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#205815 - 02/18/08 01:10 AM Why we still feel like children.
endlessjourney Offline
Member

Registered: 11/01/05
Posts: 518
Loc: Cincinnati Ohio
A phenomena that I have been familiar with being a CSA survivor is that of feeling like a young child although I am a full grown man. It seems as if CSA survivors sometimes tend to feel like they are as old as they were when they were first abused. That's a tough one to explain on my part. I'd like to find out a clear reason why we tend to feel like children. What better way than open forum discussion.

Any input guys?

_________________________
Truth is the very reason we strive to live. It surrounds and resides within us. Accepting the truths we already know and seeking out those we do not is a direct path to inner balance and joy. For life is not a means to an end, but a journey. Life comes and goes but the truth will always live on.

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#205830 - 02/18/08 06:03 AM Re: Why we still feel like children. [Re: endlessjourney]
sabata Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/08/06
Posts: 1948
i have no answers----------------but i dont feel like a man----------how ever one is suposto feel-------------------dont know----------------------i feel like a lost boy in a mans body--------------going through a adults world---------------hidding behind--------------------the mans body the world sees------------------i have to look in the mirror----------------to remind myself -that is what the world sees------------------the world doesnt see what i think they do-------------------and how i feel ---------this boy running the show hidden behind a mans body----------------------adults cant be trusted----------------------and are so scarey-------------------------------------steve


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#205837 - 02/18/08 08:10 AM Re: Why we still feel like children. [Re: sabata]
JustScott Offline
Greeter Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/27/08
Posts: 2577
Been here. Quite allot lately. Felt like hiding under my desk at work one day, and not just like people joke about, I seriously considered crawling under my desk and hiding.

Not sure why it is, but I think a lot here, if not all can relate to these kinds of feelings.


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#205842 - 02/18/08 08:53 AM Re: Why we still feel like children. [Re: JustScott]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
endless,
I think it is because emotionally we get stuck at that age. When something triggeres us our mind goes back to the feeling and response that we had at that age. Some of us just numbed out back then. Now when we are triggered, those emotions can be felt now that we are grown up and have the life experience to handle it but when it happens our mind feels like a 4yo in my case. Just a guess.


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#205849 - 02/18/08 10:42 AM Re: Why we still feel like children. [Re: endlessjourney]
Dude. Offline
Guest

Registered: 01/26/08
Posts: 106
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: endlessjourney
A phenomena that I have been familiar with being a CSA survivor is that of feeling like a young child although I am a full grown man. It seems as if CSA survivors sometimes tend to feel like they are as old as they were when they were first abused. That's a tough one to explain on my part. I'd like to find out a clear reason why we tend to feel like children. What better way than open forum discussion.

Any input guys?


Great post!

I have felt like this all of my life? I wonder why myself?


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#205853 - 02/18/08 11:20 AM Re: Why we still feel like children. [Re: Dude.]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6419
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
I am definetly stuck there as a kid. I'm kind of stuck in the 11 year-old me as a base-line person. All else that you see is nothing more than an act. I ACT like a real adult human...but I sure don't feel like one.

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#205854 - 02/18/08 11:20 AM Re: Why we still feel like children. [Re: Dude.]
BMF Offline


Registered: 01/27/07
Posts: 60
Loc: Toronto
Hi endlessjourney,

I, too, have felt this way all my life. I accept that it's partly because I've been "stuck" emotionally at the age I that I was abused. That makes sense. I also feel that it's partly due to the fact that I was abused by a man (my father) and I wanted to NEVER be ANYTHING like him. In fact, I've been ashamed to become a man...guilt by association. It's a bit messed up, obviously, because what else was going to happen? I had also imagined myself dying young. Maybe this was in response to the realization that I was going to become a man some day.

BMF

_________________________
If a man's character is to be abused, say what you will, there's nobody like a relation to do the business.
- William Makepeace Thackery

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#205855 - 02/18/08 11:23 AM Re: Why we still feel like children. [Re: endlessjourney]
ineffable Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/08
Posts: 1371
Loc: state of holeecrapdood
great topic & i totally relate

i have a theory & it has to do with different kinds of memory/memories: implicit & explicit

implicit memory put simply is remembering something without being aware we are remembering it
explicit memory put simply is a conscious recollection... I went to ___ & there was _____ so I _____

I think when implicit memories are happening & affecting us, at some deeper level we are aware
of how old we were when the memory was "born"
For some of us, our implicit memories may be affecting us continually
& why I feel like a 2 year old alot of the time
A "terrible" 2 year old...
holee crap... I just realized why I've been so angry here these last few days

Again just a theory
I am a bit of a science geek \:\) among other thangs
lol

_________________________
:: "Anyone who can handle a needle convincingly can make us see a thread which is not there" ::


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#205870 - 02/18/08 01:15 PM Re: Why we still feel like children. [Re: ineffable]
Dude. Offline
Guest

Registered: 01/26/08
Posts: 106
Loc: USA
Maybe it's because we were robbed from our childhood and our innocence was taken.


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#205978 - 02/18/08 11:00 PM Re: Why we still feel like children. [Re: endlessjourney]
diesel Offline
New Here

Registered: 01/29/08
Posts: 3
When I have a crazy feeling that I don't understand... I ask myself how old do you feel? my brain always comes up with an age... then... what happened at that age? It sounds crazy and it works... this technique has helped me connect strange feelings today with past trauma.
Hope this technique helps... it's very pop in trauma work.


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