Newest Members
cricket1007, Nickie98, jahfree, Daryl X., tryintothrive
12496 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
joeybird (54), ladyinwaiting (46), txpearl (46)
Who's Online
3 registered (jahfree, lapchinj, Rich1967), 14 Guests and 6 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12496 Members
74 Forums
64163 Topics
447753 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >
Topic Options
#202947 - 01/31/08 10:20 PM Starting Therapy
Dude. Offline
Guest

Registered: 01/26/08
Posts: 106
Loc: USA
My first session is Wednesday. What can I expect? This therapist only works with victims of sexual abuse.


Top
#202949 - 01/31/08 10:35 PM Re: Starting Therapy [Re: Dude.]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
If he/she is good they will make you feel safe and comfortable so you can talk.
R


Top
#202951 - 01/31/08 10:46 PM Re: Starting Therapy [Re: Freedom49]
KENKEN Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/25/07
Posts: 762
Loc: NOTHERN COLORADO
Don't feel you have to tell your entire story on your first session.

It was important for me to feel I was safe and that I could trust. This is your session and you can go at your own speed.

I am glad you are getting professional help. It was a big step for me, but it sure was worth it. My T is awesome, I would not be this far alone in my journey without him.

You are doing the right thing. We are all here for you.

_________________________
I AM A GOOD PERSON, I AM A GOOD MAN

From the Movie: Antwone Fisher

***WOR ALUMNI SEQUOIA MARCH 2008***

Top
#202952 - 01/31/08 10:51 PM Re: Starting Therapy [Re: Dude.]
Dude. Offline
Guest

Registered: 01/26/08
Posts: 106
Loc: USA
Do you guy's think she will put me on anti-depressants. I looked for a female therapist. I feel more comfortable talking to women.


Top
#202953 - 01/31/08 10:57 PM Re: Starting Therapy [Re: Dude.]
Paul1959 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/17/06
Posts: 525
Loc: NYC
Only MD's or Psychiatrists can put you on meds. Is she one of those? Otherwise, she can set you up with a psychiatrist if she thinks you might need meds.
Glad you're going to a T. This journey is almost impossible without one.
Paul


Top
#202954 - 01/31/08 11:01 PM Re: Starting Therapy [Re: Dude.]
ericc Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/04/08
Posts: 1977
Someone correct me if I am wrong, but I don't think a therapist can get you on any medications. She could direct you to a psychiatrist who could. My guess is she will be more interested in talking with you and getting to know you?

Are you wanting to be on anti-depressants, or are you afraid she will want to put you on them? My guess is that wouldn't be the area of emphasis right away. The fact that you might be depressed given what you have been through I think she would understand that.


Top
#202956 - 01/31/08 11:08 PM Re: Starting Therapy [Re: ericc]
Dude. Offline
Guest

Registered: 01/26/08
Posts: 106
Loc: USA
Originally Posted By: ericc
Someone correct me if I am wrong, but I don't think a therapist can get you on any medications. She could direct you to a psychiatrist who could. My guess is she will be more interested in talking with you and getting to know you?

Are you wanting to be on anti-depressants, or are you afraid she will want to put you on them? My guess is that wouldn't be the area of emphasis right away. The fact that you might be depressed given what you have been through I think she would understand that.


We talked about anti-depressants over the phone (I bought it up) and she said we would talk about it. I was on wellbutrin about 15 months ago for about 2 months. It did seem to make me calm.


Top
#202957 - 01/31/08 11:17 PM Re: Starting Therapy [Re: Dude.]
ericc Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/04/08
Posts: 1977
Okay. Paul verified what I thought. She could direct you to a psychiatrist would could do that if she thought it was a good idea. I think no matter what, as you are able to deal with the overwhelming of emotions you have that a lot of that stuff will get better. But getting on something if it seemed appropriate might help along the way.


Top
#202958 - 01/31/08 11:24 PM Re: Starting Therapy [Re: ericc]
LandOfShadow Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/11/07
Posts: 684
Loc: Minneapolis, Minnesota USA
Hey, good deal. That's great.

_________________________
Et par le pouvoir d’un mot Je recommence ma vie, Je suis né pour te connaître, Pour te nommer
Liberté

And by the power of a single word I can begin my life again, I was born to know you, to name you
Freedom

Paul Eluard

Top
#202985 - 02/01/08 02:24 AM Re: Starting Therapy [Re: LandOfShadow]
Minute2Minute Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/11/08
Posts: 70
Loc: MB, Canada
Way to go Dude! You'll be glad you took this step. The hardest part of seeing a therapist was getting there the first time. Once I was there, I couldn't stop myself. Of course, everyone is different, but I went there with the mindset that this person was there to listen to me and could help me. At the time, the floodgates were open so to speak, and I couldn't hold back any longer. It may be different for you. What I did notice, after my next visit, was that he did make me feel safe and comfortable enough to discuss my issues. I'm not totally convinced that this guy is the right one for me, but at least I'm not as afraid of talking to a professional anymore.

As for the anti-depressants, I've been on Paxil for 10 years. They made me "feel" better, but they did nothing for healing. I needed help with that. I didn't get that help when I first went on them. And, now that I've been on them for so long, getting off them is potentially worse than why I went on them in the first place. Because of the intense emotional upheaval of trying to deal with my abuse, I don't really think they're doing a damn thing for me right now. My doctor wanted to increase my dosage (which I refused) because I don't want to have a false sense of feeling "better". I need to know that I'm working through the pain, the shame, the self-loathing, the sadness, the anger, and every other feeling I have. You're therapist will help you make a decision that is in YOUR best interests. Allow her to help you make that decision.

Again, congratulations on finding a therapist. It's another step forward to a healed you.

Take care and good luck with your first session,
SCOTT


Top
#202990 - 02/01/08 03:17 AM Re: Starting Therapy [Re: Dude.]
GateKPR4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/28/07
Posts: 955
Loc: North Carolina, USA
Originally Posted By: Dude.
Do you guy's think she will put me on anti-depressants. I looked for a female therapist. I feel more comfortable talking to women.


Congrats on getting a therapist. My T is female also. I chose a woman for the same reason. Still took me a while to really open up about the abuse. But when I did she helped me get through all the disinformation floating around my mind. I have been seeing her for over 2 years now and we have made wonderful progress.

I have a psychiatrist that prescribes my medications. I take and anti-depressant and something for anxiety. Both medications have helped me through some really rough times. Right now I'm on a low dose of each, about 1/3 of what I used to be on.

Sometimes we need medications sometimes we don't, it all depends on how severe the abuse affects our daily life.

For me it's a must right now but in the long term I may be able to go even lower on the dose and sometime in the future of medication completely.
I wish you well on your journey of recovery.

_________________________
I'm a normal person dealing with abnormal experiences.
The greatest discoveries we will find within ourselves.
Ricky
__m_ô¿ô_m__
|| || || || || || |

Top
#202993 - 02/01/08 03:39 AM Re: Starting Therapy [Re: GateKPR4]
frost Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/15/07
Posts: 1377
Loc: Eh?
Dude,

In terms of what to expect, I would recommend going into it without any expectations!

I had a really tough time getting in the door for my first therapy session. I never bonded well with my first therapist. My second therapist, however, established more trust with me in my first session than my first therapist had managed in 6 months. I hope it will be a good experience. If this therapist only works with male sexual abuse survivors, chances are she knows what she's doing and has a high level of expertise in the area.

Also, before you go have a read over Ken Singer's "Consumer's Guide to Therapist Shopping" (http://www.malesurvivor.org/consumers-guide.html) which is a tremendously helpful article that will give you practical advice on guidance for identifying if you've got the right therapist for you.

This is an important step, and again, I hope it will be a truly rewarding experience for you. Good job for making the appointment!

~Brian

_________________________
Boom!

Top
#203007 - 02/01/08 09:32 AM Re: Starting Therapy [Re: frost]
weapher Offline
Guest

Registered: 12/10/07
Posts: 60
Loc: Oregon
I agree totally with frost. No expectations. Since the path we all go down during this healing process is different the expectations will be different.

I guess there is one thing you should expect... That this process is worth all of the time you are going to put into it...

keep going

weapher


btw... my T is a female also that specializes in CSA.

_________________________
Facing the struggle makes you strong.

Top
#203024 - 02/01/08 01:38 PM Re: Starting Therapy [Re: weapher]
Dewey2k Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/22/05
Posts: 3069
Good for you on getting in to see a T, Dude. A huge step right there.

One thing to keep in mind... two things actually... okay, three:

Remember you are in charge. You have every right to stay there or walk out the door no matter what. Having said that...

Part of a T's job is to challenge us to think about things we don't want to think about, and to point out things that we don't want to see.

Give yourself the time to get to know your T, and let her get to know you. As was said above, you don't have to dump your whole story the first visit. You don't even have to go into the details as long as she has enough information to work with.


Top
#203083 - 02/01/08 08:29 PM Re: Starting Therapy [Re: Dewey2k]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Dude,

I want to comment a bit on something Dwayne says that's VERY important:

Originally Posted By: Dewey2k
Give yourself the time to get to know your T, and let her get to know you. As was said above, you don't have to dump your whole story the first visit. You don't even have to go into the details as long as she has enough information to work with.


We ALL feared that first session, probably because we were expecting to be trashed, blamed or judged in some way. That won't happen. Your T is experienced in these issues and will know how nervous you will be. She won't sit you down and begin with a lot of triggery gross-out questions. More likely she will want to get to know you and begin working on the establishment of trust.

How fast you get into the rough stuff will be up to you. It's good to press yourself a bit, take some risks and trust your T, but if at any time you feel you are getting into territory you can't handle yet, just say so. The T will be glad to have the input. After all, her job is to guide you through the minefield with the least possible new pain and trauma.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#203135 - 02/02/08 08:50 AM Re: Starting Therapy [Re: roadrunner]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16265
Dude,

Like one of the other guys said, getting to the T for the first time is the hardest. I worked myself into a Migraine stressing about it but oh, did it ever feel good to get there, be heard, and know that I was believed! It was well worth the stress and fretting I had to do to make it there.

You're the driver in a lot of ways when it comes to your journey in therapy. With the T's help you'll be allowed to talk about stuff when and as you are ready to. If she's good she'll steer you the directions you need to go, but it's your journey and she will understand that.

Good wishes as you start this path.

Lots of love,

John

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

Top
#203264 - 02/02/08 11:11 PM Re: Starting Therapy [Re: WalkingSouth]
Dude. Offline
Guest

Registered: 01/26/08
Posts: 106
Loc: USA
What will she do? Listen to me and give me advice?


Top
#203276 - 02/03/08 02:19 AM Re: Starting Therapy [Re: Dude.]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16265
Initially she'll probably just want to get acquainted. She'll want to hear what you feel you need or want to say. Her goal will probably be to make you feel as comfortable and confident that she can be trusted and that she actually hears what you're saying and affirms that it's real.

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

Top
#203334 - 02/03/08 12:46 PM Re: Starting Therapy [Re: WalkingSouth]
Lazarus Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/01/07
Posts: 851
Loc: Below the radar, USA
Dude,

The best Therapists listen and ask questions. The important part is that they ask the RIGHT questions, the ones that will help you figure out the answers for yourself. One word of advice; in order to ask the right questions, your T has to know everything. Anything you hide, anything you withhold from them is only doing a disservice to you. Be honest with your T.

Good luck!

Lazarus

_________________________
"That which does not kill us, surely makes us stonger." - Neitsche

Top
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.