I am 23 years old and just realized yesterday that I was a VICTIM of sexual abuse. I guess I stored all those memories in a dark place, because like many of you I felt-Responsible, Dirty, Guilty, Ashamed, paranoid that someone would know. It is a lot to process as a child and I guess I just kinda saw it from an adult perspective for the first time,(instead of a five year olds perspective). Lately, I felt frustrated in my life, even though I am living out some of my wildest dreams, I would still get extremely depressed and felt like I couldnt control some of my behaviors. I feel easily coerced, I am a people pleaser, I feel like i have a tough time being the leader in a relationships, I keep feeling like the victim i never got to be. On the outside everything looks excellent but inside I felt terrible. Yesterday I cried for the first time about this.