Just what it ask in the subject. How do you safely release the anger? I fear so much loss of control of things, I keep to much inside me, and it become to feeling dangerous. How do you safely release it, so it is not going to do damage to yourself or someone/something else?

VN

Hi, VN,

I'm new here, but I thought I'd just share three things that work for me.

1.) Writing -- if I can put my anger into words, in whatever way seems best at the time, it helps externalize the anger.

2.) Talk to a supportive friend -- sharing my feelings with a person I know cares about me and supports me is often a good safety valve

3.) Exercise -- physical activity is also a good venting mechanism for me.

All I can say is that these help me, and I hope one or more of them will be helpful to you.

Visha,

I know we discussed this during and after our Healing Circle this morning but I just thought I'd put a few thoughts in here for anyone else who is going to be reading this thread. VLinvictus has a great point here about writing. I find when the chips are down if I turn to my journal and just write, or draw, or just get onto paper whatever it is that's running through my mind it often helps to dull the anger enough to make it through.

Something I am told often is that, the amount of anger we have on the surface often mirrors the amount of pain that is under the surface. I suspect there is a great deal of truth in this and expressing that anger will eventually get you through to being able to express the pain and working through that.

Anyways, my suggestion from this morning still stands, video games like Grand Theft Auto let you do all kinds of stuff that you simply can't do in reality and they have helped me in the past to take that edge off - again, just enough to get through it.

As was said above, talking it out with those you trust is a great way to release it and validate it. Exercise is a great suggestion as well, and something I've done in the past which has helped, is I've driven up one of the many mountains in my area to somewhere that is remote and just SCREAM... Where I live it's very easy to get an echo and I have found it helpful to hear that echo as though it's understanding how I'm feeling. I realize that echo's aren't always available but hey, its worth a shot.

I think it's important to point out that your anger is valid and it's okay to be angry. Its what we do with that anger that is important and good on you for seeking healthy ways to release it.

Don't forget what Tom, Alexey and I said to you in our circle -- we're here for you. Feel free to send us a PM no matter how angry it might sound. We're available for you, to listen and hear you. You're never alone Visha!

~Brian

Cognitive writing is good, you may be surprised by what you learn about yourself with this type of writing.

I play Duke Nukem3D atomic edition( you can download this off the net )
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duke_Nukem_3D
Quake 2 and 4, Carmageddon is another good anger reducer. Banging nails into a piece of wood. Someone mentioned they hit a log with a baseball bat. Another goes out to the woods and screams as loud as he can until he is exhausted.

I like the blasting of aliens. Nothing like loading the RPG and blasting the heck out of something.

Hope this helps

go out in the woods and yell and scream or, Kick a tree

That's a good idea, too. My game of choice is Civilization IV There's nothing like world conquest to vent one's pent up rage!

-Dan

He nuked Gandhi!!!

I know that I play games and write but still struggle with expressing anger. I think those things let me vent to a certain degrees but it's still a struggle. I tend to feel sad or depressed but anger....

Run Run Run.

Or if you are as old and out of shape as I am, just run.

I also like to yell (usually in my car on an uncrowded stretch of road).

Sometimes hitting a golf ball seems to help too.

Anger, this sure is an issue for me as to how to release it. I have a very hard time releasing my anger. I do not have good coping skills with this subject. I wish I did.

I tend to hold anger inside of me until I can't any more and then I let it out very irrationally. I say things that I don't mean, I hurt people with the poor choice of words I say. But I never use physical force. I guess that is my only good quality when it comes to anger. Then I always have to tell everyone I hurt how sorry I am for what I said and how I hurt them.

I am going to try to journal when I am angry and also get out and exercise or just walk.

These are good suggestions.

Thanks

Ken