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#200500 - 01/21/08 07:44 AM AbuseConver.InRest
JasonSmalls Offline
Guest

Registered: 12/01/07
Posts: 142
Loc: NJ
Is it just me or does anybody else get freaked out when you overhear people talking about abuse or whatever?

Me and my grandpa went to Morton's Restaurant in Philly last night, and these people in the booth sorta next to us and behind us were talking about how they don't understand how a child couldn't tell someone they were being abuse and how their kids would definitely know its wrong and would definitely tell and adult if somebody touched them.

It just pisses me off, cause its almost like they're passing judgement on me. Like I was too dumb or something to know that it was wrong and I could tell anybody. I wanted to say to these people so bad, like "you have no idea what goes thru a little kids head, and its obvious that nothing like that ever happend to you, cause if it did, then you wouldn't be talking shit!" I don't think they understand that some of us really trusted and loved the people who abused us and some of us started so early that we didn't think there was anything wrong with it, or in my case, I just ever knew that love and life as a kid was supposed to be different.

Nobody ever told me what a "good touch" and a "bad touch" were, and it gets me upset when people think its common sense.

And another thing, I mean it's not like that kinda topic is perfect dinner conversation, is it? I mean wtf? Talk about football or something you heteros talk about, but leave the whole abuse issue at home, maybe by starting with your own kids, cause god knows, they probly have issues since you're all fucked up as a parent by passing judgement on me and people you don't even know and how they feel and what they went through.

Anyway, my grandpa sent the waiter over to tell them their drinks were on him if they would lower their voices. It worked and eventually they changed the subject.

I kinda just want all you people who arent survivors here to know that sometimes people like me would like to have one night when we dont hear the words "abuse, or molested, or rape" or whatever, cause I got triggered last night and I could barely even eat my $96 Porterhouse. (i did suffer thru it though lol) But seriously, you should consider that somebody might be near you and something like that could bother them and if you're gonna talk bout it, try to be a lil more positive rather than just criticizing the victimized child who doesnt know any better.

See ya!


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#200505 - 01/21/08 08:09 AM Re: AbuseConver.InRest [Re: JasonSmalls]
NoOneImportant Offline
Guest

Registered: 01/11/08
Posts: 36
I agree with you, if I was there, I'm not sure self-control would have been possible. I'd probably have gone off and ended up making myself look like a crazy freak, but people who say things like that are just plain ignorant. Wish I had had a grandpa looking out for me as a kid. All my grandparents were dead before I was born.

Hang in there man.


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#200537 - 01/21/08 11:12 AM Re: AbuseConver.InRest [Re: NoOneImportant]
dancr6 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/02/07
Posts: 383
Loc: georgia
Jason, I hear people talk about inapropriate topics all the time. Many times I have to explain words or concepts to my boys 8 & 10 overheard from some silly person who thinks he or she the center of the universe. I wish I had the wit your grandfather has. What a gentle but assertive way of shutting the idiots up! I almost want to take my boys out to encounter one of the idiots and use your grandfathers phrase, you can be sure I will remember it. Thank your gramps for me.

_________________________
I'm a freeman now, his authority's dead
no pain monger lies in my comfortable bed!

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