Thanks Hauser, I am glad you found a way to make it stop. I guess the whole idea of magical thinking really is a survival tool as Roger labeled it. Either way, I am wondering about others who did that too as a way to barter and attempt to control their life that it would stop.The more I discover, the more I find relief but always think of everyone else too. Especially that even today I automatically reverted to it. Now that I understand it, I tend to dismiss it. Metaphorically it is a security blanket.
When you stumble, make it part of the dance.