Lat night my fiancee and i finalized our plans for our wedding after talking with the reveran who will be marrying us i am not so filled with fear and self-doubt i can't even sit still or think straight.
Why am i so scared
why do i ALWAYS re-act with fear or anger when i'm unfamiliar with something
Is this normal
am i normal
how do i stop the racing thoughts
I'm sitting here on my computer and my dog just barked and i came a foot off the chair so i screamed at him and immidiately thereafter i knew i had to vent on here otherwise who knows.
I no longer think i'm capable of doing this,although i damn sure will be marrying the love of my life come hell or high water i do afterall deserve it.
Emotionally i am all over the place,scattered and frazzled and shakin-up and unsure why i cannot figure it out.
Being a survivor who deals with his issues daily why do i revert back to that little boy afraid of the unknown yet knowing in my heart and soul marrying lisa is something i have never been more sure of then anything in all my life then i am about being partners forever.
Fear sucks and it can consume me therefore it brings me right back to the days of wanting so much,never getting it,yet still not even realizing i have choices even when they are rough on my emotions and cause me to feel weak and afraid.
" You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have "