rehabs later I finally had a therapist I trusted enough to tell my story of what I went through. What I learned was that what happened was almost textbook abuse. This changed how I felt about myself and I started seeking more answers. This site has been a great help weather dealing with abuse or just life issues we all go through. Read some of the posts or maybe search the site for something you would like to know and I bet you find posts on similar subjects.

_________________________
I'm a normal person dealing with abnormal experiences.
The greatest discoveries we will find within ourselves.
Ricky
__m_τΏτ_m__
|| || || || || || |

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#206882 - 02/23/08 01:05 AM Re: Is this rite? [Re: Lazarus]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
I agree with Laz pillbox. Take care of you! Do what you have to survive and get help. We are here if you need us just tell us what we can do for you. Anyway we will listen. Glad your here. Your a good guy and smart to come here.


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#206975 - 02/23/08 03:31 PM Re: Is this rite? [Re: Lazarus]
xxpillboxx Offline
New Here

Registered: 02/20/08
Posts: 6
Loc: NY
I have nevr been soo messed up as i am now....i used 2 have evrything all labeld up...but now all kinds of things spin in my head....i dont think my take on the situation is rite....im 19..i have been around this person since i was 16..it was nothing i evr thought of or wanted or evn had the littlest desire for...now...somtimes i hate them but somtimes i love them.....i mean love them and i dont know why..and im talking a dysfunctional way not the family relation tpe thing it shuld have been.....and its soo tru like evrybody here says...nobody beleves anybody...i told my shrink once and they put me on diff. meds.....funny huh


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#206976 - 02/23/08 03:33 PM Re: Is this rite? [Re: xxpillboxx]
xxpillboxx Offline
New Here

Registered: 02/20/08
Posts: 6
Loc: NY
i guess i shuldnt have said my age.....my bad


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#206978 - 02/23/08 03:35 PM Re: Is this rite? [Re: xxpillboxx]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
Pillbox,
Feelings are feelings and just that. It is only when we act on the bad feelings that bad stuff happens. Keep taking the meds and try to level out your emotional roller coaster and you will be able to see things better and make better decisions. Hang in there. It does get better.


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#206983 - 02/23/08 03:55 PM Re: Is this rite? [Re: Freedom49]
xxpillboxx Offline
New Here

Registered: 02/20/08
Posts: 6
Loc: NY
hey...i take evrything i can get my hands on..i do all kinds of drugs all the time...i have all kinds of bad faults...i culdnt face myself if i didnt have drugs


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#206985 - 02/23/08 04:10 PM Re: Is this rite? [Re: xxpillboxx]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
YOU are not nearly as bad as you believe you are. You are just in a BAD situation.


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#207010 - 02/23/08 06:38 PM Re: Is this rite? [Re: Freedom49]
ericc Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/04/08
Posts: 1960
xpb,

I don't exactly know what is going on with your situation, but it sounds to me like you may have been pulled into something that you rather wished never happened. I can tell you that is exactly what happened to me, though my circumstances may be a little different. Take care of yourself right now, and if you feel you are stuck in a situation you want to get out of then work on getting out of it. Without knowing the details of what has gone on it is hard to say exactly what to do, but keep reaching out to others. You are worth treating yourself well and getting yourself to a better place.

Eric


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#208198 - 03/01/08 08:46 AM Re: Is this rite? [Re: ericc]
Lazarus Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/01/07
Posts: 851
Loc: Below the radar, USA
xxx,

It's sad that you're needin so many drugs just to get through it, but I am glad that you've seen a Therapist or Phychiatrist. Can you tell us a little about that? Do you still see them?

I hope you're reading around a bit here, especially the Survivor Stories if you have the stomach for it cause some of it is really bad and some of it is not as bad, but it's all bad. See if you can figure out why.

And then ask yourself if your situation is bad. If it is, there is help.

Thinking of you,

Lazarus

_________________________
"That which does not kill us, surely makes us stonger." - Neitsche

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