Newest Members
RepressedMem, jet_step, JimHouston42, GKB, MorganWut
12468 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
AndyP (48), Gaius (50), JoziSA (52), mmafan66 (48), nltsaved (36), RMM (52), Steve63 (51), zenboy (51)
Who's Online
4 registered (traveler, JW1230, matt123, 1 invisible), 17 Guests and 5 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12468 Members
74 Forums
64027 Topics
446819 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >
Topic Options
#200573 - 01/21/08 02:02 PM dealing with cravings
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2503
Loc: Denver, CO
hey guys - how do you cope on those days when the desire to return to old habits/addictions gets so bad you can't concentrate? it's like i'm going thru withdrawal symptoms for every habit i've ever had. from smoking tobacco to weed, to sexual promiscuity, to porn.

is this a "normal" part of recovery? to have days where the brain just will NOT do anything but dwell on personal pleasure? i'm not knocking pleasure - it's just not typically an all-consuming mental glitch like it is today.

i have a class to teach in 30 minutes - i have got to get my act together. it's as if my desires are all hyped up on caffiene. but only that part of me. my physiology is tired and dragging, emotionally drained and depressed ...

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!


Top
#200589 - 01/21/08 03:46 PM Re: dealing with cravings [Re: MarkK]
alexey Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 08/16/05
Posts: 1674
Loc: Moscow, Russia
Sorry, Mark.

(( safe hugs ))

I have these days too. You are not alone. It is a part of recovery. Setbacks are known phenomena. Take care.

Alexey

_________________________
(\__/)
(='.'=)
E[:]|||||[:]3
(")_(")
--------
When you feel all alone and unhappy, turn to you Inner Child and talk to Him.
You will see He can comfort you like nothing else!

Top
#200592 - 01/21/08 03:52 PM Re: dealing with cravings [Re: alexey]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
Yes Mark this is normal you mind wants to cope with life in the old destructive ways. Replace those coping mechanisms with healthy new one. Walking, Running, coffee or dinner with friends get out in public and don't isolate yourself. Hope this helps.
Benn there hurt there, done that.

Roger


Top
#200600 - 01/21/08 04:46 PM Re: dealing with cravings [Re: Freedom49]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2503
Loc: Denver, CO
Originally Posted By: alexey
(( safe hugs ))

i wish there was such a thing...

Originally Posted By: Freedom49
don't isolate yourself

there's one of my biggest "coping mechanisms" ... pull away from people.

this stuff stinks.


m


Top
#200607 - 01/21/08 06:17 PM Re: dealing with cravings [Re: MarkK]
GateKPR4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/28/07
Posts: 955
Loc: North Carolina, USA
What Freedom49 said - we have to replace an old habit with a new one. Easier said than done. I have setbacks all the time but I keep on working on changing the behavior and sooner or later I have created a healthy way of coping.
My favorite is taking a walk down by the water or out in the woods.
Woodworking or fixing something on the house. Keeping busy when I have cravings takes my mind off of the craving and on whatever I'm doing.
You only need to make one mistake with a power tool to learn to pay attention.

_________________________
I'm a normal person dealing with abnormal experiences.
The greatest discoveries we will find within ourselves.
Ricky
__m_τΏτ_m__
|| || || || || || |

Top
#200613 - 01/21/08 06:46 PM Re: dealing with cravings [Re: GateKPR4]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2503
Loc: Denver, CO
keeping busy - that's VERY key for me also. just today being stuck at work i couldn't seem to find anything to get my mind on. i finally had the class to teach, and that (happily) got me back where i needed to be - but it was a ROUGH one today.

Originally Posted By: GateKPR4
You only need to make one mistake with a power tool to learn to pay attention.


** shudder ** This i know all too well ...

m


Top
#200617 - 01/21/08 07:06 PM Re: dealing with cravings [Re: MarkK]
PeaceSeeker Offline
New Here

Registered: 01/16/08
Posts: 11
I deal with very strong cravings most of the time.

I quit drinking and drugs almost 7 years ago, with the help of AA.

My deepest core issue and strongest craving is acting out sexually through porn, MB, and fantasy. I've been dealing with that in SLAA and SRA for months now, but it is truly kicking my butt. The longest I've gone yet is 12 days without MB, which was a miracle...I've compulsively MB'd around 5 times a day since maybe the age of 12, or even younger.

I'm triggered by anything and everything...anger, embarassment, happiness, numbness...if you can think of a state of mind, it triggers me.

What I'm starting to focus on is when I don't feel triggered. It usually happens when I feel loved, like I fit in, and that I'm not a bad person. Also acceptance helps - when I accept that I am who I am and I'm perfect just the way I am, and in the exact place in my recovery that I'm supposed to be in. Lastly, helping others, any kind of service, really helps. It gets me out of my head and helps me feel good about myself.

The main tool that gets me out of the cravings is stopping the isolation by reaching out. Isolation is my default mode...that's where I go as the path of least resistance. When I end it through making phone calls, reaching out to people that care about me, the cravings lose much of their power. But that can be very, very difficult for me to do.


Top
#200618 - 01/21/08 07:15 PM Re: dealing with cravings [Re: MarkK]
mike5 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/01/07
Posts: 170
Loc: Cleveland, OH
Originally Posted By: MarkK
there's one of my biggest "coping mechanisms" ... pull away from people.


I hear that - stressed, tired, frustrated? I pull away to "get some space" and then use the space to fall back into my sexual addiction. I needed spiritual help, in the form of meditation, before I could stand not using.

Keep at it MarkK - it is worth the effort!

Mike


Top
#200622 - 01/21/08 07:35 PM Re: dealing with cravings [Re: mike5]
Jarrad Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/27/06
Posts: 1071
Loc: arizona
lord knows. when you find the magic formula, let me know. i have days where i swear i have to lock myself in a room.


Top
#200658 - 01/21/08 11:07 PM Re: dealing with cravings [Re: Jarrad]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2503
Loc: Denver, CO
locking yourself in a room is better than locking yourself in the closet tho .... right??

(and i hope that's funny - it's probably not - but please don't be upset at my feeble attempt at humor ... )

M


Top
#200711 - 01/22/08 09:07 AM Re: dealing with cravings [Re: MarkK]
KENKEN Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/25/07
Posts: 762
Loc: NOTHERN COLORADO
Mark:

All I can say is "You are not alone"

I am sorry we all have to go through this

_________________________
I AM A GOOD PERSON, I AM A GOOD MAN

From the Movie: Antwone Fisher

***WOR ALUMNI SEQUOIA MARCH 2008***

Top
#200712 - 01/22/08 09:18 AM Re: dealing with cravings [Re: KENKEN]
Jarrad Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/27/06
Posts: 1071
Loc: arizona
haah much better than being in the closet


Top
#200717 - 01/22/08 10:03 AM Re: dealing with cravings [Re: PeaceSeeker]
NoOneImportant Offline
Guest

Registered: 01/11/08
Posts: 36
That's me to a T. I'm ok until I'm alone. The all those things you mentioned come out and I can't hold back the tide. I'm going to have to figure a way to reach out. I don't know, there are just times for me that I feel I just need to be alone. If I go to long without alone time I start feeling overwhelmed and get extremely irritable and cranky. Maybe once I get some help things will get better.

Thanks for posting, so many people have given me so much insight into myself. Some things are heard to realize.


Top
#200719 - 01/22/08 10:30 AM Re: dealing with cravings [Re: NoOneImportant]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2503
Loc: Denver, CO
Exactly. When i'm alone. And i have three months of business travel coming up where i'll be alone in a hotel room four nights a week.

i don't want to do the travel. yet at the same time i do - and that bothers me as well...

M


Top
#200739 - 01/22/08 12:50 PM Re: dealing with cravings [Re: MarkK]
PeaceSeeker Offline
New Here

Registered: 01/16/08
Posts: 11
I think it's ok to be alone sometimes...it's the difference between solitude and isolation.

Solitude is a good thing...meditation, relaxation, reflection, etc., are to me healthy forms of being alone. Solitude is being alone without being lonely, and feeling serenity and at peace with yourself and the world. Solitude is one of the wonderful benefits of recovery and healing. It's choosing to be alone, and being ok with it. Everyone needs rejuvenation from the trials of life.

But isolation is more of a reaction...it is purposefully being alone in order to escape being with others. It is avoiding recovery and going right back to the place where self-destructive behavior is possible. It's the old way.

Sometimes the line can be muddled with me...I have to watch out for isolation masking as solitude. It helps me to realize that we deserve to reach out to others without feeling fear, guilt, or shame, just as we deserve to enjoy solitude without feeling fear, guilt, or shame.



Edited by PeaceSeeker (01/22/08 12:52 PM)

Top
#200758 - 01/22/08 05:03 PM Re: dealing with cravings [Re: PeaceSeeker]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2503
Loc: Denver, CO
i think i follow what you're saying - but for me - to be alone will bring on isolation faster than almost anything. i do not do well alone. Meditation, relaxation, reflection, prayer - all of these are good alone - but for a short period. At least for me.

Possibly if i accepted your statement about deserving - maybe then being alone wouldn't be such a trigger.

But for now, being alone can in fact trigger me. Especially if i think about being alone, which i typically do when i am stuck in a hotel somewhere.

Guess i paint myself into a corner and then panic. i'm working on it - i'm getting better, stronger... Importantly - the day of extreme "cravings" has come and gone - and the feelings have subsided greatly. So, at least until my next trip i'm doin ok ... sorta ... kinda ...


Top
#200872 - 01/23/08 09:52 AM Re: dealing with cravings [Re: MarkK]
Frog Offline
Guest

Registered: 08/05/07
Posts: 291
Loc: Arizona
Campral - for alcohol cravings ....

_________________________
A Native American elder once described his own inner struggles in this manner: "Inside of me there are two dogs. One of the dogs is mean and evil. The other dog is good. The mean dog fights the good dog all the time." When asked which dog wins, he reflected for a moment, "The one I feed the most."

Top
#201041 - 01/24/08 03:54 AM Re: dealing with cravings [Re: MarkK]
Eric5 Offline
New Here

Registered: 12/31/07
Posts: 27
Loc: Pennsylvania, USA
Envy all of you capable of fighting urges, but in a good way of course. I got work to do in that department so its nice to see it can be achieved.


Top
#201086 - 01/24/08 10:47 AM Re: dealing with cravings [Re: Eric5]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2503
Loc: Denver, CO
don't envy me much - i beat tobacco and pot - but that's about it. the rest is still VERY MUCH a daily fight.

aahhh... more like hourly.

ok - minute by minute.

seconds?

M


Top
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.