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#198645 - 01/08/08 04:49 PM .
bardo213 Offline
Guest

Registered: 11/21/07
Posts: 811
..


Edited by bardo213 (06/21/13 04:09 PM)

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#198654 - 01/08/08 06:54 PM Re: Helping tools [Re: bardo213]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Lynch,

I have never done a WoR, but that's just because I live in Europe and it's been difficult to work one into my schedule. I would have loved to attend one.

I have done all the other options, and where books are concerned I would say the top two things to read are Mike's book and Mik Hunter's Abused Boys.

Apart from therapy, what has helped me the most has been regaining my ability and willingness to talk about things - even when I have been totally lost, just talking has been great...at least I could see I wasn't alone. That's the most important aspect of a site like this: you know lots of guys reading your posts will know exactly what you're talking about.

Signs of improvement: that's a tough one. I would suggest bearing in mind two points. The first is that an abused boy usually carries his burden for years before he faces it, so it's not something that's going to be solved in a short span of time. If you look for indications that you are doing better in the short term you probably won't find much. I always saw signs in my own recovery when I compared myself to the same time a year ago, or better, two years ago.

The other point is that "signs" of progress can be deceiving. Sometimes we are doing important and productive work, but we don't recognize it because we are hurting so bad. Progress can hurt, bro! And on other occasions it may seem like we are getting nowhere for a LONG time, and then suddenly the log-jam seems to break up. What we need to bear in mind at those moments is that all that work that seemed to be producing nothing was in fact preparing the way for the big progress we think we achieved in a second.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#198721 - 01/09/08 12:11 AM Re: Helping tools [Re: bardo213]
frost Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/15/07
Posts: 1377
Loc: Eh?
1. Therapy - this is very dependant on whether or not you have a good therapist. My first therapist was rubbish. Spent 6 months getting nowhere with him. My second and current therapist is getting me through some real progress... It's a world of difference.

2. Haven't read any besides Mike Lew so I wouldn't know!

3. WoR was a life changing experience and it has changed much more than just my every day life. It has changed my entire outlook on life.

4. Group Therapy - I'm involved in the Healing Circles and those are a truly unique experience.

5. Family & Friends - I'm getting better at letting them in.

A new newsletter is currently in the works. Have a look at the next issue for a very lengthy answer to this thread \:\)

All the best,
~Brian

_________________________
Boom!

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#198778 - 01/09/08 11:28 AM . [Re: frost]
bardo213 Offline
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Registered: 11/21/07
Posts: 811
.


Edited by bardo213 (06/21/13 04:09 PM)

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#198783 - 01/09/08 12:44 PM Re: Helping tools [Re: bardo213]
alexey Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 08/16/05
Posts: 1674
Loc: Moscow, Russia
Apart from what you named, survivor support was helping me to gain a huge momentum im my healing.

Alexey

_________________________
(\__/)
(='.'=)
E[:]|||||[:]3
(")_(")
--------
When you feel all alone and unhappy, turn to you Inner Child and talk to Him.
You will see He can comfort you like nothing else!

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#199080 - 01/11/08 07:07 PM . [Re: alexey]
bardo213 Offline
Guest

Registered: 11/21/07
Posts: 811
.


Edited by bardo213 (06/21/13 04:09 PM)

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#199083 - 01/11/08 07:12 PM Re: Helping tools [Re: bardo213]
sabata Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/08/06
Posts: 1948
Sorry---------------Cant help- am still in isolation--------------------------trying to figure out how to break out-------------------------i hope you find a way-----------------if so let me know----------------------steve


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