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#198351 - 01/07/08 02:03 AM Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation
Coach Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/05/07
Posts: 28
Loc: California
Is there a forum that has been specifically setup to allow those of us to communicate?

Let's do it!

Coach


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#198361 - 01/07/08 04:55 AM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: Coach]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Coach,

I would suggest you start your thread here. Most of the guys on the site were abused when they were prepubescent, and I imagine you will get quite a few responses to your topic.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

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#198369 - 01/07/08 06:29 AM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: roadrunner]
sabata Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/08/06
Posts: 1948
I Was 8 or 9 when my abuse of my older brother started-----------------but----------things were very wrong in my family-at the very beginning----------------steve


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#198372 - 01/07/08 06:48 AM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: sabata]
des6263 Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 09/15/06
Posts: 137
Loc: midwest, US
I was 10 when my older brother abused me.
my younger brother was 8

_________________________
May the Flames of Truth Burn Bright

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#198380 - 01/07/08 09:04 AM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: des6263]
Lazarus Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/01/07
Posts: 851
Loc: Below the radar, USA
Coach; I was 4 when I was molested by a neighbor, 7 when I was raped by an uncle, 8 when my Teacher started abusing me... What is it you'd like to discuss?

Lazarus

_________________________
"That which does not kill us, surely makes us stonger." - Neitsche

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#198385 - 01/07/08 09:54 AM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: Lazarus]
AndyJB2005 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/14/06
Posts: 1242
Loc: Saint Paul, Minnesota
I was abused by my dad at age 5? - 10...could've happened before 5 and I don't remember.

What's up?

_________________________
Life's disappointments are harder to take when you don't know any swear words. -- Calvin (Calvin and Hobbes)

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#198396 - 01/07/08 10:56 AM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: AndyJB2005]
alexey Offline
Moderator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 08/16/05
Posts: 1674
Loc: Moscow, Russia
Coach,

I can contribute to your great thread too. My little brother was with me when I was being orally raped and variously hurt nd beaten by militry guys. I was 10 then, and he was 7. I think that could damage him quite strongly. The f*cking b*tches did not rape him, only touched maybe, and that is better. He is having issues. You are not alone with your problem.

Alexey

_________________________
(\__/)
(='.'=)
E[:]|||||[:]3
(")_(")
--------
When you feel all alone and unhappy, turn to you Inner Child and talk to Him.
You will see He can comfort you like nothing else!

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#198411 - 01/07/08 01:05 PM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: alexey]
TJ jeff Offline

Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 3368
Loc: Northern Wisconsin
Coach,

the S/A started for me around age 4

This forum can be a good place to talk about prepubescent issues - many many guys here understand

We'll talk with you - just let us know what it is you want to talk about

TJ jeff

_________________________
Who will cry for the little boy? - I will... - Antwone Fisher

Abuse happens in silence/isolation - Recovery happens only when that silence/isolation is broken...

TJ's History

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#198412 - 01/07/08 01:29 PM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: TJ jeff]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6422
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
Coach,

For me it was older boys who used me like meat.

_________________________
This nation has lost its mind!

The Aftermath Video

The Water Buffalo Song

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#198418 - 01/07/08 02:35 PM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: Still]
buzz_key Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/31/07
Posts: 635
Loc: USA
Coach,

I was abused by both parents from infancy through 6 yrs old and then by just my dad from 9 until 17 yrs.old


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#198425 - 01/07/08 03:47 PM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: buzz_key]
melliferal Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/03/05
Posts: 1159
I was 10ish when my abuse occurred.

_________________________
Children cannot consent; they can only comply.

Oprah's resources for male survivors

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#198426 - 01/07/08 03:49 PM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: buzz_key]
lostcowboy Offline
Member

Registered: 11/10/04
Posts: 797
Loc: North Texas
Hi Coach, I was raped at knife point when I was 11 years old by a older boy who was a stranger. It took place in a public restroom in a park. That was in 1968.

Take care,
Clifford

_________________________
"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend." - Albert Camus
Pretty much my life as I have posted so far. Triggers!

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#198427 - 01/07/08 04:01 PM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: buzz_key]
dancr6 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/02/07
Posts: 383
Loc: georgia
a trusted neighbor 6-7 years
created a lifetime of alienation.

_________________________
I'm a freeman now, his authority's dead
no pain monger lies in my comfortable bed!

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#198445 - 01/07/08 06:26 PM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: dancr6]
tartugas Offline
Board Member
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 02/11/07
Posts: 513
Loc: NYC
Coach,

I was between 8 and 10 years old when it happened. Unfortunately, I don't actually remember how old I actually was (abuse occurred twice at the hands of a man who lived in my neighborhood), as I can't yet piece together the memories that specifically. I remember the incident, but I can't remember enough about me at that time to know how old I actually was.

Feel free to PM me if you have something you need to share with someone privately.

_________________________
"I am not a mechanism, an assembly of various sections.
And it is not because the mechanism is working wrongly, that I am ill.
I am ill because of wounds to the soul, to the deep emotional self...."
Healing D.H. Lawrence

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#198525 - 01/07/08 10:08 PM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: buzz_key]
KENKEN Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 09/25/07
Posts: 762
Loc: NOTHERN COLORADO
My older brother of 3 years abused me b/4 I knew what sex was all about.

Ken

_________________________
I AM A GOOD PERSON, I AM A GOOD MAN

From the Movie: Antwone Fisher

***WOR ALUMNI SEQUOIA MARCH 2008***

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#198574 - 01/08/08 04:13 AM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: buzz_key]
Coach Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/05/07
Posts: 28
Loc: California
TJ Jeff and others,

Likewise, the abuse started at an early age and continued for approximately 13 years. I have a hard time coming up with the statement or question I want to ask. I wonder how other people deal with life when their innocence has been taken at such an early age? I'm specifically thinking infancy/toddler abuse.

I'm not certain as to the actual time frame when this began to occur towards me. I know that my uncle had gotten released from his second prison sentence for similiar crimes and started his exploits on me.

Perhaps, further thoughts or questions from you will help me develop more of my concerns.

Thanks


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#198579 - 01/08/08 06:12 AM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: Coach]
roadrunner Offline
Administrator Emeritus
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/02/05
Posts: 22045
Loc: Carlisle, PA
Coach,

I was abused beginning when I was 10; it lasted until I was 14. There are guys here who were abused as toddlers, and perhaps they will join in here as well.

One of the areas we have to work on as survivors is that of our feelings now about the abuse. Can you talk about that yet? If not, that's okay. Take your time.

Much love,
Larry

_________________________
Nobody living can ever stop me
As I go walking my freedom highway.
Nobody living can make me turn back:
This land was made for you and me.
(Woody Guthrie)

Top
#198662 - 01/08/08 07:57 PM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation *DELETED* [Re: roadrunner]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
Post deleted by Freedom49


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#198724 - 01/09/08 12:33 AM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: Freedom49]
Coach Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/05/07
Posts: 28
Loc: California
Roadrunner,

I can talk feelings.

Coach


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#198807 - 01/09/08 03:13 PM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: Coach]
TJ jeff Offline

Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 3368
Loc: Northern Wisconsin
Quote:
I wonder how other people deal with life when their innocence has been taken at such an early age?


Coach,

I was so young when it first started happening - it was just games to me - I very much enjoyed that someone older would take the time to actualy pay attention to me - that they wanted to play with me - it was attention that I was looking for - it's exactly what my uncle gave to me - it was an emmotional void that was not being filled by my parents at all - my uncle filled that void - as a small child I had no way of knowing that the games he wanted to play were wrong - all I knew was that he was paying attention to me - that the things he did to my body felt good - I had no way of knowing that it would continue on for years - I had no way of knowing that it would'nt always feel so good - I did'nt know that there would come a time when I would'nt want to do it anymore - I did'nt know the many years of shame and confussion I'd have to live through - I did'nt know - I did'nt know - I did'nt know (and that is a very hard thing for me to remember now that I am an adult)

I spent many years thinking that all persons who payed any amount of real attention to me would want to use me for sexual things - because of that I shied away from just about everyone - became a real "loner" all throughout school and into early adulthood - I spent many many years feeling that there was something wrong with me (not understanding that what was wrong really lied within the abuser - not me)

it is only through working on my recovery with a T and others here in this site that I have been able to understand that the child that I was always was innocent - it was the abuser that stole it from me

TJ jeff

_________________________
Who will cry for the little boy? - I will... - Antwone Fisher

Abuse happens in silence/isolation - Recovery happens only when that silence/isolation is broken...

TJ's History

Top
#428047 - 03/14/13 04:30 PM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: Coach]
BuffaloCO Offline


Registered: 07/14/12
Posts: 422
Loc: USA
By the time I was around 8, 5 men had used me. Another tried but did not get away with it. That put my programming in place even into college, where profs also had their fun. But I got into T and am not being played anymore. Will get back to school and this time will be safe.
_________________________
“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark. The real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.” - Plato

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#428048 - 03/14/13 04:47 PM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: BuffaloCO]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6867
Loc: USA


Edited by pufferfish (03/14/13 04:48 PM)

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#428049 - 03/14/13 04:52 PM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: pufferfish]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6867
Loc: USA

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#428052 - 03/14/13 06:00 PM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: Coach]
SoccerStar Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 915
Loc: New York
"Matt and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day," starring me aged 8.
_________________________
My story

"Don't think it hasn't been a little slice of heaven just because it hasn't!" --Bugs Bunny

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#428056 - 03/14/13 06:21 PM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: Coach]
bodyguard8367 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/16/12
Posts: 1159
Loc: ""
""


Edited by bodyguard8367 (02/26/14 09:33 PM)
Edit Reason: SILENCED

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#428059 - 03/14/13 06:54 PM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: Coach]
Farmer Boy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/23/12
Posts: 442
Loc: Australia
Me...I was 3 when it first started and about 6 when it got really bad. For me there is no before. I always was and am trying hard not to continue to be a sexual play thing for other males.

By 6 I was well trained and that was just the beginning..... puberty bought with it a whole new set of problems.

Lee
_________________________
More than meets the eye!

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#428070 - 03/14/13 08:43 PM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: Farmer Boy]
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6867
Loc: USA
I was still 3 also. Victimization at that age caused dissociative disorder and a lot of other symptoms.

Puffer

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#428076 - 03/14/13 09:04 PM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: Coach]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3396
Loc: somewhere in Africa
started at 5 1/2 and continued till 13 - so both pre- and also during puberty. another incident at about 15-16 after i thought it was over. still in the same unhealthy atmosphere until 18, though no overt activity.
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#428088 - 03/14/13 10:55 PM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: Coach]
lapchinj Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1197
Loc: New York
Peace,Rainbows & Healing


Edited by lapchinj (03/17/13 10:19 AM)
_________________________
Stick around, It will get better....

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#428104 - 03/15/13 12:32 AM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: Coach]
Jacob S Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/01/13
Posts: 594
I don't f*cking know right now. The feelings are all outside the black box, the source is still wrapped up inside. Sometimes I feel like I remember less but hurt more as time goes on.
_________________________
Like a spent gladiator
crawling in the colosseum dust
who can count on his remaining limbs
all the people he can trust.
Like the one who stands behind him
cheering him on
Estatic when he stands defiant,
wild with abandon when he's gone

just stay alive.
do whatever you need to.
you are worth it.

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#428111 - 03/15/13 01:53 AM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: Coach]
crazy gecko Offline


Registered: 10/04/12
Posts: 309
Physical abuse was from before I can remember. Sexual abuse by my father started at around 4 and continued until he went to prison (Not CSA related) when I was 13. By then I was already well into puberty, and yup, that changed everything. Foster father also resorted to sexual abuse when I was 16...

Edit: I should learn to add... that some time before I reached puberty, there was also some sexual abuse from my older brother. (Damn, that was hard to type out...)


Edited by crazy gecko (03/15/13 01:53 AM)
_________________________
I guess what I'm trying to say
Is whose life is it anyway because livin'
Living is the best revenge
You can play
-- Def Leppard

My Story, Part 2

My blog

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#428113 - 03/15/13 02:42 AM . [Re: Jacob S]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (04/21/13 10:48 PM)

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#428272 - 03/16/13 11:25 PM Re: Prepubescent Sexual Victimization/Violation [Re: Coach]
Chase Eric Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 1346
I was twelve, my sister was seven and most of the other victims - all girls - were 7-8. The molester was a next door boy of 16. Always sexual intercourse, never oral. I spent my childhood trying to keep him off my little sister while at the same time keeping everyone's secrets - mine, my sister's and my molester's.

It took me years to learn the damage it caused. It taught me to carry an exquisite sense of self-doubt, to compulsively keep secrets even when there was absolutely no dishonesty or need to do so, and to quietly allow others to step into the power positions in my life. See my thread on Patterns for an example.
_________________________



Click my pic to see why I'm here

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#428274 - 03/17/13 12:01 AM . [Re: Chase Eric]
Life's A Dream Offline


Registered: 08/25/11
Posts: 886
Loc: Bouvet Island
.


Edited by Life's A Dream (04/21/13 10:51 PM)

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