im ashamed to say that on sunday i drank a wee bit much and ended up punching through my bathroom window. i also punched a huge dent into my motorcycle. i did this in a blackout state. i dont remember what i did, but of course im very good at forgetting what i want to. i ended up cutting my tendon on my thumb in two spots. ouch...

anyway due to this extreme acting out ive decided to go on the wagon. i recently ( about 1 and 1/2 months ago) quit smoking after 13 years and i feel much better.
i know that the drugs and alchol just mask the pain and hurt, but ive seen posts that say that after a period of sobrity they start to remember some of the things that happend to them. im pretty scared of what im going to go through. i have a good therapist, but i have trouble telling the truth to her. i think i need to impress her so she will like me. i know it sounds crazy. im paying some good money to not tell the truth to someone who doesnt need impressing.
oh well.....
im working on it.
i just need to get some of that out o my system.

Lee, That's what really matters. It seems to me that is exactly the right thing.

Thanks,

Joe

lee75,

I know how hard it is to stop drinking, so good luck. For me, it was the first step in the recovery process.

As far as your therapist is concerned, I think you may feel like you need to impress because you're trying to do something positive with your life.

Maybe you don't want to show the hurt, helpless child side of you. It would be in a way admitting defeat. Don't worry though, you're not admitting defeat, you're admitting to yourself and the therapist that you can't do this all alone. None of us can do this alone.

If we could we wouldn't need this site and their would be no need for therapy.

Good luck and take it easy.
Fusion

I wish I had a nickel every time I was ashamed about something I did. I could pay for my therapy!

If you have a hard time telling your therapist the truth, I would print out the post you made and let her read it. It would be easier than telling her and it would give her the chance to reassure you that you don’t need to impress her. I think she is impressed already because most guys don’t even bother to get help for all this junk.

Good luck man, we’re here for you.

All good moves, Lee. Joe is right Just keep working on it.

Peace