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#2033 - 06/11/05 05:35 AM double life (probably triggers)
24yearsandcounting Offline
Member

Registered: 11/05/04
Posts: 44
I don't lead one, but I know someone that does. She really gets off being both things. On the outset a do everything mom, at home a pedifile, prostitute, drug addict, etc. I know she was abused as a kid too, and that had something to do w/ her choices in life.
What have you people done to not repeat what happened to you?
This person wants it all, -she wants things 200% gets a rush out of living both lifestyles at once. She made a differance for me once, then when I got to know her, all that went down the toilet, and everything I've learned since then has been on my own. I've held it together hoping I'd find something about her that is true, good, and can turn away from the dark side etc, but she is stuck on her double standard lifestyle. She commits some serious crimes, then condemns them excusing herself w/ when other people do the same thing. It's got to be some kind of personality, superiority, issue.
Anyway, back on topic:
How have you people learned to break the cycle of abuse in your lives?

_________________________
24yearsandcounting

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#2034 - 06/11/05 05:44 AM Re: double life (probably triggers)
Soccer Kid Offline
Member

Registered: 10/22/04
Posts: 273
Loc: Missouri


_________________________
~Zach~
Deviant of Many Talents

"Reality is just an illusion."

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#2035 - 06/11/05 05:50 AM Re: double life (probably triggers)
EGL Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/19/04
Posts: 7821
Quote:
Originally posted by 24yearsandcounting:
I don't lead one, but I know someone that does. She really gets off being both things. On the outset a do everything mom, at home a pedifile, prostitute, drug addict, etc.
Have you reported her to the local authorities so they can rescue the children who are being abused by her?

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Eddie

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#2036 - 06/11/05 05:52 AM Re: double life (probably triggers)
Soccer Kid Offline
Member

Registered: 10/22/04
Posts: 273
Loc: Missouri


_________________________
~Zach~
Deviant of Many Talents

"Reality is just an illusion."

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#2037 - 06/11/05 12:14 PM Re: double life (probably triggers)
Leosha Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 3614
Loc: Right here
I believe you have posted once before of this situation, of how this person is abusing both her children, and continues because no one has done anything to stop her. That is more then a pedophile. It is a child molester.

Quote:
Originally posted by 24yearsandcounting:

Anyway, back on topic:
How have you people learned to break the cycle of abuse in your lives?
Frankly, for me, it is quite simple. The abuse, physical, emotional, verbal, and sexual, totally has f*ed me up for quite some time. I am aware of it, and dealing with it. But never would I be so inhuman and beyond redemption to fathom f*ing up another person, specially a child. I do not mean to sound superior or perfect, God knows I am neither. But to 'break the cycle', it just is a 'no brainer' for me. I can not imagine to continue it. I can find my power and strength and control in life in much better and other ways.

Leosha

_________________________
Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963

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#2038 - 06/12/05 03:32 AM Re: double life (probably triggers)
24yearsandcounting Offline
Member

Registered: 11/05/04
Posts: 44
I'm not going to royally screw up my life by getting jammed up by dirty cops or govenment officials or whatever. I've learned that she has a extended history of this and she is still free to this day. The boys she has molested before have grown up. To me, they are obviously out of whack. One has had phobia about going outside, one girl is anorexic, although that might not have anything to do w/ it, but I wouldn't be surprised if their was a connection. Rumors and etc, on and on, all true I'll bet. I'm sure the cops and others know already, just waiting to stomp on the first person to talk. Unfortunately I've got a feeling she will walk and go on to commit worse crimes against humanity. I'm not going to get slammed by this. She can really put on a real, honest to God show of being a pillar of the community, I had hoped that she could embrace that, not abuse her position. Little late for that, but now she has a bunch of corrupted people on her side also into the same junk.

"watch your thoughts because they become actions" I've heard of some definitions of a pedifile that include the desire to have sex with minors, so watch what you think already.

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24yearsandcounting

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#2039 - 06/12/05 05:08 AM Re: double life (probably triggers)
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11187
Loc: Denver, CO
"It simply means they have a sexual interest in children, it's when they act on it that it becomes a problem."

A sexual interest in children already strikes me as something someone would not want in the first place. Having something someone does not want makes it a problem already.

_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

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#2040 - 06/12/05 05:11 AM Re: double life (probably triggers)
Soccer Kid Offline
Member

Registered: 10/22/04
Posts: 273
Loc: Missouri


_________________________
~Zach~
Deviant of Many Talents

"Reality is just an illusion."

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#2041 - 06/12/05 06:49 AM Re: double life (probably triggers)
parttimecop Offline
Member

Registered: 03/05/04
Posts: 139
Quote:
Originally posted by Soccer Kid:
I've never had a desire to repeat my abuse in the sense you are talking about. The mere thought of me being a paedophile makes me want to vomit. I love kids, but at the same time am scared to death of them. They are odd creatures. I use the word "creatures" because they feel alien to me. I never was a child, maybe physically, but not emotionally. The thought that I could rob a child of that...no way.

I work with abused kids and I know what it does to them, I'm living it myself too you know? But how is the cycle broken? I don't know. I think being a weird sicko paedophile is a choice, I chose not to repeat my abuse, others may decide to repeat it. Could be confusion, could be a chemical thing and the fact they were abused is incidental. Who knows? If you figure it out though I'm sure the APA would love to hear from you heh.

I don't repeat my abuse, never had any desire to, but I do know people who may be repeating it, but I don't know for certain.
You have some very good points. I feel much the same as you do as far as children being alien creatures.

As far as repeating the cycle, one thing that goes through my head is "I have gone through it, I could not cause it to happen to another." If I ever thought I was going to do anything like that I would probably kill myself. This is not a suicide threat, it is just that if I got that low I would be at a point where that might be the most honorable action. I would hope to have just enough courage to do what is most right.

Like you I don't know why I never went that path. God's grace may be my best answer. I was abused and I don't have much of a social life. So some ingrediants are there. But the pure evil require to so use another is not there. I am not saying I am a good man as I have some bad qualities, just that I am not evil enough to abuse a child. I would rather be hurt myself. At least then I know I am capable of dealing with the hurt.


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#2042 - 06/13/05 07:43 AM Re: double life (probably triggers)
ShyBear Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/08/05
Posts: 149
Loc: The American South
Quote:
Soccer Kid wrote ~ ... I don't like paedophiles...but...
Who are you rationalizing for, Zach ? Who are you defending ? Who are you justifying, or excusing ?


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