ok - to start with - there's no solution, so there's no need to look for one.
i just have to get this out.
i can't handle the pain. mental, emotional, especially physical.
the more i move into "recovery" the more i hurt
like they're afraid they'll catch something
my body is depressed. it's not just a "mood thing" - the only way to describe the pain in my legs and my joints is to say they are depressed.
i've lost what few friends i had
there's no one left to talk to
and 55 minutes once a week is not enough to cover half of how i feel, much less how to deal with it. or even simply cope.
and in pain
yeah - ok - sure - call it a pity party
maybe it is
doesn't change the fact that i hurt
doesn't make it any easier
or less excruciating
someone just tell me why
without all the philisophical or religious banter
just tell me why it matters to try
and i just don't see it ever getting any better