Wow! I'm not sure you completely realize that what you did was unbelievably brave and courageous.
First, you are not alone, as you can see here. Second, you MUST get some counseling as soon as possible. When I finally started my healing journey after being silent for fourty years, I spent about three weeeks in tears. it is very painful. You have stirred up a lot of painful memories and all those old feelings are flooding over you.
Keep posting here, read these posts, you will see a lot of familiar thoughts and feelings.
You WILL be ok, but it is a long rough journey. But it is the only way to live.
Glad you found us and honored that you are sharing this journey with us