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#200573 - 01/21/08 02:02 PM dealing with cravings
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2502
Loc: Denver, CO
hey guys - how do you cope on those days when the desire to return to old habits/addictions gets so bad you can't concentrate? it's like i'm going thru withdrawal symptoms for every habit i've ever had. from smoking tobacco to weed, to sexual promiscuity, to porn.

is this a "normal" part of recovery? to have days where the brain just will NOT do anything but dwell on personal pleasure? i'm not knocking pleasure - it's just not typically an all-consuming mental glitch like it is today.

i have a class to teach in 30 minutes - i have got to get my act together. it's as if my desires are all hyped up on caffiene. but only that part of me. my physiology is tired and dragging, emotionally drained and depressed ...

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!


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#200589 - 01/21/08 03:46 PM Re: dealing with cravings [Re: MarkK]
alexey Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 08/16/05
Posts: 1674
Loc: Moscow, Russia
Sorry, Mark.

(( safe hugs ))

I have these days too. You are not alone. It is a part of recovery. Setbacks are known phenomena. Take care.

Alexey

_________________________
(\__/)
(='.'=)
E[:]|||||[:]3
(")_(")
--------
When you feel all alone and unhappy, turn to you Inner Child and talk to Him.
You will see He can comfort you like nothing else!

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#200592 - 01/21/08 03:52 PM Re: dealing with cravings [Re: alexey]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
Yes Mark this is normal you mind wants to cope with life in the old destructive ways. Replace those coping mechanisms with healthy new one. Walking, Running, coffee or dinner with friends get out in public and don't isolate yourself. Hope this helps.
Benn there hurt there, done that.

Roger


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#200600 - 01/21/08 04:46 PM Re: dealing with cravings [Re: Freedom49]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2502
Loc: Denver, CO
Originally Posted By: alexey
(( safe hugs ))

i wish there was such a thing...

Originally Posted By: Freedom49
don't isolate yourself

there's one of my biggest "coping mechanisms" ... pull away from people.

this stuff stinks.


m


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#200607 - 01/21/08 06:17 PM Re: dealing with cravings [Re: MarkK]
GateKPR4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/28/07
Posts: 955
Loc: North Carolina, USA
What Freedom49 said - we have to replace an old habit with a new one. Easier said than done. I have setbacks all the time but I keep on working on changing the behavior and sooner or later I have created a healthy way of coping.
My favorite is taking a walk down by the water or out in the woods.
Woodworking or fixing something on the house. Keeping busy when I have cravings takes my mind off of the craving and on whatever I'm doing.
You only need to make one mistake with a power tool to learn to pay attention.

_________________________
I'm a normal person dealing with abnormal experiences.
The greatest discoveries we will find within ourselves.
Ricky
__m_τΏτ_m__
|| || || || || || |

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#200613 - 01/21/08 06:46 PM Re: dealing with cravings [Re: GateKPR4]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2502
Loc: Denver, CO
keeping busy - that's VERY key for me also. just today being stuck at work i couldn't seem to find anything to get my mind on. i finally had the class to teach, and that (happily) got me back where i needed to be - but it was a ROUGH one today.

Originally Posted By: GateKPR4
You only need to make one mistake with a power tool to learn to pay attention.


** shudder ** This i know all too well ...

m


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#200617 - 01/21/08 07:06 PM Re: dealing with cravings [Re: MarkK]
PeaceSeeker Offline
New Here

Registered: 01/16/08
Posts: 11
I deal with very strong cravings most of the time.

I quit drinking and drugs almost 7 years ago, with the help of AA.

My deepest core issue and strongest craving is acting out sexually through porn, MB, and fantasy. I've been dealing with that in SLAA and SRA for months now, but it is truly kicking my butt. The longest I've gone yet is 12 days without MB, which was a miracle...I've compulsively MB'd around 5 times a day since maybe the age of 12, or even younger.

I'm triggered by anything and everything...anger, embarassment, happiness, numbness...if you can think of a state of mind, it triggers me.

What I'm starting to focus on is when I don't feel triggered. It usually happens when I feel loved, like I fit in, and that I'm not a bad person. Also acceptance helps - when I accept that I am who I am and I'm perfect just the way I am, and in the exact place in my recovery that I'm supposed to be in. Lastly, helping others, any kind of service, really helps. It gets me out of my head and helps me feel good about myself.

The main tool that gets me out of the cravings is stopping the isolation by reaching out. Isolation is my default mode...that's where I go as the path of least resistance. When I end it through making phone calls, reaching out to people that care about me, the cravings lose much of their power. But that can be very, very difficult for me to do.


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#200618 - 01/21/08 07:15 PM Re: dealing with cravings [Re: MarkK]
mike5 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/01/07
Posts: 170
Loc: Cleveland, OH
Originally Posted By: MarkK
there's one of my biggest "coping mechanisms" ... pull away from people.


I hear that - stressed, tired, frustrated? I pull away to "get some space" and then use the space to fall back into my sexual addiction. I needed spiritual help, in the form of meditation, before I could stand not using.

Keep at it MarkK - it is worth the effort!

Mike


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#200622 - 01/21/08 07:35 PM Re: dealing with cravings [Re: mike5]
Jarrad Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/27/06
Posts: 1071
Loc: arizona
lord knows. when you find the magic formula, let me know. i have days where i swear i have to lock myself in a room.


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#200658 - 01/21/08 11:07 PM Re: dealing with cravings [Re: Jarrad]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2502
Loc: Denver, CO
locking yourself in a room is better than locking yourself in the closet tho .... right??

(and i hope that's funny - it's probably not - but please don't be upset at my feeble attempt at humor ... )

M


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