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#198501 - 01/07/08 09:03 PM Re: Old survivors are jerks! [Re: Jarrad]
sabata Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/08/06
Posts: 1948
they didnt wash it first??????????LOL


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#198502 - 01/07/08 09:03 PM Re: Old survivors are jerks! [Re: sabata]
Jarrad Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/27/06
Posts: 1071
Loc: arizona
apprently not.


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#198522 - 01/07/08 09:59 PM Re: Old survivors are jerks! [Re: Freedom49]
KENKEN Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/25/07
Posts: 762
Loc: NOTHERN COLORADO
Jason:

I too am very sorry that someone in the chat room would make such an inconsiderate remark. My CSA happened to me almost 50 years ago so you can consider me old. But I am not an old jerk. None of us survivors can "just get over it".

I do know why you are upset. It upsets me also when I hear this from my so called friends. They are the ones who Don't Get It.

Ken

_________________________
I AM A GOOD PERSON, I AM A GOOD MAN

From the Movie: Antwone Fisher

***WOR ALUMNI SEQUOIA MARCH 2008***

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#198558 - 01/08/08 12:25 AM Re: Old survivors are jerks! [Re: KENKEN]
AndyJB2005 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/14/06
Posts: 1242
Loc: Saint Paul, Minnesota
Don't wanna be a "jerk," but...

Why couldn't they keep it between themselves and the teachers, I mean Mods. Was it necessary to bring it to all 4877 members? It was my understanding we were adults here (or close to it).

It reminds me of grade school: "I'm tellingg!"

I only say this because it doesn't bring good vibes to our place of healing.

Anyway, sorry the misunderstanding happened and your feelings were hurt.

_________________________
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words. -- Calvin (Calvin and Hobbes)

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#198717 - 01/08/08 11:59 PM Re: Old survivors are jerks! [Re: Freedom49]
mvnforwrd Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/05/07
Posts: 216
Loc: NJ
Jason,
I was in chat with you tonight and after reading this I understand where you were coming from with what you were saying about how people are insensetive. I have been depressed lately and havnt been on MS for a couple days. The last time I was in chat I had someone come into the lounge full barrel about wife/ devorce and life sucks. so I pm them and said I am also going through the same thing. There response was "I was Only kidding". nothing to do with what happened to you but now after reading your post I truely understand why you were making the comments tonight about not talking to people in a chat room. But yet face to face is the way to go because you can see there body language. Sorry I didnt know wherer you were going in the lounge tonight but now I do . MVN4WRD

_________________________
Take your foot out of yesterday and your other foot out of tomorro or you will keep pissing allover today!

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#198878 - 01/10/08 01:44 AM Re: Old survivors are jerks! [Re: Jarrad]
frost Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/15/07
Posts: 1377
Loc: Eh?
Originally Posted By: Jarrad
i love when people hang dirty laundry on the public line.


jarrad, you have a talent with words.

_________________________
Boom!

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#199351 - 01/13/08 10:06 PM Re: Old survivors are jerks! [Re: Jarrad]
weapher Offline
Guest

Registered: 12/10/07
Posts: 60
Loc: Oregon
Regardless of the "get over it" phrase or not the bottom line is that Jason Smalls perceived that a member of the site was implying to move on. That is a very difficult thing to do...we all know that. I hope his post doesn't turn into a debate over what the other member said or didn't say and can stay focused on him and the needs he is sharing!

Jason, hang in there and know that at some times during the healing process, as with just normal life, we will be blown away by other people and what they say to us. And on other days what others say may just wash off of our backs. The process of healing is long and for the most part touches on all of the emotions we deal with as human beings. We are in a state of change and growth and the process is arduous at best...

Remember, not everyone communicates in a sensitive way and if someone speaks to you in an insensitive way remember that there are hundreds more on this site who understand and appreciate you and your struggles.

Hang on to yourself, be strong, and remember that not everyone we encounter here or in the rest of the world will always tell us what we want to here... and sometimes we may just be perceiving it to mean something that it may not mean. Next time take a moment to get yourself together and simply ask the fellow member if what you heard was what they really meant... I know that I have solved many a conflict once I cleared my head and got all of what the other person was trying to say.

BTW, I too am an "old" guy and have been dealing with the struggles of abuse for over thirty two years... You don't ever just "get over it"

Hang tough
weapher

_________________________
Facing the struggle makes you strong.

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#240962 - 07/29/08 10:55 AM Re: Old survivors are jerks! [Re: JasonSmalls]
petercorbett Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/27/08
Posts: 2433
Loc: TEXAS
Hey, I'm just 69 years young, and have been dealing with this all my life, I am now just trying to come to terms with all those dep memories and flashbacks, go easy on us old timers. I need your support too, I'll give you mine. Heal well my friend.

_________________________
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
____________________________________________________________
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.


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#240973 - 07/29/08 12:08 PM Re: Old survivors are jerks! [Re: petercorbett]
hogan_dawg Offline
Guest

Registered: 03/26/08
Posts: 492
I can't comment for old guys. I'm 46 though and I listen to many of them.

For me, the benefit of hearing from old survivors that have been dealing with it for x number of years, is that we gain an appreciation of the gravity of the abuse, and we discover that barring miraculous spontaneous recovery, life can go on even though we are still recovering. So even if it's a lifelong process, it is possible to live through it and even thrive.

_________________________
I can say unequivocally that the lie of "To truly heal you must first forgive" has derailed more victims than the abusers themselves.
Andrew Vachs, 2003

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#242731 - 08/06/08 09:00 AM Re: Old survivors are jerks! [Re: JasonSmalls]
petercorbett Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/27/08
Posts: 2433
Loc: TEXAS
Hi Jason,
It's one of those OLD SURVIVORS, but too old to be a jerk. Be glad that you're young, and that you are dealing with it at a young age, sorry to say but us OLD (jerks) have kept our SECRET for far too long. It has destroyed our youth just like you, but it had moulded me to be a less than "normal" person, I get pissed off real quick, I don't let anyone get too close to me, my wife & son don't REALLY know me or my SECRET. But now, right now there is no more running away from myself, I'm going to have my first visit with my military mental health doctor, so this BOY crying inside can come out. If you are interested you can go to the survivor stories page and click on My SECRET my Story and you'll see that us OLD survivors aren't all JERKS. You have my best wishes in dealing and coping with our stolen youth. You have this old jerk's support.
Pete

_________________________
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
____________________________________________________________
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.


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