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#19936 - 11/11/02 08:08 PM Not sure what to say
James_dup1 Offline


Registered: 04/13/02
Posts: 1332
Loc: Wyoming
Hey all,
Not sure what Im going to say just know I need to say something. I feel like Im fallin into a hole that I cant see anyway out of. Like there is no hope. Just like I did when I had to go to the hospital. HOPELESS. Im just so depressed right now. Im just so tried, why cant I just stop, why cant I just be ok. I have a few great friends I can talk to and my wife is and will always be there for me to talk to so I am using them. but then again thats part of the problem, I feel like I use them, like I drain all of there engery. This has been comming on for a few days/weeks not sure which its just been a long time. So I guess for someone who wasnt sure what to say Im sure saying a lot. ok so I'll go for now.
thanks
james

_________________________
I have more issues than Rolling Stone!


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#19937 - 11/11/02 09:23 PM Re: Not sure what to say
The Dean Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 07/15/02
Posts: 2080
Loc: Milwaukee, WI
Hi James,

I am sorry that these are difficult days for you.
A couple of things I have learned is that you have to move depression -- it works, get some walking in or some form of movement


Secondly,

_________________________
If we do not live what we believe, then we will begin to believe what we live.

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#19938 - 11/11/02 09:25 PM Re: Not sure what to say
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
James:

I'm not sure what to say either, except that I relate very much to what you're talking about & going thru. And I empathize with you.

Take care James

Wuame

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

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#19939 - 11/11/02 09:25 PM Re: Not sure what to say
The Dean Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 07/15/02
Posts: 2080
Loc: Milwaukee, WI
Sorry, I hit the wrong button.

The second point that helps me is to remember I have been here before and got out and even did pretty well--so I know I can get out again.

You are not a burden to anyone. So use your support people. This too shall pass.

Bob

_________________________
If we do not live what we believe, then we will begin to believe what we live.

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#19940 - 11/12/02 12:21 AM Re: Not sure what to say
Ken Followell Offline
President
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 12/30/01
Posts: 989
Loc: Bradenton, FL
James,

I have notice that the depression comes in waves, but like a wave it will pass. Try to hang in there and use the support you have. it hurts them more when we don't len on them than when we do. wish I could learn to live that idea myself.

Ken

_________________________
Ken Followell

Everything works out right in the end. If things are not working right, it isn't the end yet. Don't let it bother you, relax and keep on goin
- Michael C. Muhammad

"I get up. I walk. I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing."
� Rabbi Hillel

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#19941 - 11/12/02 01:43 PM Re: Not sure what to say
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
Ken's right, if we don't use our supporters as they would wish us to use them we will go down.
They love and respect us for whatever reasons they might have, and they have our interests at heart.
If we were a burden on them we'd soon know about it.

Be strong James

Lloydy

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#19942 - 11/12/02 04:06 PM Re: Not sure what to say
Len Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 11/12/02
Posts: 2
Loc: Canada
Hi James...I know what you're talking about. I remember the feeling well. I remember the feeling of sinking. The feeling of hopelessness.

I also remember the day I first met you at the chatspace. I've seen how far you've come since that day, and all the changes that you've made. I could talk for hours about how far you've come in becoming the person you want to be.

The trouble is, when we get feeling like this, its hard to see the progress we've made. Its especially hard to see this as progress. But it is.

The Dean made a good suggestion about going for walks, to keep moving. It helps you feel like your not trapped. Heaven forbid, its good exercise too and I know strongly you feel about that ;\) . But the kind of job you have can easily make you feel trapped.

So refresh your memory as to why you are doing this. Keep sight of your goals. And as hard as it is...you CAN do this. We are here with you through it all. You will never be a burden. :p Remember please...you've got friends who love you.


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#19943 - 11/12/02 07:50 PM Re: Not sure what to say
Lloydy Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 04/17/02
Posts: 7071
Loc: England Shropshire
Hi Len
It's good to see someone coming here from using the chat room, so welcome Len.

keep coming back

Lloydy

_________________________
Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
Henry David Thoreau

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#19944 - 11/12/02 08:08 PM Re: Not sure what to say
RickL Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/16/02
Posts: 84
Loc: Oregon
James,

I know that feeling--low energy, nothing to be thrilled about, hopeless. When I was married I had no awareness of the effects of my abuse, and I probably did rely too much on my wife as a therapist, which she was not. Now I do have a support network of friends who are survivors, who live in different parts of the country. That helps so much!

What contributes to the depression in my case has a lot to do with this time of year. The daylight hours are dramatically shorter. Plus, perhaps an uncoucious feeling of dread--summer is over meant spending more time trapped in the house--more trapped by the abusive atmosphere of my dad. On some level, this time of year probably brings that up for me.

Today we had some mild weather and sun. So I took a long walk up a butte, and allowed that sun to shine in my face. Both the activity and the sunlight helps me feel better.

Hope you're feeling better too.

Rick


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#19945 - 11/12/02 11:08 PM Re: Not sure what to say
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
Len:

Good points. Nice to hear from you. Welcome to the boards.

Wuame

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

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