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#199780 - 01/16/08 02:12 PM Re: Questions.. [Re: none]
alexey Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 08/16/05
Posts: 1674
Loc: Moscow, Russia
none,

I think many guys here would get triggered by your mere question, as they try to find the truth about the harm the abuse made to them. This truth can only come from the deep of their, and my, psych, soul, or heart, whatever you call it. The logical meaning of thi truth is that whatever form the child sexual abuse took, it was very hurtful and horribly devastating to the development of a child into an adolescent and adult. The following depression, pain, guilt, and distrust have hunted male survivors for years.

I would simply point it out that while your question is understandably brought by your pain and sadness of being in a situation of having been sexually abused, the things you question are triggering. Please make this clear in the future.

And take care. I am sure you not alone in this prolonging survival. Many men here suffered from all kinds of persons, who all were plainly ABUSERS and pedophiles.

Alexey



Edited by ModTeam (01/16/08 02:30 PM)
_________________________
(\__/)
(='.'=)
E[:]|||||[:]3
(")_(")
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When you feel all alone and unhappy, turn to you Inner Child and talk to Him.
You will see He can comfort you like nothing else!

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#199789 - 01/16/08 02:36 PM Re: Questions.. [Re: alexey]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
none,

As others have said, each of us has our own pain and issues and many of us have been hurt in many ways. I'm sure I could never begin to put ranks on things or quantify the harm I have felt. As you think about these problems further here I am sure you will come to see what we mean.

Many guys who were abused by women, for example, feel that this has interfered with their ability to relate to women now or even to have sex. Others have the same feelings, but were abused by men. Others have other issues and are not so badly affected in their relationships or ability to be sexual with others. It all comes down to the fact that though there may be similarities in our cases, we are all different and have been affected by abuse in different ways.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#199791 - 01/16/08 02:40 PM Re: Questions.. [Re: none]
mogigo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 1331
Loc: Colorado
Who would you have rather been beat up in the school yard by None, a guy or a girl? Which one would make you feel worse?

This is a useless conversation

Mike

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#199805 - 01/16/08 03:48 PM Re: Questions.. [Re: mogigo]
none Offline
New Here

Registered: 01/11/08
Posts: 38
How can you even compare a children's school yard fight to being forced to perform sex acts on men? That doesn't even make sense. Now you turned it to useless conversation.



Edited by none (01/16/08 03:53 PM)

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#199860 - 01/16/08 11:07 PM Re: Questions.. [Re: none]
mvnforwrd Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/05/07
Posts: 216
Loc: NJ
none,

Leti it out! type away! i am reading and hearing what you are saying (iam going through the same feelings) I too was abused by a man when i was a boy! I sometimes wish it would have been a Women. Allthough if it was a women I think the damage would have been the same. MVN4WRD

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Take your foot out of yesterday and your other foot out of tomorro or you will keep pissing allover today!

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#199865 - 01/16/08 11:35 PM Re: Questions.. [Re: mvnforwrd]
mogigo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 1331
Loc: Colorado
You know guys, I wasn't trying to be mean but I fail to see where this conversation is going other than to make me feel like my RAPE!! was somehow easier than another's. How does this line of questions help None. Will his healing move forward, will he feel supported if he feels justified in deluding himself that some fantasy rape that never happened is an ideal to what he went through. His only accomplishment in this conversation is me feeling like his ignorance really is widespread about MY abuse.

We're in this together aren't we, or does that only happen until someone can find some kind of relief in a fictional scenario at the expense of my feeling like I belong.

Remember how you felt the first time someone made you feel like no one understands what your going through None, that's exactly how you're making me feel now, something I haven't felt for a long long time BECAUSE of this site. But I guess that doesn't matter does it None, as long as YOU can find some relief in your ignorance. So go ahead None, don't worry about me, you just wallow in your fictional scenario. YOU have no idea how I feel. What a crappy thing that I can say that on this site.

Mike





Edited by mogigo (01/16/08 11:41 PM)
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#199867 - 01/16/08 11:38 PM Re: Questions.. [Re: mvnforwrd]
evanesence Offline
Guest

Registered: 12/08/07
Posts: 119
for me a big part of it being a man is i was raised where people believed that homosexuality was sick and disgusting ,and any body forced or not was considerd damaged for life ,a boy that was raped by a man could never really be called straight because he had sex with a man ,he could never really be a MAN ever, so the boy was even more alone, didn't belong with his own kind . but i'm sure having a female perp has it's own baggage just the same,one thing being told shit she did you a favor!i have heard that one lots of times.


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#199868 - 01/16/08 11:49 PM Re: Questions.. [Re: evanesence]
ak Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/10/04
Posts: 1491
Mogigo,

You are not alone in your feelings. That is all I will further say in this thread because I believe anything I would say would not be welcome.

Andrei


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#199869 - 01/16/08 11:49 PM Re: Questions.. [Re: evanesence]
mogigo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 1331
Loc: Colorado
For me a big part of being a man is I was raised where people believed that men were dominant and anybody dominated by a woman was not a man at all, at least if I was raped by a man I did have a place, I could at "LEAST" (just saying this to make a point) be gay. Being raped by a woman I have no place at all, I'm not a man, I'm not gay, I'm a throw away. No place for me Evan.

Evan, I feel your compassion completely, I feel your understanding too, and I love you for it. I'm just trying to make a point.

I'm feeling really shitty, and crappy, and so alone right now that I'm trying to defend myself in this way on this site.

Mike

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#199870 - 01/16/08 11:55 PM Re: Questions.. [Re: mogigo]
mogigo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 1331
Loc: Colorado
Thanks AK, love ya bro, thank you

Stay strong
Mike

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