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#204031 - 02/07/08 06:38 PM reflecting
nicky Offline
Guest

Registered: 08/24/07
Posts: 261
tears have filled my eyes
yet i can see clearly
all the things i can see
were never meant to be seen

i have to wake up
but i cant face the day
evrything is still there
and yet the tears cloud evrything

when i can see clearly again
then maybe i can come to terms
with what i've become

im not who i used to be
how can i be
im not a child

and i wont be
ever again

_________________________
i like the rain cause no one knows im crying

a strong man is one who is able to control himself when he is angry
what is your definiton of control?

i lay awake another hour
just like the one before
the shadows play a game with my head
i can't take this anymore

http://youtube.com/watch?v=x4EOw8wPBN8




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#204316 - 02/09/08 11:14 AM Re: reflecting [Re: nicky]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Nicky,

Originally Posted By: nicky
im not who i used to be
how can i be
im not a child

and i wont be
ever again


I think that's one of the hardest truths to face, but you're right. It has helped me, however, to see in my adult self how much of the little boy survives in various ways.

The childhood is gone, yes, but the boy is always with us. I really do believe that.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#204456 - 02/09/08 10:08 PM Re: reflecting [Re: roadrunner]
John Ireland Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/02
Posts: 155
Loc: Chicago
i feel YOUr tears nicky... & i KLNOW those tears all too well.. i do KNOW too that the child will NEVER BE GONE... i LIVE the peter pan oath "i won't grow up!!! YOUr innocent boy is always with YOU... NO OTHER CAN EVER DESTROY THAT!!! i KNOW this...

you'll NEVER walk alone!!! :):):)

always dream~~~dare~~~dive, john :):):)


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#204554 - 02/10/08 11:27 AM Re: reflecting [Re: nicky]
Curtis St. John Offline
Past President
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 01/20/04
Posts: 1796
Loc: Westchester, N.Y.
Quote:
im not who i used to be
how can i be


From 2005, Meeting Me was a poem I wrote based on an experience at my first Weekend of Recovery.

I thought I would share it because back then, I was convinced I could never take back what was stolen from me. I was pleasantly surprised to find I was wrong.


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