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#203529 - 02/04/08 02:04 PM To find and play with the 'inner child'
VN Offline

Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 723
I have heard much hear, and it is been talked about some today in chat, of 'inner child', and how to play with them and show to them they are safe in the world today as we are adults to protect them now. I have never been so comfortable with the thought, I just always thought, well, if the abuse began before you even can remember, how you can have 'inner child'? Didn't that child inside you just die so long ago? I don't know. There is times I feel I have fun, there is times even I feel silly. Is that just me, as an adult, relaxed, or is that the 'inner child'? I don't know if I really understand it as much I could.

I wanted to know, suggestions, what people do to 'play with' their inner child, or to even know that he exist? How do you know that it is what it is, how do it feel different then just being a adult just having fun? I just want to more understand it I guess.


#203563 - 02/04/08 06:37 PM Re: To find and play with the 'inner child' [Re: VN]
frost Offline

Registered: 03/15/07
Posts: 1377
Loc: Eh?

I think when you feel like you're having fun, and are feeling silly, that's both you as an adult, and little Visha inside. That child did not just die inside but he grew up to be the adult that you are today. He [you] survived! However, there are certain things that got damaged as a result of the abuse and trauma that happened and because of that it's important to honour that child and identify with that part of you.

This might mean different things for different people. For me, I have done many things to honour that child since I finally stopped ignoring him at the Weekend of Recovery I went to at Alta. For Christmas, my wife got me a race track/car set... I have a few 'toys' that would be otherwise for a little kid, but I enjoy them just as much now as an adult. I find it amazing after all these years how I can still be totally mesmerized by a car going around the same track time and time again. Children are simple like that though, and if nothing else it's about taking a step back from the complexity of adult life and just enjoying the simple things.

The kid in all of us identifies most with the simpler things in life and with simple emotions like laughing or crying. Happy or sad. Children don't understand what 'depression' is, its just 'sad' to them. Celebrate the simple.



#203579 - 02/04/08 08:16 PM Re: To find and play with the 'inner child' [Re: frost]
tartugas Offline
Board Member
Registered: 02/11/07
Posts: 513
Loc: NYC
As long as you are alive, so is your inner child. The adult Visha who survived is the protector and guardian of that little Visha that still lives inside of you, and through whose eyes the world can sometimes appear to be a scary and terrifying place.

I feel that it's more useful to talk about respecting our inner child. The pain and the anxiety we that we feel overwhelm us so often as adults is really the pain of that child finding a way to be heard. I think that while it's certainly important to learn how to have fun, play and fun are not the only things that a child needs to develop healthily. A child needs respect, encouragement, and love. The more of those things you can give yourself and your inner child, the more progress you will make in your healing journey.

"I am not a mechanism, an assembly of various sections.
And it is not because the mechanism is working wrongly, that I am ill.
I am ill because of wounds to the soul, to the deep emotional self...."
Healing D.H. Lawrence

#203581 - 02/04/08 08:34 PM Re: To find and play with the 'inner child' [Re: tartugas]
Muldoon Offline

Registered: 05/30/02
Posts: 1428
Loc: St Paul MN
Originally Posted By: tartugas
A child needs respect, encouragement, and love. The more of those things you can give yourself and your inner child, the more progress you will make in your healing journey.

Chris very well put. I think one other thing is to just let it happen. when the little one is ready to come out and play let him have the oppertunity to do that. Don't worry about what others will think.


Teach the Children to Never Hide in the Silence

#203595 - 02/04/08 09:55 PM Re: To find and play with the 'inner child' [Re: Muldoon]
KENKEN Offline

Registered: 09/25/07
Posts: 762
I just hope and pray that I will some day be able to remember some fun my "little Guy" had. All I remember is the SA that "little guy" went through. I feel so sad for him and just wish I could have or would have been more help for him. I was shy, timid, guilt ridden, weak and scared.

I know there was some fun in his life, I just can't remember it.


From the Movie: Antwone Fisher


#204020 - 02/07/08 05:02 PM Re: To find and play with the 'inner child' [Re: KENKEN]
ak Offline

Registered: 01/10/04
Posts: 1491
Perhaps try to recall things that you liked to do as a child, and do them now? Or things that you think are interesting now, but you feel are 'silly'.


#204025 - 02/07/08 05:53 PM Re: To find and play with the 'inner child' [Re: ak]
MarkK Offline

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2564
Loc: Denver, CO
I have a small stuffed animal toy. When I hug it to the left side of my face, my inner child is VERY present. I can't explain it except to say the emotion is very very strong.



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