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#202588 - 01/30/08 01:26 PM The Stages of our Lives
Muldoon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/30/02
Posts: 1428
Loc: St Paul MN
The Stages of our Lives

Could be triggering to think back on



I have been doing a lot of thinking about this in the past few weeks. I was wondering if you guys could help me out.


What I want to take away from this post is a good understanding of all the different stages of our lives from before the abuse, during the abuse, after the abuse and the stages of recover.


For me it was a happy life before the abuse

Much confusion during the abuse years

After the abuse it was a time of running from the effects, hiding in the silence, of a drug and alcohol induced state of mind.

Hiding in School, work, and family

The big crash down to the deep bottoms of despair

The search for a better way to live with this


Reaching out for help




Guess I can stop there for now even though there are many more stages of my life.


Any way let me know what your Stages have been.


Thanks


Tom

_________________________
Teach the Children to Never Hide in the Silence

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#203181 - 02/02/08 12:29 PM Re: The Stages of our Lives [Re: Muldoon]
arronb Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/02/08
Posts: 1005
Loc: Perth
Hello Tom

Before abuse - don't remember really ... I've seen photo's and I looked happy LOL

During abuse - I came to the conclusion that some people (me) were put on this earth for others to abuse, so I suppose I came to some sort of acceptance that it was gonna happen.

After abuse -
Stage 1 - It never happened ... ignore it, deny it, avoid all contact with family.
Stage 2 - The crash ... my lifes a mess, why ???
Stage 3 - The never ending story ... trying to accept that I am different and it's not my fault.

Obviously stage 3 is an ongoing project with varying degrees of success LOL

_________________________
Keep Smilin'
arronb

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#203187 - 02/02/08 02:05 PM Re: The Stages of our Lives [Re: arronb]
DanM Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/09/07
Posts: 540
Loc: So. California
Tom,

I have have also been thinking about this over the past few months, trying to figure out where am I at in my life.

For me, these are the stages that I can identify:

Pre-abuse (happy little kid)
Abuse (I didn't really know I was being abused)
Immediate post abuse (Shame,embarassment and low self-esteem)
Isolation and confusion period (16-25 yrs of age)
Withdrawl from feelings and displaying anger and rage (26-50)
Acknowledgement (Confronting abuse)(50)
Disclosure (50)
Recovery(on-going) (50-52)

It is the stages of recovery that I am uncertain with. I have read alot and I am trying to determine my current stage with my therapist, but he reluctant to say.

It is a long and mysterious journey we are on. I truly feel it is uncharted waters and I am waiting for a roque wave to me broad side.


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