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#266580 - 12/11/08 05:40 PM Re: This site SUCKS for changing my post title [Re: none]
duncanUK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/24/06
Posts: 632
Originally Posted By: none
that if a man rapes a boy, the abuser therefore is homosexual, and I am tired of hearing others ignore this fact, making excuses. I had to post this. I'm tired hearing that my abusers were heterosexuals, when it's clearly untrue.


the abuser can be homosexual, can be straight, can be a woman as well as a man. If a woman sexually abuses a girl what does that make her? a lesbian? she could be married. The abusers sexual orientation has nothing to do with why they committed the crime.

Please look at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pedophilia . Adult men rape men as well. It happens in jails etc.. and the perpetrators are generally "straight" and when their time is up will be released back into society and resume "normal" sexual relationships.

In your case you abuser was homosexual but that does NOT mean all homosexuals are child abusers. Children are sexually abused and beaten to death in their own homes every day... their own parents do it to them or a close family member or friend. If the father or mother carries out this crime... what does that make them?

duncan

_________________________
you dont see me. i am not really here. Its my fault.. all of it. I am to blame and no one else.

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#266581 - 12/11/08 05:41 PM Re: The way I see it [Re: none]
wes-b Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/17/07
Posts: 438
Loc: Western, Canada

enon { It sounds more like a name backwards ;-) }

I do not recall the original title of this thread...

Prayers to you. When I read your statement about continuing to express your anger MORE I was pleased for you... Heck, get it out bet the hell out of a pillow or a mattress --In my books all of my pent up crap had to, and has to, get out-- the more I express my emotions the more I find I am in touch with them. The more I am in touch with them the more I can deal with them. The more I deal with them the more I heal. The more I stuff my emotions the more I hurt myself and others.

I have no interest in weighing in on the argument of this thread... I will simply paraphrase a dead Englishman in support on not taking a side(or taking a 3rd side);

An abuser by any other name would smell as vile!

Your brother, Wes

_________________________
Happy to be a recovering survivor. :-)

Continuing to meet more of my fellows as I "Trudge the Road of Happy Destiny".

My Story, 1st pass

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#266584 - 12/11/08 06:11 PM Re: The way I see it [Re: wes-b]
Stretch73 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/27/08
Posts: 336
Loc: Sea Isle City, NJ
Some drink at the fountain of knowledge. Others just gargle.

_________________________
"I was so poor growing up, that if I wasn't born a boy, I wouldn't have had anything to play with." Rodney Dangerfield

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#266682 - 12/12/08 06:44 AM Re: The way I see it [Re: Ken Singer, LCSW]
Stretch73 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/27/08
Posts: 336
Loc: Sea Isle City, NJ
Wow Ken! Thank you! You have no idea how much of what you wrote up there calmed me down.

I know I'm not the only one who is fed up with this BS, but I seem to be the only one trying to controll this guy and allow him to see the side of logic rather than distortion.

Ken Singer for Supreme Court Judge!

Rich

_________________________
"I was so poor growing up, that if I wasn't born a boy, I wouldn't have had anything to play with." Rodney Dangerfield

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#266701 - 12/12/08 09:04 AM Re: The way I see it [Re: Stretch73]
Ken Singer, LCSW Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/24/00
Posts: 5780
Loc: Lambertville, NJ USA
Would I have to make a political contribution to get that post?

There is something about "count to ten" before hitting the send button. Sometimes you have to count to ten a bunch of times to say things more effectively.


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#266770 - 12/12/08 05:10 PM Re: The way I see it [Re: Ken Singer, LCSW]
Roofus Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/24/08
Posts: 233
Loc: Utah
None, I don't know if you realized, but all of the threads in response to you, are listed as replies in regards to, or "RE: The way I see it." I think the mods are clear that they did not change the title of your post, and I highly doubt that they did. If they had, they would have had to change the title to all of the replies as well.

Furthermore, the title "The way I see it..." makes perfect sense to what you wrote in the original post. Put it together, and you'll see... LOOK


The way I see it...
Originally Posted By: none
that if a man rapes a boy, the abuser therefore is homosexual, and I am tired of hearing others ignore this fact, making excuses. I had to post this. I'm tired hearing that my abusers were heterosexuals, when it's clearly untrue.


It would not have made sense with the other title you are suggesting.

I'm with Ken on the 10 minute rule... but I usually tell my students that they should sleep on it before hitting send.

Allen



Edited by Roofus (12/12/08 06:31 PM)

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#266827 - 12/12/08 08:16 PM Re: The way I see it [Re: Ken Singer, LCSW]
melliferal Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/03/05
Posts: 1159
Originally Posted By: Ken Singer, LCSW
None:
You can delete your own posts but you can't delete others'. If we delete the whole thread, we are deleting the posts of others. Should you have the power to delete other's opinions?


Anyway...

As to the point of this thread: technically I would have to agree with the opening post. And here is the reasoning: there are only two genders - male, and female. As a human, you can be sexually oriented toward your own sex, the opposite sex, both sexes, or no sex at all. "Child" is not a sex in and of itself (that's the whole reason pedophilia is not a sexual orientation). Children are either male or female. Therefore, a male perpetrator who is sexually attracted to a male victim is homosexually oriented; the fact that the victim is a child does not matter. If the male perpetrator is also attracted to females (adult or otherwise), then he is bisexual. If a female adult perpetrator is attracted exclusively to males, she is heterosexually oriented - no matter what the ages of the males she is attracted to.

This seems fairly logical to me. People vociferously oppose this reasoning, however. Near as I can tell, it is because those people for some reason think that recognition of male-male sexual contact as technically homosexual regardless of context somehow condemns or portrays all homosexually-oriented people in a bad light. Given that people are the way they are, generally, I can understand that fear. It does not help, of course, that pedophiles, in an attempt to portray their activities as some kind of civil right, have hitched their wagon to the star that is the fight for equal rights for homosexuals. This tarnishes the GLBT image, and it's understandable that they'd want to try and avoid any labeling or terminology that links them in any way with pedophiles.

_________________________
Children cannot consent; they can only comply.

Oprah's resources for male survivors

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#268508 - 12/23/08 10:57 PM Re: The way I see it [Re: roadrunner]
cole Offline


Registered: 07/28/08
Posts: 10
Loc: NC
My grandfather had a incestous relationship with me, and my sister. A wife he had sex with, multiple affairs, he was tri-sexual. As in try to screw up as many lives as possible and now I can just work on me.

Col

_________________________
"To always look life in the face...To always look life in the face and to know it for what it is and to know it for what it is not and then put it away." Virginia Woolfe, "The Hours"

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#434156 - 05/09/13 04:57 PM Re: The way I see it [Re: none]
BuffaloCO Offline


Registered: 07/14/12
Posts: 440
Loc: USA
A question: Is pedophilia itself an orientation? I don't think so. There is a movement afoot in the UK and Canada to make that distinction, along with saying that it should also be acceptable, legal, etc. (see the News Thread, and that movement is not just to "normalize" sex with boys but also with girls.)

I believe there are heterosexual pedophiles, bisexual pedophiles and homosexual pedophiles. I do not believe that every person of any orientation is a pedophile. I also know that some people are married and engaged in pedophilia, so are they both maybe? Both heterosexual and a pedophile?
_________________________
“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark. The real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.” - Plato

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#434184 - 05/09/13 11:06 PM Re: The way I see it [Re: none]
wearytraveler Offline


Registered: 01/12/13
Posts: 49
Loc: Left Site- no longer member
deleted


Edited by wearytraveler (11/10/13 06:55 AM)
_________________________
I have left this site and am no longer a member to those who I met while here I wish you well I no longer reside in my own past but have moved on and facing what is now and what is ahead. My past no longer defines me, and it does not effect the course of who I am and my future.

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