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#199143 - 01/12/08 02:23 AM Weekend of Recovery
Shy_Guy Offline
New Here

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 4
Loc: Fremont, CA
Has anybody attended a Weekend of Recovery? I'm interested in knowing what goes on in a little more depth than provided on the registration info, especially for the first level. I'd appreciate any thoughts.

Jason


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#199144 - 01/12/08 02:40 AM Re: Weekend of Recovery [Re: Shy_Guy]
Hauser Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/05
Posts: 2962
Loc: United States
Welcome to MS Guy.

I've not attended one, but many guys here have, and 99.9999 percent have a VERY positive take on their experiences there. I hope you end up going.


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#199160 - 01/12/08 09:39 AM Re: Weekend of Recovery [Re: Shy_Guy]
JorgeR Offline
Past President
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 08/16/07
Posts: 60
Loc: Santa Cruz, CA, USA
Jason,

I attended the Alta 2007 WoR...it changed my life...the past 4 months has been a rollercoaster, but only because I left there with the first real hope that my life would be different...I still have a ways to go, but at least I am now headed there, instead of being stuck, like I had been for years.

Peace,
Jorge

_________________________
I found my little boy at Alta 2007...I spoke the unspeakable shame at Sequoia 2008...I learned to flounder at Alta 2009

What breakthrough can YOU have at a Weekend of Recovery?

** talk to me about WoRs or BoD or Committees **

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#199163 - 01/12/08 09:53 AM Re: Weekend of Recovery [Re: JorgeR]
ChicagoSurvivor Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/08/07
Posts: 17
I attended with great fear and anxiety and really enjoyed it. I think anyone considering a WOR but scared should tuck the fear away and go. It helped move my recovery forward leaps and bounds. There was so much (safe) love in the room/weekend that it was so healing for me.

-j


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#199183 - 01/12/08 12:53 PM Re: Weekend of Recovery [Re: JorgeR]
frost Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/15/07
Posts: 1377
Loc: Eh?
I attended the Alta 2007 weekend as well and got to meet Jorge there \:\)

I can usually only describe it as a "life altering experience" because the number of ways that it changed my life for the better is simply staggering. There are so many positive things that I took out of it. Establishing trust, shame busting, and forging friendships are among the biggest for me. If you have the opportunity to go, I highly doubt you'll regret it. The weekends are a truly amazing experience.

All the best,
~Brian

_________________________
Boom!

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#199184 - 01/12/08 01:03 PM Re: Weekend of Recovery [Re: frost]
Patrick Walsh Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/08/08
Posts: 22
Loc: PA
I am new to MS however, I am planning on attending the March 28th weekend. scared and nervous? yes. but pretty sure I'm ready for something else than what I got now. I'm very impressed with the safe structure they seem to provide. I doubt very much that it could harm me. My Therapist thought it was a great idea. I need to sign up and pay before my fears overtake me.
funny, I'm nervous about a roomate. Will I have a fear/stimuli response? But then, maybe that's all part of the healing is facing it and talking about it instead of staying home and killing myself with shame. I'm very good at that. I want to try something else.

As I told my wife. not something I look forward to. But something I think I will regret if I don't do I"ve tried on my own and the issues are too slippery.

I want more. For her. And maybe, just maybe for me.

that's my take
Patnow

_________________________
I'm a good person. I'm a good man. I'm a postive force and I will not be shamed.

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#199185 - 01/12/08 01:05 PM Re: Weekend of Recovery [Re: ChicagoSurvivor]
TJ jeff Offline

Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 3369
Loc: Northern Wisconsin
Jason,

I've attended 2 weekends of recovery - I, like many others, highly recommend them - there are many diffrent aspects to the weekend (and no 2 weekends are exactly the same - many here have been to multiple weekends) - they do work in large group and small group settings - they use many diffrent therapy methods (some even include art, music and body movement) - there is a team of over 10 facilitators there all weekend to keep things safe and focused - they even have a safe room that you can go to if things get to overwhelming or you just need to get away and talk 1 on 1 with a facilitator - the settings they hold their weekends at are just beautiful and very peaceful (I've been to Peebles, Ohio and Alta, Utah - both are simply beautiful settings for being able to open up emmotionaly and feel safe) - the food is always excellent - I could go on and on... - it's just such a life changing experience...

if you've got any specific questions please feel free to ask them here or PM them to me and I'll do my very best to answer them

TJ jeff

_________________________
Who will cry for the little boy? - I will... - Antwone Fisher

Abuse happens in silence/isolation - Recovery happens only when that silence/isolation is broken...

TJ's History

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#199187 - 01/12/08 01:17 PM Re: Weekend of Recovery [Re: TJ jeff]
TJ jeff Offline

Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 3369
Loc: Northern Wisconsin
Patrick,

I really do hope that you will go - for me, I got more out of 1 weekend of recovery than I got out of a year and a half of Therapy

Quote:
I'm nervous about a roomate.


I remember how nervous I was about this going into my first recovery weekend - but... you know what? - the other guy in my room was just as scared as I was - I guess our mutualy being scared just kind of melted the fear between us both very fast as we realized that we were both there for exactly the same reasons and both had the same fears - we both slept great that weekend

Quote:
Will I have a fear/stimuli response?


yeah - I know I did - but... the facilitator team there is very good at noticing those who are struggling in any way and will work with them 1 on 1 to help them through it

_________________________
Who will cry for the little boy? - I will... - Antwone Fisher

Abuse happens in silence/isolation - Recovery happens only when that silence/isolation is broken...

TJ's History

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#199193 - 01/12/08 01:51 PM Re: Weekend of Recovery [Re: Patrick Walsh]
Scoutvictim Offline
Guest

Registered: 06/04/07
Posts: 434
Loc: St. Louis, Missouri
Jason and Patnow,

Let me first say welcome to MS, I am sorry you need this place, but I'm gald you found us.

I had many of the same feelings as you guys describe. The roommate thing was a big one for me also. I was so nervous, I almost turned around twice, while driving to Ohio.

A little background.

One year ago today I started a major life crash, and began to isolate myself. It got to the point that I cut all ties to my friends and family. I only left the house to buy groceries. It was really messing with my head.

When I deceided to go to Peebles, all the fears came rushing at me. I had spent almost 8 months in my house. What was a vegi diet going to do to my system, who would be my roommate, would I be able to interact with the other men there. Could I even begin to socialize and what about talking about my CSA. All major issues for me.

When I finally got to the center, I put on a great front. No one would see just how nervous I was. As the first group meeting started, it was clear that everyone there wanted all of us to feel safe. The staff allowed us to set our own rules, they asked "what will make you feel safe?" That was a big first step, we got to set the rules, based on our fears and worries. They write them down and post them for the whole weekend. From that point on, we started to try and open up.

It wasn't easy, but I have to say, I loved it. Yes we had awkward moments, we had some free time and that forced me to socialize. The staff has done these WOR's 19 times, I promise you, they have dealt with all the possible problems that may come up.

By the end of the weekend, I had become so comfortable, I didn't want to leave. It truely was a life changing event in my life.

I hope you both will sign up for the March WOR, you will not regret it. Do everything you can to get to one. It will not be the end of recovery for you, but it can be a major stepping stone.

Good luck and good healing,
Carl

_________________________
Shawn and Ben will always be in my heart....

Happiness is like peeing your pants; Everyone can see it, but only YOU feel the warmth.

Peebles, Ohio WOR alumni, Oct. 2007

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#199232 - 01/12/08 08:45 PM Re: Weekend of Recovery [Re: Scoutvictim]
mike5 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/01/07
Posts: 170
Loc: Cleveland, OH
I was at the weekend in Peebles, OH, last year too. It was very positive and I was very scared on the drive over! The feeling of being in a room full of survivors who all looked so normal was amazing. I suppose I expected everyone to be like I fell/felt inside :-)

I was worried about how I'd react to having an unknown roommate in an unknown place too. Someone suggested that I talk to him about it, so I did - and he told me he'd watch out for me! How wonderful to know there was an adult man there who knew what I'd experienced and knew how important it was to feel safe.

I think that was the best part of the weekend for me. Everyone understood, there was no need to hide from "it," and we all made safety a priority - watched out for each other and our selves.

Pretty amazing!

Mike


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#199249 - 01/12/08 09:52 PM Re: Weekend of Recovery [Re: Shy_Guy]
Army Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/27/07
Posts: 90
Loc: California
Hey Jason,

I attended the weekend at Peebles in 07. I was very nervous. I found that it was well worth the temporary feelings I was having. What I found was that there is no where else that healing of what we went through as boys can be delt with but by people who understand it and have gone through it too. The level of healing and help is beyond what anyone can explain. You set the rules to make it safe for you, speek up and say what you need. YOUR worth it.

Go for it.

ARMY

_________________________
07 Peebbles WOR Alummni

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#199253 - 01/12/08 10:07 PM Re: Weekend of Recovery [Re: Army]
FormerTexan Offline
Site Administrator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 09/12/04
Posts: 11119
Loc: Denver, CO
I attended the Weekend in Alta in 2007. I had an awesome roommate and met other awesome folks there. I hope to attend a Level 2 this year.

Jason, if you can make it to one, please go for it!


Andy

_________________________
List of things ain't nobody got time for:

1. That


If I could meet myself as a boy...

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#199256 - 01/12/08 10:41 PM Re: Weekend of Recovery [Re: mike5]
dancr6 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/02/07
Posts: 383
Loc: georgia
Jason,
The comments you are getting back are reinforcing my decision to go to a WoR in May. My wife says we'll find a way and I'm sure we will. I am excited about being in a group of men that I don't have to fake it with. I think I'll even feel free enough to ask things like, "I am imagining that you are feeling disgust toward me, are you?" and trust that the response will be made with compassion. Sounds like a trustworthy group to me. The thought of meeting some of the great voices I read on MS is thrilling and makes me pretty certain about going!!

Dan C-R

_________________________
I'm a freeman now, his authority's dead
no pain monger lies in my comfortable bed!

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#199462 - 01/14/08 03:46 PM Re: Weekend of Recovery [Re: dancr6]
Dale English Offline
Newsletter Founder/Producer
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 06/08/03
Posts: 448
Loc: PA
Hi guys,

Just wanted to bump this post back up to the top as we begin a new WOR season. To all the alumni, many thanks for your kind and encouraging words.

Taz


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#199466 - 01/14/08 05:08 PM Re: Weekend of Recovery [Re: mike5]
Patrick Walsh Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/08/08
Posts: 22
Loc: PA
Mike,

Thanks for the kind words. That's exactly what i wnated to hear I was afraid I would "act out".

Thanks
Pat now

_________________________
I'm a good person. I'm a good man. I'm a postive force and I will not be shamed.

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#211953 - 03/20/08 08:02 PM Re: Weekend of Recovery [Re: mike5]
JorgeR Offline
Past President
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 08/16/07
Posts: 60
Loc: Santa Cruz, CA, USA
Hey guys,

I will be attending the Sequoia WoR, and attended Alta 2007...if anyone who is attending has any questions, I'm happy to answer (send me a PM, unless you think your question would have broad appeal)...and if you are thinking about it...see all the testimonials above as to why you should go.

Just to cover the begged question...why am I attending another one, if the first one was so great? I use a combination of group therapy, joint therapy with my partner, and whatever else I can find (1 WoR and the Conference in NY last Oct) to help keep me moving along...recovery is a process...I figure if I can have 5 breakthroughs at Alta, then I can have at least 1 more at Sequoia...and the atmosphere at a WoR is such that you can't help but allow yourself to have at least one, if not more...my therapist says if I stay this committed to my recovery, I can "graduate" from needing my group and my therapist, and live a relatively "normal" (whatever that is?!?!) life. Due to traveling I have not been able to access my group since December (other than individual conversations with group members) and only seen my therapist twice this year...so what better way to get back into the grove than another WoR?

Peace & Joy,
Jorge

_________________________
I found my little boy at Alta 2007...I spoke the unspeakable shame at Sequoia 2008...I learned to flounder at Alta 2009

What breakthrough can YOU have at a Weekend of Recovery?

** talk to me about WoRs or BoD or Committees **

Top
#212754 - 03/24/08 06:43 PM Re: Weekend of Recovery [Re: JorgeR]
JT Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 01/14/06
Posts: 1
A friend of mine has been to several WOR's. He gets something from each and every one of them. I know he's going to the upcoming Sequoia weekend. There are a million reasons to go and only one reason not to. Don't let fear be that one reason.


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