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#198500 - 01/07/08 09:00 PM Re: A difficult question to me about homosexuality [Re: Stephen_5]
evanesence Offline
Guest

Registered: 12/08/07
Posts: 119
i didn't mean to start anything with my comment .


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#198576 - 01/08/08 05:31 AM Re: A difficult question to me about homosexuality [Re: LandOfShadow]
Nate Offline
Guest

Registered: 04/30/07
Posts: 94
Loc: Philadelphia, PA
i don't buy the whole it's the family's fault bit. i think its something we've yet to uncover. perhaps god just got a bit more creative w/ some of us.

_________________________
"Love the moment. Flowers grow out of dark moments. Therefore, each moment is vital. It affects the whole. Life is a succession of such moments and to live each, is to succeed."

- Corita Kent

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#198604 - 01/08/08 10:39 AM Re: A difficult question to me about homosexuality [Re: Nate]
Scoutvictim Offline
Guest

Registered: 06/04/07
Posts: 434
Loc: St. Louis, Missouri
Nate,

*Snap*

Bravo!!!! ... BRAVO!!!!

Luv ya,
Carl

P.S. When are you coming back to MO?



_________________________
Shawn and Ben will always be in my heart....

Happiness is like peeing your pants; Everyone can see it, but only YOU feel the warmth.

Peebles, Ohio WOR alumni, Oct. 2007

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#198628 - 01/08/08 01:30 PM Re: A difficult question to me about homosexuality [Re: Scoutvictim]
SEVEN ARROWS Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/12/07
Posts: 1298
if its because of something gone '' wrong'' with the mothers body, or is just plain ''wrong''.

Were does that leave people like me. I have tried to hide my sexuality from the world for most of my life. I would have had to leave the army if it came out. People i knew were anti anything different.

So if as some people say being gay is ''wrong'', then im double cursed. A few people on this site helped me get to the point in my life, were i can say to others that im bisexual.
With the help of this site i told my wife im bisexual and her reaction was i thought you were. A bit of the pressure has left our marriage and i can be who i am and still have the love of my wife.

When i look at people i dont care if you are gay, straight, bi, trans or anything else. We are all humans and thats all that matters.

So if i like vanilla ice cream with sprinkles and you hate ice cream. Am i ''wrong''.

Im not trying to belittle the post, but when i meet someone, all i think is.

Can i trust this person
Do i like this person
Ect.

At no point does the sexuality of this person come into it.


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#198756 - 01/09/08 08:55 AM Re: A difficult question to me about homosexuality [Re: SEVEN ARROWS]
Nate Offline
Guest

Registered: 04/30/07
Posts: 94
Loc: Philadelphia, PA
hehe - well i'll be in japan at least till august 09...maybe longer and well not sure if i wanna live in MO again - hehe. we'll see!

_________________________
"Love the moment. Flowers grow out of dark moments. Therefore, each moment is vital. It affects the whole. Life is a succession of such moments and to live each, is to succeed."

- Corita Kent

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#198859 - 01/09/08 11:00 PM Re: A difficult question to me about homosexuality [Re: Nate]
Grunty1967b Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/28/05
Posts: 823
Loc: Australia
If I were to attach a label to myself I would say I’m straight not that my sexual preference, attractions or habits are the point to this very interesting thread.

I loved seeing the ‘example’ of duplicity in Jarrad’s post. There are 2 twin boys, raised in a stable family home where one chose male sexual preferences and another chose a female sexual preferences. It kind of blows out the dysfunctional/missing father figure ‘reason’. It also dispels to some extent I think the DNA thing (based on my limited medical knowledge that twins share more common DNA than non twins?). Don’t shoot me down on this – I could be totally wrong, but I think if you were to examine two ‘test subjects’ to ‘compare’ then twins would seem to be ideal.

Apart from that I think it may be more pre-disposition. Maybe that’s another way of saying DNA? I think of some who are predisposed to becoming alcoholics. Some who are could cite “it runs in the family” while others could not say that. I’ve seen similar arguments to support gay/non-gay preferences.

Cultural influences? I don’t think so either. Cultures where homosexuality is banned and can result in MAJOR persecution, torture and (according to what I’ve heard) – even death. I wouldn’t think men in those cultures would make their choices or preferences “just because”.

Religious constraints or liberalisms? Same as above I think. I don’t see how either would ultimately have any effect on the way somebody ends up living their life.

Speaking of that taboo – religion, as one who has a strong religious belief system, a person’s choice about their way of living life and their sexual preferences, favourite colour or anything else should not have that person looked down on or ostracised.

If a persons religious beliefs lead them to not personally believe that person X is living according to the way they themselves (person Y) should live that’s simply their belief. Religion is meant to accept the person unconditionally; perhaps not agree with what that person does in their life (according to their belief) but then who of us would agree with what car you should drive or which way you should style your hair? Each to their own.

Bottom line, the way I see it – I have no idea what leads people to choose their sexual preference. It seems by this thread nobody else does either.



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#198938 - 01/10/08 05:11 PM Re: A difficult question to me about homosexuality [Re: alexey]
Tom(stuocms) Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/23/06
Posts: 9
Loc: Hudson Valley - NY
If I may, I would like to add my 2 sense to this.

Looking deep inside myself, I do NOT think it is ANYTHING that environmentally affected me to become homosexual. Oh yes, there was MUCH I lived through. But, deep down inside myself, as young as 4,5,6 I can remember the deep seated feelings, of lusting for other BOYS, of hating to be near girls, and of thinking way back then they(girls) hated me. Never in my whole life have I ever, EVER felt for any female, the DEEP STRONG lust I have always felt for males! AT 5,6,7,8,9 I was in LOVE with BOYS in Commercials, in LOVE with BOYS on TV Shows, and totally infatuated and in LOVE with Classmates - BOY CLASSMATES.. Their cloths, their skin, legs face, hair..Everything. Always, ALWAYS dreaming, about touching, about exploring and among other things. Always Looking, ok STARING at their BODIES .. always with LUST.

As I grew, IT grew inside me! Of course it didn't help when i did stupid shit, like, You know I did like the easy stuff, such as cut-outs and coloring. But I also loved playing with guns, cops and robbers, cowboys and indians.. all those MALES roles with other BOYS. Being near another boy... even just close enough to feel the heat off his body, feel his warmth, his aura, was enough to drive me crazy. Looking at him, from his head to his feet.. and I mean feet, everything about him was explosive inside me. I would CARRY a friend home on my shoulders, at 9 just to have his body, and well u know, his genital part, on my neck.. holding him.. and feeling him.. MANY Times I'd have a hole in my pants pocket just to be able to hold myself cuz i was so aroused, my friends they never knew... I remember my step father saying, i think i was 7 or 8, saying when he thought i wasn't listening, saying to my brother how I was a 'fairy'! I hated it, what he said... but I had those lusts inside me. I was not feminine at all.. like some kids were ... I was a very straight normal acting kid. Skinny and Blind as bat .. which made me a sports idiot. But aside from that, I was kinda normal. In Scouts 'first aid' was always great .. being able to touch other boys MY AGE and not get in trouble. My only fear was them seeing my excitement.... So... look, I knew what I was, way way way before they started doing all their stupid stuff to me.. at 9, him and his Brother... to me it seems very clear as to which came first the chicken or the egg.. BOTH I was the Chicken and the egg was inside me.. I was a homosexual... way deep inside it was and IS what i am and they knew it.. they just made sure it was so embedded.. (pun intended) that I totally knew it too... The warm heartfelt feeling I got just giving out hints that I was, made my life easier to deal with. I can't tell you how much warmth i felt, telling someone i was a HOMOSEXUAL. Well, that is when i had the courage to, which came later in College. High school kids they found out when they pulled me into the woods, formed a circle, and i was the center of attraction. I didn't resist too much.. I wanted it.. and I WANTED IT BAD!

So to me my abuse .. it may have contributed to my 'Sexual ADDICTION' which no one seems to be able to deal with... but it didn't make me a homosexual. I was that way ...and when i hear people tell me that they became gay at 20, 40, 60... IN my mind, I say BS... no offense. To ME being a homosexual, isn't something that just overtakes you one day. It is something so deep, so strong.. it is YOU! The TOTAL essense of YOU. At least it is for me. Oh yeah there are times I wish I wasn't. BUT I am...and i do not believe anything can ever change it... I hope this makes sense and is on topic.
Tom




Edited by Tom(stuocms) (01/10/08 05:40 PM)

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#198940 - 01/10/08 05:33 PM Re: A difficult question to me about homosexuality [Re: Tom(stuocms)]
Lazarus Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/01/07
Posts: 851
Loc: Below the radar, USA
Tom,

Sometimes people my choose to adppt a gay lifestyle at 20, 30 or 40 etc. is that society may have forced them into trying to be something they are not. I knew I was gay at a very young age, but I didn't admit it to myself until I was almost 30 and to other people at age 40. So I didn't become gay, I just chose to accept it at that time and follow my feelings instead of what I thought I was supposed to do. Some people might think that I 'turned gay' at that age, but that's not quite correct.

Lazarus

P.S. Tom, please don't post in red type anymore. It's terribly difficult to read for some of us. I had to highlight your text in order to be able to see it. Thanks!

_________________________
"That which does not kill us, surely makes us stonger." - Neitsche

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#198943 - 01/10/08 05:52 PM Re: A difficult question to me about homosexuality [Re: Lazarus]
Tom(stuocms) Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/23/06
Posts: 9
Loc: Hudson Valley - NY
Hi Lazarus

First, My apologies for the red font.. I changed it back to black.

Second, I agree with your ascertion that in many instances society may have forced them into trying to be something they are not(being str8). I was just expressing my feelings, just as u have, that even though they chose to do that, JUST AS I HAD, deep down they knew at an early age the TRUTH!

MY contention is with those that say they were straight and just became gay. I do not believe that is totally possible... somewhere inside there had to be homosexual feelngs.. but again that is MY feeling... and who am i to know. I just know how it is with me.

Thanks for taking the time to response btw.

Tom


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#199149 - 01/12/08 03:33 AM Re: A difficult question to me about homosexuality [Re: alexey]
lostcowboy Offline
Member

Registered: 11/10/04
Posts: 797
Loc: North Texas
Hi guys, just wanted to add some more info. I found Simon LeVay’s home page, and he has a brief article about the theory's. The Biology of Sexual Orientation

I also found a article about how some chemicals can effect the fetus. one of the chemicals is DDT, which if my thinking is correct used to be used to kill roaches. My mom was a waitress, and could of been exposed to it. When does it happen? Note this is taken from a transgender view point.
You may find the rest of the web site to be of interest. The Gender Tree

And last but not least is http://www.love-shy.com/ Which talks about guys that are straight, but are super shy which seems to fit me to a tee. Again we are talking about the male fetus in the womb.

Take care,
Clifford

_________________________
"Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend." - Albert Camus
Pretty much my life as I have posted so far. Triggers!

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