hi blueshift, i am new here, but i am very much involved in D&s
(aka BDSM) your story has touched me, and i feel for you. i think you have gotten some very good advise here and i just wanted to chime in as well.
some advise, imho: definatley take a break from bdsm and maybe all sex,that is till you have a chance to get your head together, deal with your abuse and repressed memories, talk to your T, etc,etc. D&s relationships are first and foremost
consentual. no matter what side of the paddle your on !
anyone who chooses to ignore this is being very iresponcible.
that being said i don't think there is anything wrong persay with b&d,s&m,D&s, whatever. everyone has a right to love and be loved. just like you!
play safe,play smart, and take care.