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#203269 - 02/03/08 01:33 AM Question re therapy
arronb Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/02/08
Posts: 1005
Loc: Perth
I have had an interesting day reading many posts and can see that maybe therapy would have some benefits for me. However my previous experience with therapy left a lot to be desired.

My abuse stopped when I was 16, I spent the next 18 yrs repressing all thoughts of it & denying that it ever happened.

So at 34 I thought I had hit rock bottom and decided to seek some help. Unfortunately therapy seemed only to sink me further into the mire. I would leave sessions feeling like the abuse was still going on, the memories were so vivid I was actually feeling pain. I regressed to point where I ended up in hospital, and finally decided I could no longer go to therapy as it was destroying me.
That was nearly 10 yrs ago & now I realise, or maybe I wanna think, that the therapist I was seeing wasn't best qualified to deal with me.

What I wanna ask is - does all therapy lead to point where you actually relive the abuse ?

I don't think I could cope with therapy if that was the case.



Edited by arronb (02/03/08 01:36 AM)
_________________________
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arronb

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#203297 - 02/03/08 07:10 AM Re: Question re therapy [Re: arronb]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
arronb,

Unfortunately, there are therapists out there who should never be working with survivors of sexual abuse. If you felt like therapy was pulling you into a reliving of the abuse, that's terrible and a sign that the T did not know what he was doing. It was a good thing you got out of that situation.

A T experienced with CSA issues will try to set you at ease and help you through your issues with the least new pain and trauma. He/she will also try to get to know you first and set you at ease. It's important to do that, so you will feel able to communicate with the T when you feel something is going wrong. That clearly didn't happen the first time around.

Have you seen Ken Singer's article here on the site about choosing a therapist? He has lots of good ideas and if you follow his suggestions you will be able to identify a T who can really help you.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#203300 - 02/03/08 07:47 AM Re: Question re therapy [Re: roadrunner]
arronb Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/02/08
Posts: 1005
Loc: Perth
Hello Larry

Thanks so much for pointing me to that article, it's enlightened me no end, in fact I feel a bit stupid for not knowing some of things mentioned there.

_________________________
Keep Smilin'
arronb

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#203302 - 02/03/08 08:38 AM Re: Question re therapy [Re: arronb]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
arronb,

There's nothing to feel stupid about, bro. How were you to know? You had one experience in therapy and it wasn't a good one, so of course you have doubts about what to do now. What's important is that you spoke up about it and asked for the help you need.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#203325 - 02/03/08 11:47 AM Re: Question re therapy [Re: roadrunner]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16265
Arron,

I agree with Larry's statements. One thing to note is that most of us have not always found our own recovery and/or therapy to be a walk through the park. It can be quite painful emotionally, but the T is there to lighten that load and provide you with understanding and a solid base from which to work the recovery. If it hadn't been for the therapist I went to I shudder to think where I'd have ended up. If the T isn't providing that he/she shouldn't be taking on a male SA survivor.

I'm glad the article was helpful. I wish you the very best in your search for a therapist that has what you need.

Lots of love,

John

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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#203326 - 02/03/08 11:50 AM Re: Question re therapy [Re: roadrunner]
KENKEN Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/25/07
Posts: 762
Loc: NOTHERN COLORADO
arronb,

As Larry said, don't feel stupid. I can only tell you from my healing process that w/out my T, I would still be a "basket case".

It took me only 2 visits to really feel I could trust my T. He now knows everything about me and his direction for me is helping me cope and rediscover so much about SA of almost 50 some years ago.

Try to find a T you can trust and that will be a great start on your road to recovery and healing.

Ken

_________________________
I AM A GOOD PERSON, I AM A GOOD MAN

From the Movie: Antwone Fisher

***WOR ALUMNI SEQUOIA MARCH 2008***

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