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#198351 - 01/07/08 02:03 AM Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation
Coach Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/05/07
Posts: 29
Loc: California
Is there a forum that has been specifically setup to allow those of us to communicate?

Let's do it!

Coach


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#198361 - 01/07/08 04:55 AM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: Coach]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Coach,

I would suggest you start your thread here. Most of the guys on the site were abused when they were prepubescent, and I imagine you will get quite a few responses to your topic.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#198369 - 01/07/08 06:29 AM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: roadrunner]
sabata Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/08/06
Posts: 1948
I Was 8 or 9 when my abuse of my older brother started-----------------but----------things were very wrong in my family-at the very beginning----------------steve


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#198372 - 01/07/08 06:48 AM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: sabata]
des6263 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 09/15/06
Posts: 137
Loc: midwest, US
I was 10 when my older brother abused me.
my younger brother was 8

_________________________
May the Flames of Truth Burn Bright

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#198380 - 01/07/08 09:04 AM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: des6263]
Lazarus Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/01/07
Posts: 851
Loc: Below the radar, USA
Coach; I was 4 when I was molested by a neighbor, 7 when I was raped by an uncle, 8 when my Teacher started abusing me... What is it you'd like to discuss?

Lazarus

_________________________
"That which does not kill us, surely makes us stonger." - Neitsche

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#198385 - 01/07/08 09:54 AM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: Lazarus]
AndyJB2005 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/14/06
Posts: 1245
Loc: Saint Paul, Minnesota
I was abused by my dad at age 5? - 10...could've happened before 5 and I don't remember.

What's up?

_________________________
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words. -- Calvin (Calvin and Hobbes)

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#198396 - 01/07/08 10:56 AM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: AndyJB2005]
alexey Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 08/16/05
Posts: 1674
Loc: Moscow, Russia
Coach,

I can contribute to your great thread too. My little brother was with me when I was being orally raped and variously hurt nd beaten by militry guys. I was 10 then, and he was 7. I think that could damage him quite strongly. The f*cking b*tches did not rape him, only touched maybe, and that is better. He is having issues. You are not alone with your problem.

Alexey

_________________________
(\__/)
(='.'=)
E[:]|||||[:]3
(")_(")
--------
When you feel all alone and unhappy, turn to you Inner Child and talk to Him.
You will see He can comfort you like nothing else!

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#198411 - 01/07/08 01:05 PM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: alexey]
TJ jeff Offline

Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 3441
Loc: Northern Wisconsin
Coach,

the S/A started for me around age 4

This forum can be a good place to talk about prepubescent issues - many many guys here understand

We'll talk with you - just let us know what it is you want to talk about

TJ jeff

_________________________
Who will cry for the little boy? - I will... - Antwone Fisher

Abuse happens in silence/isolation - Recovery happens only when that silence/isolation is broken...

TJ's History

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#198412 - 01/07/08 01:29 PM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: TJ jeff]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 7011
Loc: FEMA Region 1
Coach,

For me it was older boys who used me like meat.


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#198418 - 01/07/08 02:35 PM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: Still]
buzz_key Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/31/07
Posts: 635
Loc: USA
Coach,

I was abused by both parents from infancy through 6 yrs old and then by just my dad from 9 until 17 yrs.old


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#198425 - 01/07/08 03:47 PM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: buzz_key]
melliferal Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/03/05
Posts: 1159
I was 10ish when my abuse occurred.

_________________________
Children cannot consent; they can only comply.

Oprah's resources for male survivors

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#198426 - 01/07/08 03:49 PM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: buzz_key]
lostcowboy Offline
Member

Registered: 11/10/04
Posts: 798
Loc: Rhode Island
Hi Coach, I was raped at knife point when I was 11 years old by a older boy who was a stranger. It took place in a public restroom in a park. That was in 1968.

Take care,
Clifford

_________________________
"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend." - Albert Camus
Pretty much my life as I have posted so far. Triggers!

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#198427 - 01/07/08 04:01 PM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: buzz_key]
dancr6 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/02/07
Posts: 383
Loc: georgia
a trusted neighbor 6-7 years
created a lifetime of alienation.

_________________________
I'm a freeman now, his authority's dead
no pain monger lies in my comfortable bed!

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#198445 - 01/07/08 06:26 PM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: dancr6]
tartugas Offline
Board Member
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 02/11/07
Posts: 513
Loc: NYC
Coach,

I was between 8 and 10 years old when it happened. Unfortunately, I don't actually remember how old I actually was (abuse occurred twice at the hands of a man who lived in my neighborhood), as I can't yet piece together the memories that specifically. I remember the incident, but I can't remember enough about me at that time to know how old I actually was.

Feel free to PM me if you have something you need to share with someone privately.

_________________________
"I am not a mechanism, an assembly of various sections.
And it is not because the mechanism is working wrongly, that I am ill.
I am ill because of wounds to the soul, to the deep emotional self...."
Healing D.H. Lawrence

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#198525 - 01/07/08 10:08 PM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: buzz_key]
KENKEN Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/25/07
Posts: 762
Loc: NOTHERN COLORADO
My older brother of 3 years abused me b/4 I knew what sex was all about.

Ken

_________________________
I AM A GOOD PERSON, I AM A GOOD MAN

From the Movie: Antwone Fisher

***WOR ALUMNI SEQUOIA MARCH 2008***

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#198574 - 01/08/08 04:13 AM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: buzz_key]
Coach Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/05/07
Posts: 29
Loc: California
TJ Jeff and others,

Likewise, the abuse started at an early age and continued for approximately 13 years. I have a hard time coming up with the statement or question I want to ask. I wonder how other people deal with life when their innocence has been taken at such an early age? I'm specifically thinking infancy/toddler abuse.

I'm not certain as to the actual time frame when this began to occur towards me. I know that my uncle had gotten released from his second prison sentence for similiar crimes and started his exploits on me.

Perhaps, further thoughts or questions from you will help me develop more of my concerns.

Thanks


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#198579 - 01/08/08 06:12 AM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: Coach]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Coach,

I was abused beginning when I was 10; it lasted until I was 14. There are guys here who were abused as toddlers, and perhaps they will join in here as well.

One of the areas we have to work on as survivors is that of our feelings now about the abuse. Can you talk about that yet? If not, that's okay. Take your time.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#198662 - 01/08/08 07:57 PM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation *DELETED* [Re: roadrunner]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2724
Loc: Washington State
Post deleted by Freedom49


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#198724 - 01/09/08 12:33 AM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: Freedom49]
Coach Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/05/07
Posts: 29
Loc: California
Roadrunner,

I can talk feelings.

Coach


Top
#198807 - 01/09/08 03:13 PM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: Coach]
TJ jeff Offline

Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 3441
Loc: Northern Wisconsin
Quote:
I wonder how other people deal with life when their innocence has been taken at such an early age?


Coach,

I was so young when it first started happening - it was just games to me - I very much enjoyed that someone older would take the time to actualy pay attention to me - that they wanted to play with me - it was attention that I was looking for - it's exactly what my uncle gave to me - it was an emmotional void that was not being filled by my parents at all - my uncle filled that void - as a small child I had no way of knowing that the games he wanted to play were wrong - all I knew was that he was paying attention to me - that the things he did to my body felt good - I had no way of knowing that it would continue on for years - I had no way of knowing that it would'nt always feel so good - I did'nt know that there would come a time when I would'nt want to do it anymore - I did'nt know the many years of shame and confussion I'd have to live through - I did'nt know - I did'nt know - I did'nt know (and that is a very hard thing for me to remember now that I am an adult)

I spent many years thinking that all persons who payed any amount of real attention to me would want to use me for sexual things - because of that I shied away from just about everyone - became a real "loner" all throughout school and into early adulthood - I spent many many years feeling that there was something wrong with me (not understanding that what was wrong really lied within the abuser - not me)

it is only through working on my recovery with a T and others here in this site that I have been able to understand that the child that I was always was innocent - it was the abuser that stole it from me

TJ jeff

_________________________
Who will cry for the little boy? - I will... - Antwone Fisher

Abuse happens in silence/isolation - Recovery happens only when that silence/isolation is broken...

TJ's History

Top
#428047 - 03/14/13 04:30 PM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: Coach]
BuffaloCO Offline


Registered: 07/14/12
Posts: 480
Loc: USA
By the time I was around 8, 5 men had used me. Another tried but did not get away with it. That put my programming in place even into college, where profs also had their fun. But I got into T and am not being played anymore. Will get back to school and this time will be safe.
_________________________
“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark. The real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.” - Plato

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#428048 - 03/14/13 04:47 PM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: BuffaloCO]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA


Edited by pufferfish (03/14/13 04:48 PM)

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#428049 - 03/14/13 04:52 PM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: pufferfish]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA

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#428052 - 03/14/13 06:00 PM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: Coach]
SoccerStar Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 925
Loc: New York
"Matt and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day," starring me aged 8.
_________________________
My story

"Don't think it hasn't been a little slice of Heaven just because it hasn't!" --Bugs Bunny

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#428056 - 03/14/13 06:21 PM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: Coach]
bodyguard8367 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
""


Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/26/14 09:33 PM)
Edit Reason: SILENCED

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#428059 - 03/14/13 06:54 PM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: Coach]
Farmer Boy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/23/12
Posts: 442
Loc: Australia
Me...I was 3 when it first started and about 6 when it got really bad. For me there is no before. I always was and am trying hard not to continue to be a sexual play thing for other males.

By 6 I was well trained and that was just the beginning..... puberty bought with it a whole new set of problems.

Lee
_________________________
More than meets the eye!

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#428070 - 03/14/13 08:43 PM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: Farmer Boy]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
I was still 3 also. Victimization at that age caused dissociative disorder and a lot of other symptoms.

Puffer

Top
#428076 - 03/14/13 09:04 PM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: Coach]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3774
Loc: somewhere in Africa
started at 5 1/2 and continued till 13 - so both pre- and also during puberty. another incident at about 15-16 after i thought it was over. still in the same unhealthy atmosphere until 18, though no overt activity.
_________________________
We are often troubled, but not crushed;
sometimes in doubt, but never in despair;
there are many enemies, but we are never without a friend;
and though badly hurt at times, we are not destroyed.
- Paul, II Cor 4:8-9



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#428088 - 03/14/13 10:55 PM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: Coach]
lapchinj Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1392
Loc: New York
Peace,Rainbows & Healing


Edited by lapchinj (03/17/13 10:19 AM)
_________________________
Stick around, It will get better....

Top
#428104 - 03/15/13 12:32 AM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: Coach]
Jacob S Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/01/13
Posts: 617
Loc: where the shadows lie
I don't f*cking know right now. The feelings are all outside the black box, the source is still wrapped up inside. Sometimes I feel like I remember less but hurt more as time goes on.
_________________________
I come here now, and I see lots of anger.
I don't blame anyone for that. It is perfectly understandable.
But it is not healthy for me.
So I'm going somewhere else.

Goodbye and good healing.

Top
#428111 - 03/15/13 01:53 AM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: Coach]
crazy gecko Offline


Registered: 10/04/12
Posts: 309
Physical abuse was from before I can remember. Sexual abuse by my father started at around 4 and continued until he went to prison (Not CSA related) when I was 13. By then I was already well into puberty, and yup, that changed everything. Foster father also resorted to sexual abuse when I was 16...

Edit: I should learn to add... that some time before I reached puberty, there was also some sexual abuse from my older brother. (Damn, that was hard to type out...)


Edited by crazy gecko (03/15/13 01:53 AM)
_________________________
I guess what I'm trying to say
Is whose life is it anyway because livin'
Living is the best revenge
You can play
-- Def Leppard

My Story, Part 2

My blog

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#428113 - 03/15/13 02:42 AM . [Re: Jacob S]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (04/21/13 10:48 PM)

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#428272 - 03/16/13 11:25 PM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: Coach]
Chase Eric Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 2013
I was twelve, my sister was seven and most of the other victims - all girls - were 7-8. The molester was a next door boy of 16. Always sexual intercourse, never oral. I spent my childhood trying to keep him off my little sister while at the same time keeping everyone's secrets - mine, my sister's and my molester's.

It took me years to learn the damage it caused. It taught me to carry a significant sense of self-doubt, to compulsively keep secrets even when there was absolutely no dishonesty or need to do so, and to quietly allow others to step into the power positions in my life. See my thread on Patterns for an example.
_________________________



Click my pic to see why I'm here.

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#428274 - 03/17/13 12:01 AM . [Re: Chase Eric]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (04/21/13 10:51 PM)

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#485065 - 07/05/15 10:17 PM Re: . [Re: Coach]
gettingstronger Offline


Registered: 09/24/13
Posts: 271
Loc: Virginia
Out of curiosity, I went to the "who's online" page and saw that an anonymous person was looking at this thread. Thank you, whoever you are! I didn't know it was here as the last post was a few years ago.

My own little slice of hell began at about age six. Then molestation, bullying, all sorts of issues happening all at once, both in and outside home, and undiagnosed ADD. By high school, I had experienced severe sexual damage from a husband and wife (age 6,) then serial molestation for years from an older neighborhood boy (until about 13?) followed by an unsuccessful attempt made by a much older male neighbor while I was in high school. But yeah, my entire CONCEPT of sex, the human body, intimacy, male friendship, trust, power, volition, and on and on either ceased to exist (around the time of the first incident at age 6) or were just disfigured beyond belief.

So, so much to work on....

Bob


Edited by gettingstronger (07/05/15 10:23 PM)
_________________________
If you have to rebuild yourself from the ground up, you get to do it the right way this time. And YOU'RE the builder.

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#485100 - 07/06/15 05:50 PM Re: . [Re: Coach]
lapchinj Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1392
Loc: New York
Hey Bob

Yes, I also had a long history of abuse and there is a lot to work on but at least we made it here with a bunch of great guys willing to help

Unfortunately for LADD who's avatar you see just before your entry didn't make it, RIP.

Good luck

Peace, Rainbows, Love, Healing & Hope
<3 XOXO
Jeff
_________________________
Stick around, It will get better....

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#485110 - 07/06/15 10:53 PM Re: . [Re: Coach]
BuffaloCO Offline


Registered: 07/14/12
Posts: 480
Loc: USA
Trafficked ages 5 to 9 as I was traded around between 7 men, and my pattern was set after that till I found my "T". I am no longer defined by them, what they did or what they tried to convince me I was by what they said. I AM FREE.
_________________________
“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark. The real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.” - Plato

Top
#485242 - 07/08/15 04:18 PM Re: . [Re: Coach]
Nothing Man Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/10/14
Posts: 795
Loc: Ohio
I was raped once at about age 8, and then serially molested by my mother for years afterwards. She was also physically and psychologically abusive -- she was a real treat.
_________________________
Suisse et libre

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#485272 - 07/09/15 10:11 AM Re: . [Re: Coach]
lapchinj Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1392
Loc: New York

Sorry BuffaloCO and NM, To be abused as such a young age really, really, really hurts me terribly. I've looked at my grandsons that live upstairs from me starting when the oldest was 6 and the second 5. Now their 10 and 9 respectively and I can't even look at them anymore. To know that kids that young and so full of life and joy can lose their souls and childhoods to abuse and the depravity of others is beyond my comprehension. I have a hard time wrapping my head around all that. The looks on their faces as their souls are damaged and their childhoods taken away from them continually haunt me. I'm so sorry that anyone that young can have their souls and childhoods taken away at such a young age.

Buff, I'm so happy that you have been able to come to terms with your abuse. But unfortunately like a car that was in a big accident, even though the car has been fixed in a body shop it will never be the same. Your childhood has been taken away and your soul damaged even though you have been set free you aren't the way you came out of the factory when you were born.

I'm so really sorry that I had to witness first hand all that you both went through.

((((( hugs )))))

Peace, Rainbows, Love, Healing & Hope
<3 XOXO
Jeff
_________________________
Stick around, It will get better....

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#485273 - 07/09/15 10:29 AM Re: . [Re: lapchinj]
Jay1946 Offline


Registered: 08/08/13
Posts: 136
Loc: Miami, Florida, USA
Originally Posted By: lapchinj

I've looked at my grandsons that live upstairs from me starting when the oldest was 6 and the second 5. Now their 10 and 9 respectively and I can't even look at them anymore. To know that kids that young and so full of life and joy can lose their souls and childhoods to abuse and the depravity of others is beyond my comprehension.


Jeff:

For me too, seeing my grandchildren and, witnessing, through them, the innocence of childhood, has jolted me into understanding the severe damage that even one incident of sexual abuse can cause in a child. Let alone many years of it.

_________________________
Jay

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#485298 - 07/10/15 09:54 AM Re: . [Re: Coach]
lapchinj Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1392
Loc: New York
Hey Jay

I've read about horrible reactions that need a lot of support that was the result of only one incident of CSA or ASA. We're here for you. It's a funny (not ha ha funny) thing about pain is that it always finds a way to fester. The longer the person waits to start therapy that infection becomes harder and harder to deal with.

Just yesterday I noticed a couple of 13 year olds walking around in the parking lot by the bus company I work for and trying to get a glimpse of what the mechanics are working on. There was a blond kid there which caught my attention and I looked at those 4-5 kids and I thought to myself, shit that's the size I was when I was already in the game (prostitution). It sure brings the reality of what happened to me into focus. Scarey.

I'm going to try and engage myself with my 10 year old grandson in a game of cards (war) and see how it goes. My T has been trying to get me out of my dungeon. Lets see if I can handle something as simple as playing cards across the table from me.

Peace, Rainbows, Love, Healing & Hope
<3 XOXO
Jeff
_________________________
Stick around, It will get better....

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#485299 - 07/10/15 10:30 AM Re: . [Re: lapchinj]
Jay1946 Offline


Registered: 08/08/13
Posts: 136
Loc: Miami, Florida, USA
Originally Posted By: lapchinj
I'm going to try and engage myself with my 10 year old grandson in a game of cards (war) and see how it goes. My T has been trying to get me out of my dungeon. Lets see if I can handle something as simple as playing cards across the table from me.


I hope you can do it, because it will open you to a whole new world of enjoyment. Take courage from the fact that you've been able to overcome a very very difficult childhood.

_________________________
Jay

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#485300 - 07/10/15 11:58 AM Re: . [Re: Coach]
Obi Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1570
Loc: kansas
Good luck with that, Jeff.
_________________________
live another day. climb a little higher.

my story

my vlog

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#485444 - 07/13/15 04:26 PM Re: . [Re: Coach]
lapchinj Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1392
Loc: New York

sorry guys

The kids went to New Jersey for the weekend. I probably wouldn't have gone through with it anyway.

You can say whatever you want but I'm still a loser.

Peace, Rainbows, Love, Healing & Hope
<3 XOXO
Jeff
_________________________
Stick around, It will get better....

Top
#485445 - 07/13/15 04:37 PM Re: . [Re: Coach]
Obi Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1570
Loc: kansas
so then we'll be losers together.
_________________________
live another day. climb a little higher.

my story

my vlog

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#485485 - 07/14/15 03:09 PM Re: . [Re: Coach]
Nothing Man Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 04/10/14
Posts: 795
Loc: Ohio
Jeff, you are a good, good man and I would never call you a loser or anything else derogatory. You have great strength: You are a survivor and your children and grandchildren are your legacy you will leave behind.

(((Hugs))) to you.

Mike
_________________________
Suisse et libre

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