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#198694 - 01/08/08 10:46 PM i have decided
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2502
Loc: Denver, CO
i don't like being laughed at


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#198708 - 01/08/08 11:31 PM Re: i have decided [Re: MarkK]
TNuss Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/28/06
Posts: 202
Loc: Del-A-Ware???
MarkK, neither do I!!!

_________________________
All my best!!!

In harmony,
Troy
________________________________________________________
I hug myself daily until the day I find the embrace that completes me.

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#198714 - 01/08/08 11:51 PM Re: i have decided [Re: TNuss]
AndyJB2005 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/14/06
Posts: 1242
Loc: Saint Paul, Minnesota
Me either! And a variety of other things...

_________________________
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words. -- Calvin (Calvin and Hobbes)

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#198715 - 01/08/08 11:57 PM Re: i have decided [Re: AndyJB2005]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6401
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
I dont even like being NEAR people laughing unless I KNOW for a FACT they are not laughing at me.

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Wishing You Were Here!

The Aftermath Video

The Water Buffalo Song

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#198718 - 01/09/08 12:05 AM Re: i have decided [Re: Still]
Hauser Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/12/05
Posts: 2962
Loc: United States
I can laugh at MYSELF, but I yeah, I hear you on this.


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#198755 - 01/09/08 08:47 AM Re: i have decided [Re: Hauser]
cbfull Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/26/07
Posts: 386
Loc: Ohio
I remember feeling anger and fury boil up in me when my mother and stepfather would laugh at me at the dinner table when I was in a bad mood.

It seems to trigger my paranoia and insecurities from the abuse and what I used to think it meant about me as a person.

_________________________
Craig

Guilt and shame have never done any of us any good at all.

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#198757 - 01/09/08 08:59 AM Re: i have decided [Re: cbfull]
KENKEN Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/25/07
Posts: 762
Loc: NOTHERN COLORADO
Being laughed destroys my sense of worth. Takes me a long time to feel good about myself again.

How can people be so cruel?

_________________________
I AM A GOOD PERSON, I AM A GOOD MAN

From the Movie: Antwone Fisher

***WOR ALUMNI SEQUOIA MARCH 2008***

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#198786 - 01/09/08 12:49 PM Re: i have decided [Re: KENKEN]
alexey Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 08/16/05
Posts: 1674
Loc: Moscow, Russia
Agreed!

Alexey

_________________________
(\__/)
(='.'=)
E[:]|||||[:]3
(")_(")
--------
When you feel all alone and unhappy, turn to you Inner Child and talk to Him.
You will see He can comfort you like nothing else!

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#198969 - 01/10/08 10:39 PM Re: i have decided [Re: alexey]
GateKPR4 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/28/07
Posts: 955
Loc: North Carolina, USA
Same with me. My first abuser laughed at me and I hated it. It made me feel like there was something wrong with me. I can take a joke and join in some laughter bu t if I'm not in the know or in on it then it can trigger some pretty powerful emotions.

_________________________
I'm a normal person dealing with abnormal experiences.
The greatest discoveries we will find within ourselves.
Ricky
__m_τΏτ_m__
|| || || || || || |

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#199031 - 01/11/08 12:45 PM Re: i have decided [Re: GateKPR4]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2502
Loc: Denver, CO
it doesn't help that i perpetuate the crime against myself. i'm a pro at putting myself down - but in a manner that sounds like a joke. everyone assumes i'm kidding and people get a good laugh, while inside i'm dying one piece at a time.

knowing this hasn't helped. telling myself they're laughing with me instead of laughing at me hasn't helped. i still get triggered, still plummet to the depths of anguish.

i don't like this cycle and i know of no way out.

m


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#199036 - 01/11/08 01:07 PM Re: i have decided [Re: MarkK]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Mark,

This one's a very VERY personal issue, I think, so I'll just offer how it has affected me. For the longest time I felt like I deserved to be laughed at; I felt like such a worthless fraud at every aspect of life that it was difficult for me to see how anyone would not have a good chuckle at my expense. But if I felt that someone was actually doing it, or if a case really did come up, yes, it hurt like hell.

All I can say, Mark, is that - for me at least - this wasn't one I was able to work on by itself. I think that's because in my case the sensitivity came from abysmal self-esteem. But as my sense of self-worth improved so did my ability to handle situations where in the past I would heve felt ridiculed.

Ultimately, someone who deliberately belittles and mocks another is saying a lot about himself and nothing about his victim. As we regain a sense of perspective that becomes easier to see.

I don't say that to minimize how you feel. This is just my take on the problem and maybe it won't sound familiar to you at all.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#199054 - 01/11/08 03:44 PM Re: i have decided [Re: roadrunner]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2502
Loc: Denver, CO
Larry,

Yeah, this one is personal - i almost didn't post it, but it just hurts so much i guess maybe i needed to know other people could understand where i'm at.
Originally Posted By: roadrunner
I don't say that to minimize how you feel. This is just my take on the problem and maybe it won't sound familiar to you at all.
i didn't for a moment think it was said to minimize anything, but thanx for saying so. and familiar? yeah. one of the things my T and i have as something to "look into" - if i ever get through the current swamp...

m


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#199057 - 01/11/08 04:07 PM Re: i have decided [Re: MarkK]
mogigo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 1331
Loc: Colorado
My Dad used to laugh whenever I hurt myself, he'd use that same line Mark, "I'm not laughing at you I'm laughing with you" it's funny because I never once remember laughing when I hurt myself.

My avatar is from when I tried to ride my skateboard down the hill behind me and I wiped out and smashed my head and I started crying. The picture is being taken by my Dad as he's laughing his ass off at me. That's me not having any idea why my Dad thinks my pain is funny.

Mike

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Thriving

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#199058 - 01/11/08 04:31 PM Re: i have decided [Re: mogigo]
MarkK Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 2502
Loc: Denver, CO
yeah .. i remember Dad's laughter ..

unfortunately


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#199067 - 01/11/08 05:01 PM Re: i have decided [Re: MarkK]
mogigo Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/24/07
Posts: 1331
Loc: Colorado
Thanks Mark, what I do know now though is my Dad is a weak weak man. He could only wish to be as brave and strong as I am.

I hope you know this too Mark

Mike

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Thriving

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#199126 - 01/11/08 11:08 PM Re: i have decided [Re: MarkK]
JasonSmalls Offline
Guest

Registered: 12/01/07
Posts: 142
Loc: NJ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UwajTBh5vAY


They All Laughed


They all laughed at Christopher Columbus
When he said the world was round
They all laughed when Edison recorded sound
They all laughed at Wilbur and his brother
When they said that man could fly

They told Marconi
Wireless was a phony
It's the same old cry
They laughed at me wanting you
Said I was reaching for the moon
But oh, you came through
Now they'll have to change their tune

They all said we never could be happy
They laughed at us and how!
But ho, ho, ho!
Who's got the last laugh now?

They all laughed at Rockefeller Center
Now they're fighting to get in
They all laughed at Whitney and his cotton gin
They all laughed at Fulton and his steamboat
Hershey and his chocolate bar

Ford and his Lizzie
Kept the laughers busy
That's how people are
They laughed at me wanting you
Said it would be, "Hello, Goodbye."
But oh, you came through
Now they're eating humble pie

They all said we'd never get together
Darling, let's take a bow
For ho, ho, ho!
Who's got the last laugh?
Hee, hee, hee!
Let's at the past laugh
Ha, ha, ha!
Who's got the last laugh now?"




Edited by JasonSmalls (01/11/08 11:09 PM)

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#199138 - 01/12/08 01:30 AM Re: i have decided [Re: JasonSmalls]
TJ jeff Offline

Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 3365
Loc: Northern Wisconsin
Mike,

I'm sorry your dad laughed at you when you were in pain - my mother used to do that much too (of course she was the cause of much of the pain that had me crying in the first place)

_________________________
Who will cry for the little boy? - I will... - Antwone Fisher

Abuse happens in silence/isolation - Recovery happens only when that silence/isolation is broken...

TJ's History

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