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#202588 - 01/30/08 01:26 PM The Stages of our Lives
Muldoon Offline

Registered: 05/30/02
Posts: 1428
Loc: St Paul MN
The Stages of our Lives

Could be triggering to think back on

I have been doing a lot of thinking about this in the past few weeks. I was wondering if you guys could help me out.

What I want to take away from this post is a good understanding of all the different stages of our lives from before the abuse, during the abuse, after the abuse and the stages of recover.

For me it was a happy life before the abuse

Much confusion during the abuse years

After the abuse it was a time of running from the effects, hiding in the silence, of a drug and alcohol induced state of mind.

Hiding in School, work, and family

The big crash down to the deep bottoms of despair

The search for a better way to live with this

Reaching out for help

Guess I can stop there for now even though there are many more stages of my life.

Any way let me know what your Stages have been.



Teach the Children to Never Hide in the Silence

#203181 - 02/02/08 12:29 PM Re: The Stages of our Lives [Re: Muldoon]
arronb Offline

Registered: 02/02/08
Posts: 1005
Loc: Perth
Hello Tom

Before abuse - don't remember really ... I've seen photo's and I looked happy LOL

During abuse - I came to the conclusion that some people (me) were put on this earth for others to abuse, so I suppose I came to some sort of acceptance that it was gonna happen.

After abuse -
Stage 1 - It never happened ... ignore it, deny it, avoid all contact with family.
Stage 2 - The crash ... my lifes a mess, why ???
Stage 3 - The never ending story ... trying to accept that I am different and it's not my fault.

Obviously stage 3 is an ongoing project with varying degrees of success LOL

Keep Smilin'

#203187 - 02/02/08 02:05 PM Re: The Stages of our Lives [Re: arronb]
DanM Offline

Registered: 11/09/07
Posts: 540
Loc: So. California

I have have also been thinking about this over the past few months, trying to figure out where am I at in my life.

For me, these are the stages that I can identify:

Pre-abuse (happy little kid)
Abuse (I didn't really know I was being abused)
Immediate post abuse (Shame,embarassment and low self-esteem)
Isolation and confusion period (16-25 yrs of age)
Withdrawl from feelings and displaying anger and rage (26-50)
Acknowledgement (Confronting abuse)(50)
Disclosure (50)
Recovery(on-going) (50-52)

It is the stages of recovery that I am uncertain with. I have read alot and I am trying to determine my current stage with my therapist, but he reluctant to say.

It is a long and mysterious journey we are on. I truly feel it is uncharted waters and I am waiting for a roque wave to me broad side.


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