I was a model for a short time. There was one scouting event ("cattle call") that had bogus written all over it. They were trying so ridiculously hard to "stoke" me about getting selected to go on their trip to some big camp or something. It was thousands of dollars to go and I just didn't understand why I should be paying for anything like that. What fresh model trying to get started in the industry has several thousand dollars at their disposal? The girl on the phone repeatedly asked me if I was excited, using her best "game show contestant"
voice. There were lots of signs that indicated this was just a way to get wanna-be models to hand over money.
I did a few volunteer shoots (for the experience, always a good idea) and a couple paid shoots. The last shoot I ever did paid the most, and I got a few good shots. It's actually still on the studio's web site and he states that I was his first model and his favorite. I never really felt the need to go back, despite several requests from him.
I never went back to it after that because I quickly realized that I was doing it for my self-esteem. That's just not good because I was far too sensitive to rejection. It should have a been a business endeavor and not a personal validation endeavor. I decided to stick with engineering.
If you don't mind, can you give me some idea as to how much the school is costing you? Please PM me if you want to keep it discreet.
Best of luck!!
Guilt and shame have never done any of us any good at all.