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#198335 - 01/06/08 11:57 PM Sexualized dreams (Possible trigger)
Danbuff Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/03/07
Posts: 249
Loc: NY state
I have changed my original detailed post to a simple question. Because I experienced a sexualized dream that depicted myself being rejected sexually, I was somewhat upset over having it. I never had this type of experience in my life...

I am curious if othe CSA survivors do or do not have erotic or sexualized dreams. This was more like a nightmare. Any thoughts or comments are welcomed.
Thanks,
Dan




Edited by Danbuff (01/07/08 07:55 AM)

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#198402 - 01/07/08 11:53 AM Re: Sexualized dreams (Possible trigger) [Re: Danbuff]
cbfull Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/26/07
Posts: 386
Loc: Ohio
I have them, but not very often. They usually involve some form of rejection, but not necessarily a painful sort.

Can you describe the rejection a little more? Are you referring to a "sexualized" relationship that left you feeling abandoned?

_________________________
Craig

Guilt and shame have never done any of us any good at all.

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#198409 - 01/07/08 12:26 PM Re: Sexualized dreams (Possible trigger) [Re: cbfull]
Danbuff Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/03/07
Posts: 249
Loc: NY state
CB, thanks and yes actually, I did feel rejection and disappointment. The disappointment was on some level in the person I knew . I also have to recognize that if it represents those things, it also represents his humaness. The rejection from the guy who was not interested was understood, but that he went for my friend was upsetting.... I have at times fantasized about my friend but never went there and cannot go there. I love and respect my friend more than I deire him.

I have never had anything happen like this. The timing is somewhat significant beacuse I have had a lot of anxiety over sexual behaviors and rejection. Ialso know I was aroused by it so it was a double edged sword so to speak. It was just weird and unfamiliar.

I was upset but have let it go with a decision that it does not necessarily mean anything unless I decide to make that choice. I wondered if other survivors have experienced similar and if it somehow connects to healing. I was very shaken by it when it happened.

_________________________
When you stumble, make it part of the dance.

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#198417 - 01/07/08 02:25 PM Re: Sexualized dreams (Possible trigger) [Re: Danbuff]
cbfull Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/26/07
Posts: 386
Loc: Ohio
Oooh, that does sound upsetting. It's one thing to flirt and even hit on someone and be turned down in our situation, especially if we are acting out. But if the individual then accepts and even returns the flirtations of someone else (another male), then I have to say that sounds quite upsetting.

For, I guess because I was abused by a "hetero" male, I get painful crushes on other hetero males. What is more painful to me (mostly because of memory) is if I find them hitting on females. For me there is nothing more painful. It feels like the ultimate rejection that hurts me on the deepest level I know. I don't really understand it, but then again I have never really taken a look at it while I am not fearing it.

The only dreams I remember having about this sort of thing, and waking up upset, was when I was dating this dude who had lower self-esteem than I. He was always distant with me and would never talk about his feelings. I remember having dreams that I would see him on dates with friends of mine, but then deny that it was a date. "We're just friends, you're overreacting" he said to me in the dream.

Wow, I can't believe I remember that dream. That was more than ten years ago! I guess I can relate.

Craig

Probably worth discussing with my T.

_________________________
Craig

Guilt and shame have never done any of us any good at all.

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