you bring up an excellent point i ,too can only cry when i am with someone i trust otherwise it's real frightening for me let alone others who have never seen me cry who dont know how to deal with it.

Thank you for pointing out for me that "trust" in any form or lack thereof has a profound effect on our subconcious.


Coop

This week I remembered much of the abuse that I had blocked. I finally cried. I think more people abused me that I thought. I'm not sure I have some holes in my memory. It hurts bad. I wish this never happened. So many people have been bad to me.

AB I know it hurts. I was abused by 4 different men in my youth, and I had to ask myself, "Why me?" Was there some sort of sex cult in my neighborhood? Do I have "Victim" stamped on my forehead or something?

I can't explain it. Why have some people been struck by lightning multiple times? Why have some people won more than one lottery? It it's luck, it's bad luck. But it almost seems like it can't be just a coincidence...

Whatever the reason, it's not our fault. If I had "victim" written all over me, it wasn't me who put it there. If I sought out my abusers, it was because I didn't know any better and I was just a kid.

You deserve a good cry.

Lazarus