I will write to you
Because you have been my only constant on this journey
My unknown friend
I come here when my life is empty
When there are no thoughts
And, yet, there are......thoughts
Unspoken
A need for connection
A sort of floating in the emptiness of my abuse
So often there is nothing there
So often I am all alone
A true vacuum of feeling
It is then in my quiet panic, I know I can come here and talk to you, my friend
Oh, I know I speak to emptiness
And fill the empty whiteness here with words
Necessary words
Words that glue my life together many times
And often someone writes me back
Replies to me
A bottle washed back on the tide
Someone is there
Someone is out there listening and I am not quite as alone as once believed
It is a daily thing this loneliness
This emptiness that's left in us from our abuse
More horrible I think, at times, than all the fear
Self doubt
Self loathing.....all of that they say that we should not believe
But hold so closely to our souls
At least, when I can feel the pain, I know that I exist
But, when the emptiness sets in, I'm never sure
Or even that I want to anymore
Exist
Yet after I write here
I find that I have said something I had to say
Needed to say
Even if it was only "Help! I'm trapped here in my emptiness."
For I know that someone will hear
Almost every time
And many times will give me what I've needed most
A touch that tells me that I'm not alone

Bobby, as usual you are right on target.
this, our refuge, is where our voice is like "bread on the waters" it will not return void.
Your voice has offered a lot of comfort to my empty times and I thank you and this site for that.

Bobby,



So many times I have felt that this is exactly what I needed. It wasn't that I needed comment or advice on anything specific, and I wasn't facing any particular crisis. But there would be this deep ache inside me, almost calling out "alone". I didn't need to be fixed, I just needed to be heard, to know others were there and were listening.

Sometimes that makes all the difference.

Much love,
Larry

thanks for saying so well, what i could not.