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#204642 - 02/10/08 09:30 PM How do wives/GFs deal with survivors nightmares?
Lou Offline
Guest

Registered: 11/10/07
Posts: 100
Good Evening,

This morning I was awakened out of a deep sleep by my BF's screams from yet another nightmare about his abuse.

Can anyone tell me what we, the wives and GF's are suppose to do when this happens?

Thus far the only thing that I can think to do and have been doing is to shake him and make sure that he is awakened, ask him if he is okay....and then if he feels the need to be hugged or held to do that.

Somehow...it all seems like so little. Damn! I wish these things would just stop! How long does it take? Does anyone ever get over them? I hate this!

I know that his T has recommended that he try to change the outcome of these nightmares and instead of having the ending be something bad happening to him, that he replace the ending with something good happening to him. Personally this morning....I was thinking that maybe the ending should be changed to having something bad happen to his abuser!

Thanks for listening.

Lou


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#204670 - 02/11/08 01:09 AM Re: How do wives/GFs deal with survivors nightmares? [Re: Lou]
childsplay4 Offline


Registered: 11/04/06
Posts: 42
Loc: USA
"I was thinking that maybe the ending should be changed to having something bad happen to his abuser! "

Now there's an idea! That would be a positive outcome, IMHO.


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#204672 - 02/11/08 02:21 AM Re: How do wives/GFs deal with survivors nightmares? [Re: childsplay4]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
just keep telling him that he has the power in his dreams. He can change the out come but he must repeat over and over as he falls asleep that he has the power. See if that works


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#204676 - 02/11/08 03:05 AM Re: How do wives/GFs deal with survivors nightmares? [Re: Freedom49]
frost Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/15/07
Posts: 1377
Loc: Eh?
From my experience, being woken up is usually a very good thing. For one thing as his significant other, you will be a heck of a lot better to see than whatever is going on in the nightmare.

If the trauma he experiences in the dream is still bothering him after waking him up, try reminding him to breathe deeply to re-ground himself in the present.

I have heard dream rewriting has worked for some. I have also done some dream control exercises in the past. If you would like details on these, feel free to PM me.

The nightmares are a symptom, not a problem. They too shall pass as the problem [abuse] is appropriately dealt with and processed. I don't know how long this will take, its different for every survivor.

All the best,
~Brian

_________________________
Boom!

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#204687 - 02/11/08 07:03 AM Re: How do wives/GFs deal with survivors nightmares? [Re: frost]
Lou Offline
Guest

Registered: 11/10/07
Posts: 100
Thanks guys for the posts. I will be sure and pass any and all suggestions on.....it is nice to hear that these shall pass.

Again...thank you for the information and I hope all of you have a good day and week.

Lou


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