My world is crashing down around me. I found a small table spoon, like the one i remember my mom using to shoot up, next to a small straw that was cut in half, like people use to freebase heroin, and a small plastic container filled with a black substance that i cant quite identify, but could very well be a few hundred bucks worth of black tar herion. It was just lying there in the cabinet we keep all our glasses and pills in. How the hell could i have missed that for so long? I think my mom and/or her boyfriend are getting wasted on heroin, and if its him, then she knows.

Just a couple more months, then me and my friend will have saved enough money to leave together.

I have always felt like my reason for living was change my world into a better place. It was all i ever had to hope for. And i dont think thats ever going to change, because ill never forget the attrocities i've seen, and i dont want to live in a world where there is no hope for kids who are tortured by thier parents, people slaughter each other without thier deaths meaning anything, and i aspire to live in a world that is just and truly free. I help myself by creating a better world and striving to grow and change. Thats my reason for living, and its what has kept me alive in a what can be a very cruel world, and reminds me that it can be even more buetiful.

Thats all i really want to say right now. thanks for listening.

I hope you get out soon. I pray that you do.

Broken,

Your not responsible for them, for what they do and dont do, for how they live.

You are responsible for you and how you choose to live, and it sure sounds to me like you have a good attitude about it and that your slowly moving in the right direction, building your own world is a good idea, I like your outlook on that whole part of it all.

Keep hanging tough,, your gonna be out soon and that whole scene will just be a lousy memory.

John

I am praying for you and your situation.