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#205732 - 02/17/08 05:39 PM what is man?
king tut Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/13/08
Posts: 2469
Loc: UK
what is a man?

- what was your idea of a man when you were younger?

- what is your idea of a man now?

When i was little i thought adults were not just grown up children, i thought they were like a different species, i thought the reason men didn't cry is because they were physically incapable of it.
To me a man was a person who had "working man hands", whose skin wasn't soft because they had done lots of work and were better for it. A man was somebody who had hair coming out of their shirt collar and who liked cowboy films, i thought all men were the same i guess. I could have never imagined a man as a grown up child. A man was somebody in charge, not just in charge of a situation, but of me, i remember that sometimes i would have my blanket with me in the pubs, so that when it got late i would sleep on his lap, in his arms, as he continued drinking, so man was also a protector.

Man is different now, i don't think i'm a man yet. To me man is just a grown up child now, but one with responsibility, now i define man as somebody who takes care of their responsibilities. I know man can cry now too.

Did anybody else think man was a different species?

_________________________
"...until lambs become lions"

I love you, little lewis, and i will never leave you. We are the same. You brighten my day, and i will make sure that i brighten yours. Hugs and kisses.


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#205737 - 02/17/08 06:01 PM Re: what is man? [Re: king tut]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
Yeah , I kind of remember feeling that way. I always felt like a little kid even in High School. I never reall believed I would be a grown up. I always imagined I would die way young for some reason. Tried it a couple of times in fact. Now I am almost 59 years old and I can't believe it. Inside sometimes I still feel like a kid. Silly I know. I have discoverd a lot of men feel this way. Big burly construction workers that still feel like kids. Life is funny. I first accepted that I was a man when a young man was talking to me in a store and called me sir. I got the awfulest sinking feeling in my stomach. Geez. I am a sir now.

I don't think I ever grew up. I just got bigger.


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#205741 - 02/17/08 06:09 PM Re: what is man? [Re: Freedom49]
GateKPR4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/28/07
Posts: 955
Loc: North Carolina, USA
A man to me was somebody to look up to, hard working, teaches how to do things , goes fishing, and works on cars, fixes broken things, and is also compassionate but not over emotional. Someone who is strong for others.
That is what I thought.
yeah Roger that Sir thing is a real ass whopper. I like to look around when someone calls me sir, and say where, oh you talking to me? lol

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I'm a normal person dealing with abnormal experiences.
The greatest discoveries we will find within ourselves.
Ricky
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#205742 - 02/17/08 06:11 PM Re: what is man? [Re: king tut]
mogigo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 1331
Loc: Colorado
Hey kt, I also had a very different opinion of not just what a man was but what an adult was. To me they were all the things you describe, but also someone who couldn't be wrong, couldn't be hurtful. They were to be listened to and trusted to do the right thing for me. I was wrong about those things definately.

I have the "working man hands" kt, they are hard and rough and are covered in scar tissue and cuts. My fingers go off in so many un-natural directions because of how many times they've been broken. But my daughter doesn't mind those hands, she holds onto them like they were soft as puppies, my cats don't seem to mind either, they can't seem to get enough of my hands. To them my hands are soft, they are softened because by my heart, and because they know that my hands can be as gentle as a new born's.

My hands aren't what makes me a man, but I am a man. Sometimes I feel very much like a child but I think that just means I have the courage to be a real man. To me a man who doesn't cry, or doesn't get emotional, or pretends he's unafraid is just a shell. We become men when we are not afraid of being exactly that, men.

I see now that my Father was not strong at all

Stay strong
Mike

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Thriving

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