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#200599 - 01/21/08 04:39 PM whoda thunk?
froggy12 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/06
Posts: 527
Loc: Marlboro, MA 01752
Wow!
I am intrinsically disordered!
Gee, that means I canít be happy
Ever
But thatís not true
Since I do know happiness
I have experienced it, along with joy, love, kindness
And real friendship.

Maybe thatís what it means
Since I do not fit the norm
Whatever that is

My favorite history prof said I am an anomaly
My badge of honor
Next to the Badge of the Brothers in Arms of MS
I wear it with pride because I am surviving

Not always with joy, or happiness
Bad memories, no matter how distant, do not die
It depends how I deal with them
They canít stay frozen or I wonít get pass them
But how do I let them melt?

Do I deflect the heat from the hell I experienced
cause the melt down?

It was my own real ice age, called denial by some.
Hidden in the far, dark closets in my mind
Out of sight, but really never out of mind, just dim
Hidden in the mist of my past

Then the roof blew off and the dark became light
The mist evaporated
Almost, some still lingers
But I can see more clearly, I think, I hope

And as long as I have some hope
I will continue to grow and survive.

_________________________
??

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#200612 - 01/21/08 06:33 PM Re: whoda thunk? [Re: froggy12]
dancr6 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/02/07
Posts: 383
Loc: georgia
Great.
I've been going through an unexpected slump but even in the midst of it I remembered the feeling of happiness and the fact that I have grown enough to have "experienced it, along with joy, love, kindness and real friendship".
Maybe hope is the saving grace of all these ups and downs.
Thanks guy.

_________________________
I'm a freeman now, his authority's dead
no pain monger lies in my comfortable bed!

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#200726 - 01/22/08 11:31 AM Re: whoda thunk? [Re: dancr6]
Bobby Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/01/04
Posts: 1287
Loc: Arizona
Ah, Froggy, and such a wonderful anomaly!!

Bobby

_________________________
I'm healing now, and I wasn't sure I would.




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#200740 - 01/22/08 12:51 PM Re: whoda thunk? [Re: Bobby]
froggy12 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/06
Posts: 527
Loc: Marlboro, MA 01752

"Oh well, it went up to 20 F, the pond is frozen, so I donned my wooly cap, put on my ice skates and went zipping across the ice.
I stopped and thought "what sort of Currier & Ives crap is this? I'm cold!" So I went back into the ooze were it was warmer and sane frogs ought to stay."

- excerpt from "Froggy Goes Delusional - Redux"
PG, illustrated.

ribbit

_________________________
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#200847 - 01/23/08 07:06 AM Re: whoda thunk? [Re: froggy12]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Froggy,

Nice poem. And you are so right. The one thing we can never give up is our hope. There were so many times it felt like that was all I had left, and it got me through.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#203096 - 02/01/08 10:07 PM Re: whoda thunk? [Re: roadrunner]
froggy12 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/06
Posts: 527
Loc: Marlboro, MA 01752
Anybody figure out "intrinsic disorder?" The fear, the shame, the threats, the hurts (physical and mental), the self-loathing, the isolation, self destruction which all lead to:
Sliding down the razor blade of life

_________________________
??

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#203099 - 02/01/08 10:18 PM Re: whoda thunk? [Re: froggy12]
froggy12 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/06
Posts: 527
Loc: Marlboro, MA 01752
head first, arms out stretched, screaming: Take Me!
and it doesn't happen.
I am found, revived and I ask why?
I am told, "Well, kiddo, you still have some hope in there so you're gonna get another chance, so go share the news."

So I went and I did.
I am waiting for the results.

It seems like a long wait at times,
yet then it goes by fast
still waiting, still trying to share
and I wonder to myself "is it worth it?"
I say yes, but still wonder but figure
that's better than not wondering.

So I do it one day at a time with a touch of lunacy!

So there you have it, a frog who is a lunatic.

ribbit

_________________________
??

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#203454 - 02/04/08 01:50 AM Re: whoda thunk? [Re: froggy12]
John Ireland Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/02
Posts: 155
Loc: Chicago
YOU ROCK!!! & i AM akindred spirit who WILL NEVER FIT "the NORM"... oh so much energy here & more...

wanna know why?

always dream~~~dare~~~dive, john :):):)


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