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#202671 - 01/30/08 08:21 PM Reported My Abuser Today
Calanthe Offline
New Here

Registered: 01/24/08
Posts: 109
Loc: California
Today I sent a letter to the leaders of the Mormon Church reporting a sexual predator who sexual and spiritually abused me 25 years ago, when I was a young man.

I arrived at this decision after speaking to two attorneys and running up against the statue of limitations issue. Both these attorneys have experience in litigating sexual abuse cases against the Mormon Church.

Right now I feel more freedom around this issue than I have felt in 25 years. I truly did not expect to feel this way but hey I will take what comes. I felt like shit around this long enough.

Strong words but it still ties my stomach in knots to post on this site and be this open about my abuse. (Oh well I am new I will get used to it)

Cal

_________________________
You can't save your Ass and your Face at the same time. (Anonymous)

And given the choice I will save my ass first everytime(STC)

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#202682 - 01/30/08 08:35 PM Re: Reported My Abuser Today [Re: Calanthe]
Ken Singer, LCSW Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/24/00
Posts: 5780
Loc: Lambertville, NJ USA
Good for you. It may spare some child abuse by the person. Also, it breaks the secret the abuser made you keep. In any event, it can only help in your healing.

Ken


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#202684 - 01/30/08 08:36 PM Re: Reported My Abuser Today [Re: Calanthe]
theatrekid Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/03/07
Posts: 702
Loc: oregon
I wish you the best of luck, I have two very close friends who were abused by people that are leaders in the mormon church. Good Luck you should be proud of your self for coming out so strongly

Christopher


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#202693 - 01/30/08 09:05 PM Re: Reported My Abuser Today [Re: theatrekid]
scotia1 Offline
Guest

Registered: 05/27/07
Posts: 81
Good for you Cal, and welcome, you are among friends and fellow survivors that understand.

Scotia


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#202702 - 01/30/08 09:34 PM Re: Reported My Abuser Today [Re: scotia1]
AndyJB2005 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/14/06
Posts: 1245
Loc: Saint Paul, Minnesota
Good, I'm glad you're sticking up for yourself, Cal. You deserve to confront this man. I hope you get what you're looking for. \:\)

Good luck, friend. \:\)

_________________________
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words. -- Calvin (Calvin and Hobbes)

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#202742 - 01/31/08 06:40 AM Re: Reported My Abuser Today [Re: AndyJB2005]
buzz_key Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/31/07
Posts: 635
Loc: USA
Cal,

I admire your courage. I commend you for taking the power back!

buzz


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#202770 - 01/31/08 09:11 AM Re: Reported My Abuser Today [Re: buzz_key]
mvnforwrd Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/05/07
Posts: 216
Loc: NJ
Cal,
I think it is great courage to do what you are doing. Keep focused and find strength for the road will be rough. If this perp is still active and has a chance to harm anyone else you will find comfort knowing you spoke up...

mvn4wrd

_________________________
Take your foot out of yesterday and your other foot out of tomorro or you will keep pissing allover today!

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#202783 - 01/31/08 09:51 AM Re: Reported My Abuser Today [Re: mvnforwrd]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6602
Loc: FEMA Region 1
Nice move!!!!

If you cc that letter to the media, the church is a LOT less likely to ball it up and throw it in the trash. Just a little trick I've used a LOT in civil and political battles. Once I cc-ed the Governor of NH on a letter....the governor himself called me to appologize for his state workers screwing up in negligence. I then got calls from people all over telling me that the stuff that was F'd-up was bening fixed as we spoke. But you gotta include the "cc" cites on the letter you send to the church.

_________________________
I'm "that guy."

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#202812 - 01/31/08 12:34 PM Re: Reported My Abuser Today [Re: Still]
alexey Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 08/16/05
Posts: 1674
Loc: Moscow, Russia
Glad for you!

Take care.
Alexey

_________________________
(\__/)
(='.'=)
E[:]|||||[:]3
(")_(")
--------
When you feel all alone and unhappy, turn to you Inner Child and talk to Him.
You will see He can comfort you like nothing else!

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#202836 - 01/31/08 02:52 PM Re: Reported My Abuser Today [Re: Calanthe]
Calanthe Offline
New Here

Registered: 01/24/08
Posts: 109
Loc: California
I want to thank everyone for their support and comments.

I am in an exciting and scary process and I did not want to do it a lone and I am glad to find another level of support on this site.

Thanks

Cal


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#202849 - 01/31/08 03:34 PM Re: Reported My Abuser Today [Re: Calanthe]
alphabravo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/07
Posts: 56
Loc: Boston, MA
Cal,

You Go Man!!!! I hope this man never hurts another person. You are an inspiration. I wish you much strength and love.

Thomas

_________________________
Its not how far you fall, its how you land.

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#203010 - 02/01/08 09:43 AM Re: Reported My Abuser Today [Re: alphabravo]
weapher Offline
Guest

Registered: 12/10/07
Posts: 60
Loc: Oregon
GOOD! I hope he rots away in a cell and his eyes get eaten out by rats....sorry, not sure where that came from.

weapher

_________________________
Facing the struggle makes you strong.

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#203065 - 02/01/08 05:26 PM Re: Reported My Abuser Today [Re: weapher]
ScottyTodd Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 02/12/03
Posts: 1561
Loc: Pennsylvania
Hey, Cal, let me join n congratulating you on this important step in your recovery! I hope more boys and men follow your example and stop these guys who hurt victims and ruin lives!! Thank you for your courage!!!!!

Howard

_________________________
If you think you can or you can't - you're right!.......anon
It's never too late to have a happy childhood!.....anon
You're very normal for the abnormal situation you've been through..............S. Todd

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#203082 - 02/01/08 08:19 PM Re: Reported My Abuser Today [Re: ScottyTodd]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Cal,

Regardless of what results your letter produces in the legal arena, you have spoken out and broken the silence. That itself is a hugely empowering step. Everything you are doing to reclaim your life is a way of asserting your innocence as a boy and your refusal to be shamed and silenced any longer. Good for you.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#203139 - 02/02/08 09:01 AM Re: Reported My Abuser Today [Re: roadrunner]
WalkingSouth Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/30/05
Posts: 16265
Cal,

Your courage is very laudable. Thank-you. Not everyone finds they can take this step, and that's the path they need to follow, but for those of us who can speak out, BRAVO!

Lots of love,

John

_________________________
“Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting ‘Holy ____…! What a ride!’” ~Hunter S. Thompson

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