You are my demon, are you not?
You should know that I have decided to ignore you....
Just shove you to the side and walk right by
I have spent entirely too much time on you
Fighting you
Hating you
And why?
You are a man
Just that
Nothing more
A man
And a tortured one at that
What kind of man has sex with a baby, a little boy, a toddler?
His own son?
What kind?
And I worry that I'm not as good as you?
Not as revered?
If they only knew, my dear Papa, the things you did to your only son
Of course, they'd never believe me
My own family doesn't believe me
Hell, half the time, I don't believe me
But, I have spent way too much time on you
Don't get me wrong.....this ain't forgiveness
That's not gonna happen
It's just a sort of "Step aside, buster, I'm comin' through."
'Cause, see, I know who you really are
And I can't imagine what it must have been like inside you
What it must have felt like
To molest your own little boy
I may or may not hate you
(Although that would probably be a yes)
But, hear me now, Daddy Dearest
Although you have managed to ruin most of my life
You do not get one minute more
Not one
The rest of this life is mine
Now, get the hell out of my way!

Bobby,

Very cool indeed. This part is really great:



I call that letting go, deciding that I've wasted too much time already on a past I can't change and a person I don't have to fear.

We can look at it this way. We have every right to our anger and other feelings, but we need to look at them and see how they are hijacking our lives and disrupting things we would really like to do with ourselves. By focusing on the abuser we give him continuing control over how we think and act. If we "let go" and instead focus on ourselves, we deny the abuser the one thing he really wanted more than anything else - power over us.

Much love,
Larry

Bobby,
I can feel that much anger over the molestation of me and other boys but I still can't focus the anger on the jerk that molested me. I think you might have just opened the portal though. Thanks,

Post deleted by Robbie Brown

Rob,

Great questions. How about starting a thread - quote that passage from me, comment, and I will reply there (since this is Bobby's poem)? There's lots to be said, and there may be guys who would want to participate or read but don't come to the poetry forum much.

Much love,
Larry

Sorry Bobby. Did not mean to hijack the thread. It and its replies just struck several nerves.