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#203341 - 02/03/08 01:14 PM Re: To me, being gay means ......... [Re: Jarrad]
Jarrad Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/27/06
Posts: 1071
Loc: arizona
laz, totally agree about the promiscuity thing. men. by nature, are designed to stick it in something as offen as he can to release. women are designed to do it pop out babies. (cringe) so when you have a group of guys who all are walking around looking for some place to stick it, it will happen a lot more. and to dwell on a sterotype that we are creative, we get pretty creative in where and how we stick it in. also, for a while, there was little consquence. ie.. two guys can make a baby. there is no long term baggage of quick sex. that of course, changed with the whole AIDS thing, and i think guys are still adapting to a new safe way to have sex. not saying we wont still have as much sex with as many different people as possible, but it's just more protected.

and since we are talking about this, did i mention we idolize cock? we are, as a whole, looking for the next best cock to experience. it terrible, but i remember guys more by thier cock than their names. so since we are on this quest for the perfect cock, we have to try them all out along the way.


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#203343 - 02/03/08 01:23 PM Re: To me, being gay means ......... [Re: Jarrad]
Lazarus Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/01/07
Posts: 851
Loc: Below the radar, USA
I never meant to say that women don't like sex (although I never thought so until late in life) the whole pregnancy thing definately forces them to be more careful and selective than guys. That's completely understandable. And yes, now we have to be more careful too, which makes monogamy and same sex marriage all the more important, eh?

Who are you saying lusts after cock? LOL OK, well that would be me too... So many men, so little time. Do straight men have as much a fascination with their own penises as we do about ours?

Just curious...

Lazarus

_________________________
"That which does not kill us, surely makes us stonger." - Neitsche

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#203483 - 02/04/08 08:38 AM Re: To me, being gay means ......... [Re: Lazarus]
cbfull Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/26/07
Posts: 386
Loc: Ohio
I while back I came to the conclusion that to me, being gay (or coming out of the closet) meant the conscious swearing off of trying to find women sexually appealing. That's pretty much the only "choice" I see involved with being gay.

I like what you guys are saying here, but I have to admit I am getting annoyed with people posting their thoughts and then quickly deleting them. What's more annoying, are the references to that post that come in the days that follow. If you are going to reference someone else's posts, do it right and quote them so the part you are referring to doesn't get deleted. It makes it very hard to follow these threads when we don't use the tools provided to us for effective communication.

Sorry if that's a bit of a rant, please don't take offense (sorry Jarrad, but I know you will appreciate and support my honesty).

Craig

_________________________
Craig

Guilt and shame have never done any of us any good at all.

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#203486 - 02/04/08 09:11 AM Re: To me, being gay means ......... [Re: cbfull]
Jarrad Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/27/06
Posts: 1071
Loc: arizona
craig, i agree about deleting posts. krayoss's post was fabulous and it's not here this morning. for quoting guys, my quick quotes dont work. it just quotes the whole post not isolating sections so im proabbly retarded but i dont know how to just quote a section of it. so i dont \:\)


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#203487 - 02/04/08 09:22 AM Re: To me, being gay means ......... [Re: Jarrad]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2502
Loc: Denver, CO
quote copies the whole thing for me too - i think that's the way it works. what i do is just remove the parts i didn't want to quote. you just gotta make sure you leave the [ quote] and [ /quote] tags

m


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#203490 - 02/04/08 09:23 AM Re: To me, being gay means ......... [Re: MarkK]
Jarrad Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/27/06
Posts: 1071
Loc: arizona
yeah.. that invovles work. haha.


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#203491 - 02/04/08 09:24 AM Re: To me, being gay means ......... [Re: Jarrad]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2502
Loc: Denver, CO
oooooooooooops.
my bad

;\)


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#203494 - 02/04/08 09:52 AM Re: To me, being gay means ......... [Re: MarkK]
VLinvictus Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/05/07
Posts: 273
Loc: NY
I make a distinction between "gay" and "homosexual."

"Homosexual" refers to a natural biological state, that a person's sexual response is wired to respond to his or her own sex as opposed to the opposite sex. Everyone is different and seems to have different wiring systems -- some people's wiring seems to change over the course of their life. I do not pretend to know what causes it, but I know that I have never felt an automatic, natural sexual response to a woman, yet from a very early age I was conscious of a response to men. Other people feel varying proportions of attraction to both sexes. The exact border is probably different for each person, but I would say that a person for whom the majority of his sexual response is directed at the same sex is "homosexual."

"Gay," to me, is a socially-constructed identity. "Gay" would have no meaning in a society that did not place moral values on opposite-sex relations and condemn same-sex relations as "immoral" or "unnatural" or "disordered" (all high-sounding synonyms of "icky"). Under this paradigm, anything that differs from the established norm is wrong and must be suppressed, change, or hidden. Those who are different must change or live in shame or secrecy. A person who is "gay" is a person of homosexual orientation who rejects this paradigm and accepts that his sexuality is natural and an integral part of his identity. A gay man is a man who accepts his attraction to other other men and acts on it without shame or fear in defiance of the hegemonic cultural paradigm that stigmatizes non-straight relations.

Most people tend to fluctuate or have varying degrees of attraction responses to both genders and are thus by nature and orientation "bisexual," yet only those who accept and acknowledge their double-sided attraction and integrate it into the totality of their personality are "bi." A person who is naturally bisexual may also identify as "gay" or "straight" depending on which aspect of his sexuality he chooses to adopt as his primary sexual identity.

Presumably, should human society ever evolve to the point where each human being would be free to form sexual unions and loving partnerships with whomever they wish regardless of sex or gender identity without any fear of social stigma or condemnation or violence or oppression, then "gay" would cease to have any meaning.

_________________________
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
~ Oscar Wilde

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#203521 - 02/04/08 01:03 PM Re: To me, being gay means ......... [Re: VLinvictus]
MemoryVault Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/01/07
Posts: 693
Loc: NJ
We’ve all got ideas of what being gay is, but what it means is a much more personal and interesting question.

Being gay to me means living off the grid. Even in the 21st century, we’re still the embodiment of the worst thing you can call a teenage boy – the one insult guaranteed to start a fight. We’re still faced with a basic anomie—one you’ve broken the “ultimate taboo,” this society doesn’t much care whether you’re committed or promiscuous, fulfilled or destructive, celebratory or depressed.

That’s changing, of course, especially now that we’ve been discovered as a niche market—we’re courted and sold to, offered acceptance and inclusion at the price of being told how to live, where to travel, and what to buy. (Basically, there are two types of gay media: the type that gushes about how wonderful we are, and the type that suggests that we'd be a lot more wonderful if we all wore Prada.)

But I’ll always treasure that little anarchic glow… I love the way our relationships morph and shift beyond categories. One night stands become flings, which become romances, friendships, spiritual connections, partnerships or nothing at all. The dice keep rolling. Being gay means being at the crossroads of endless possibilities—chances to invent and reinvent what it means to love and desire. Maybe we’re the last men who get to look at another man with no>

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#203525 - 02/04/08 01:20 PM Re: To me, being gay means ......... [Re: MemoryVault]
VLinvictus Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/05/07
Posts: 273
Loc: NY
MV,

I agree most heartily. That is a good expression of what I meant about "gay" being an identity in defiance of the hegemonic paradigm.

I think the ideal situation, at the full flowering of human freedom, would be when everyone -- homosexual and heterosexual and everything in between -- will have the freedom to be "gay" as you define it, to roll the dice and explore those endless possibilities of which you have so eloquently written.

As is so often case, the dominant group which in theory defines the basic paradigm of society -- straight people -- are in actuality the most oppressed in terms of their sexual freedom. Nobody asks straight people what being straight means because they do not actually know -- it's something imposed on them from society and religion and culture and internalized by them without thought and question.



Edited by VLinvictus (02/04/08 02:19 PM)
_________________________
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
~ Oscar Wilde

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