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#198864 - 01/09/08 11:18 PM Trusting and Dealing
Sacred_Sage Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/19/07
Posts: 141
I've found it extremely difficult for me to trust people with what they say. I've worked on it quite a bit, but, its still not enough. First off, I'll tell you that I have not gone through any theraphy...mainly due to financial difficulties...so anything I have learned is through the hard way (trial and error).

I try to make what happened to me understandable for people who care for and love me for who I am, but it seems that my words are grossly inadequate or they aren't just getting it. Its like hitting a wall sometimes. It is very frustrating with the emotional roller coaster. Any suggestions?

And if therapy was an option, I'd be in it already.

_________________________
http://youtu.be/HL297ZTYVRM <---- In case you ever wondered what I sound like.

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#198870 - 01/10/08 12:20 AM Re: Trusting and Dealing *DELETED* [Re: Sacred_Sage]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
Post deleted by Freedom49


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#199051 - 01/11/08 03:01 PM Re: Trusting and Dealing [Re: Freedom49]
NoOneImportant Offline
Guest

Registered: 01/11/08
Posts: 36
I'm the same way. I don't trust. Even those close to me are suspect. I haven't ever gotten help. I've only ever told one person and even then no details. My biggest problem with getting help isn't really the money, it's not being able to trust anyone.


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#199135 - 01/12/08 12:55 AM Re: Trusting and Dealing [Re: NoOneImportant]
Scoutvictim Offline
Guest

Registered: 06/04/07
Posts: 434
Loc: St. Louis, Missouri
Important and Sacred Sage,

Let me first say welcome to MS, I'm sorry you need this place, but I'm glad you guys found this place.

I hope you will take the steps you need to learn some great wisdom from the people on this site. Many of us have been through what you are dealing with. One of the biggest problems for most of us is trust.

I know it's hard to see this right now, but I promise it will get better the more you talk about it. Take your time, this whole thing we call recovery is not a race. Talk and ask questions at your own pace, but please do stay around. Just know that many of us do understand.

I also found it very difficult to trust people. As I have begun to share my story here, and now in "real" life, it's amazing how much it helps. The crushing weight of keeping a secret is so crippling, that for many years, I never thought I would be free of my demons. When I began to tell my story, I could physically feel the stress and weight lift off my shoulders. Check out my post... http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=197654&page=0&fpart=1

It does take an amount of trust to share, but remember if you start here it is easier. No one knows you here, so just talk (type) and let it all out. After you see that many guys will totally understand your feelings, then maybe it will become easier in the "real" world to begin talking.

Important, a personal note to you. I am sure you have noticed, I have left off the first part of your handle.(screen name) You are IMPORTANT, and don't let anyone tell you you're not. We're all here for each other, and each of us can contribute towards each others recovery.

Good luck and I hope to see you both around for a long time.

Carl



_________________________
Shawn and Ben will always be in my heart....

Happiness is like peeing your pants; Everyone can see it, but only YOU feel the warmth.

Peebles, Ohio WOR alumni, Oct. 2007

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#199203 - 01/12/08 02:24 PM Re: Trusting and Dealing [Re: Scoutvictim]
alexey Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 08/16/05
Posts: 1674
Loc: Moscow, Russia
Sacred,

Welcome to MS.

I want to echo what guys said. Other people either never experienced what you went through, or they have difficulty talking about it due to their own issues.

Disclosure is a carefuland mindful process, for me at least. I carefully pick a person I can share with.

Hang in here. MS helped me, and I hope it will help you.

Alexey

_________________________
(\__/)
(='.'=)
E[:]|||||[:]3
(")_(")
--------
When you feel all alone and unhappy, turn to you Inner Child and talk to Him.
You will see He can comfort you like nothing else!

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