As some of you know I posted a while back about my boss who was sick with cancer and how I had no compassion for her. This was confusing for me and got a lot of good feedback from you all. Although I do believe my feelings were justified as you had all pointed out because of the way I was treated by her.
The news came in last night that she will probably pass within 24 - 48 hours.
My supervisor Wendy called me last night to give me the news and asked if I would go with her to see my manager before she passed on. I told her yes and that I have been through this a few times and would help her with this. I was not to keen on going and probably would not have gone had she not asked.
We got to the hospital her brother was there and he showed us in to see her.
There was a moment of awkwardness not knowing what to say since we all know this will probably be the last time we see her.
I asked for a moment alone with her because I felt the need to disclose that I am a survivor of csa and cult abuse. She knew I suffered from severe depression, anxiety, and had a rough time of it for a while. She may have been mean at times and very stern but she supported me when the chips were down and stood up for me, and even offered her own vacation time to cover my 6 weeks out of work after an emotional melt down. I think she was trying to change for the better before the cancer took over her life.
After telling her that the depression and anxiety was due to csa and cult abuse, I thanked her for something she had taught me. She taught me to be responsible for myself and my life and choices. She taught me it was OK to make mistakes and be human. She also taught me to not blame others and make excuses. She also helped me to overcome and be strong when I felt like giving up.
The value of these lessons she taught me are immeasurable.
Since that time I took charge of my recovery, my work, and eventually my mind. I don't think I would have ever been able to deal with the csa and cult abuse had I not learned those things. For this I am grateful!
She gave me a big hug and it was heart felt and I am glad that Wendy asked me to go with her.
I never thought I would find anything good about to say about my manager never mind being grateful for anything to do with her but I was wrong ,and she helped me more than she will ever know. I am glad that I had the opportunity to let her know the truth of my condition, and to thank her for helping me.
I'm a normal person dealing with abnormal experiences.
The greatest discoveries we will find within ourselves.
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