I think you will find that most of us here have had or still have feelings like this. That's one of the great benefits of a place like this, though. We can throw off the masks and just be ourselves.
It's not easy, let me tell you! I know in my own case it never occurred to me that there might be anything genuinely "authentic" about me to discover. But it's an amazing feeling once we begin to do it.
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me. (Woody Guthrie)