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#201253 - 01/25/08 04:04 AM "Echo"
blueshift Offline
Guest

Registered: 01/21/08
Posts: 1242
Loc: infinity
This limited access reality....
This censored version of myself....
Is this me?
This "fine, how are you, lovely weather we're having"...
This hum-drum nothing-to-see-here euphemism...
Is this me?
My face has smiled so many times...
But when was the last time I smiled?
Is anyone really convinced that this is me....
when I can't convince myself?
Is there anything left that could truly represent my life-essence
like the fading echo of a scream?

_________________________
My Story
My Art

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#201264 - 01/25/08 06:35 AM Re: "Echo" [Re: blueshift]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Blueshift,

I think you will find that most of us here have had or still have feelings like this. That's one of the great benefits of a place like this, though. We can throw off the masks and just be ourselves.

It's not easy, let me tell you! I know in my own case it never occurred to me that there might be anything genuinely "authentic" about me to discover. But it's an amazing feeling once we begin to do it.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#201344 - 01/25/08 04:01 PM Re: "Echo" [Re: roadrunner]
blueshift Offline
Guest

Registered: 01/21/08
Posts: 1242
Loc: infinity
It's funny.. people who know me describe me as a very genuine person, but yet i feel as though if i were really genuine i would be depressing and someone people don't want to be around.

_________________________
My Story
My Art

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#201392 - 01/25/08 09:07 PM Re: "Echo" [Re: blueshift]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
blueshift,

The reasons why you feel this way would emerge most clearly in therapy, but in many cases what's going on is that the survivor simply has a lot of negative feelings about himself - untrue feelings that originated in abuse and then survived into adulthood.

There are maybe 10-15 guys whom I met first on this site and then got to know in "real life". In almost every case they had a lot of these bad feelings about themselves, yet when I got to meet them in person they turned out to be some of the most interesting and worthwhile people I know.

And of course they noticed the same thing about me. Just goes to show how misleading and damaging these old false feelings can be.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#201954 - 01/28/08 03:05 AM Re: "Echo" [Re: roadrunner]
John Ireland Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/02
Posts: 155
Loc: Chicago
i invite YOU, blueshift to reveal YOUr genuine anytime... i KNOW i am just appearing here, but i KNOW EAXCTLY what YOU share...

i MUST FULLy dream~~~dare~~~dive NOW FOR ALL innocent children...


always dream~~~dare~~~dive, john :):):)





Edited by ModTeam (01/29/08 07:22 AM)

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